My next four blog posts will address what I feel are 10 important steps a person should take before and during the divorce process. The First Wives World community is made up of women who have gone through divorce and women who are just starting to consider divorce or have just begun the divorce process.
These blogs are for those still in the thinking stage or those who have just started the process. I'm not encouraging anyone to follow through with divorce, but I do hope that if you come to that decision, you have the tools needed to protect yourself legally.
Step One: Find Wise Counsel
Interview at least three attorneys before you decide on one (Here are Five Tips on Finding the Right Attorney For You). Go with an attorney who has at least 5-10 years experience practicing family and divorce law. I lean towards a collaborative approach during divorce. It is easier and less expensive if you and your spouse are able to settle your issues without litigation. If that can't be, done make sure you have an attorney who is capable and willing to litigate your case before a judge. You are basically looking for two things - an attorney who knows the value of settling quickly, but is also willing to fight for you should the need arise.
Step Two: Gather Financial Information
You need a clear picture of where you and your spouse stand financially. One of the primary goals of the divorce process is the make an equitable distribution of marital assets and debts. In order to get your fair share, it's imperative that you know what is owned and what is owed. This is a three-step process:
Determine what you own.
Some marital assets are obvious. It is clear that the marital home and any financial accounts and vehicles are assets that should be split equitably. Other not-so-obvious assets may include artwork, pension plans, inheritances, or belongings brought into the marriage.
You should make a list of all possible assets. Gather all documentation regarding each asset, including the present value, when and where the asset was purchased, and whether it was purchased with joint or separate funds. You will especially want a copy of any recent real estate appraisals. Turn all documentation over to your attorney. Be sure to keep a copy for yourself.
Determine what you owe.
When determining what you owe, it doesn't matter whose name any debts are in. Marital debt will be split based on who is more financially able to pay the debt, not by whose name the debt is in.
The easiest way to determine marital debt is to get a copy of your credit report. Any debt you have will be listed on your report.
Once you determine what debt exists, you need to obtain statements on all open accounts with the balance due showing. When you turn this information over to your attorney, don't forget to keep copies for your files.
Determine Income.
You need documentation showing your income and the income of your spouse. If you and your spouse are salaried employees, you will need a copy of the most recent pay stubs plus your most recent Income Tax Return.
Determining income becomes more difficult if your spouse is self-employed. In such a case, copies of bank account statements and financial business statements will give a clear picture of income. It's always a good idea to make copies of such statements before separating and filing for divorce.
You may be able to get an idea of how much your spouse actually makes, but it can be almost impossible to determine true income when a spouse is self-employed. Gather what information you can and then your attorney can help get the rest through the discovery process.
Click here for Divorce Prep: Steps 3 to 5
Cathy Meyer is the head of About.com's Divorce Support channel. To hear more from Cathy, go to: http://divorcesupport.about.com.
What Others Have Shared ()
Keeping copies is important
I was foolish and turned everthing over to my lawyer. Then I had to fire him because he just didn't want to do the job. He made me pay for copying my file. I couldn't believe it! It was a large file too so it wasn't cheap.
I wish I had been told before hand to be sure to make copies and keep them. All very good advice by the way.
I have a client who is in
I have a client who is in the throws of a very adversarial divorce. She failed to keep copies of anything she gave to her attorney and he is fighting her tooth and nail when it comes to giving her a copy of her file.
He is angry because he was fired and is taking it out on her by heaping stress on top of a already stressful situation. It is wonderful to feel as if we can put trust in our attorney but we never know a person's true nature until they are crossed.
I can't stress enough how important it is we protect ourselves throughout every step of the divorce process...Cathy Meyer
Something I learned in the Divorce Workshop
If you are filing for divorce and the insurance is through him get any dental/medical you need done before you file or at least while you are still on his insurance.
Dental and Medical...
Karen that is a great tip. It is something on my list of things to write about. I have a friend who went in for a full physical before her divorce and found she had a chronic illness. Finding that out made a huge difference in the amount of spousal support she got.
Thanks for bringing that up...Cathy Meyer
Oh, I haven't thought about
Oh, I haven't thought about the dental and medical insurance. Once I'm divorced I won't be able to afford dental insurance I'm sure. I think it is time for my mouth to get a good going over. I'll just call it planning ahead!
divorce preparation, thanks for the tips!
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