We Grandmas have a unique perspective — and a unique set of issues:

Finances: As the finances of the divorced family changes, we grandparents are often asked to step up to the plate and assist financially.

Custody: Grandparents are often an important part of a grandchild’s life, how does access shift after divorce? Do we have rights?

Care giving: Grandparents are often rearranging their lives as they take a more active part in their grandchildren’s lives, particularly after divorce.

Setting Aside Your Life: Grandparents are often postponing their retirement plans and moves so they can help raise their grandchildren.

Many grandparents share their stories with me and their anguish as their families face the trauma. Many divorcing people share their experiences with me. And my own experience as a divorced woman before the time of books, gurus, and blogs has given me some Grandma insights about:

—What our children need to hear from us.

—What our children should and should NOT say to their children

—How we answer our grandchildren’s questions.

—What in-laws can do?

—How we advise newly dating parents.

—How we offer financial help to our kids in a healthy way.

—How we help our children get through the hurt and start their new life

While we deal with these challenging issues and significant emotions all around, we must also be the flag-bearing leader of the family — salvaging love and respect in a family searching for answers, safety, and an end to all the hurt, while heralding the new “emerging” family which may very well bear little resemblance to the family that once was. Together — Grandparents included — we can make it through.