The religious ping-pong — I can only speak on my experiences and give my opinion about what worked for me, so if it matches what you are going through, great! 

My father is Catholic and my mother is born-again Christian.  When my parents married my dad got baptized and became born-again.  We practiced born-again Christianity every Sunday like a good little family should.  When my parents divorced, my father actually didn't go to church for a while until he met his new wife, who was and is Catholic.  So surprise, surprise — my father switched back to Catholicism.

I never worried about which church to go to up until this point because I had been going to the same church my whole life.  One weekend my father took me to Catholic Church with him and I was so confused.  I didn't understand all the sit, kneel, stand, sign of the cross, sit, stand, kneel, sit, stand, and "also with you" stuff.  I gradually learned over time what to do and was fine. 

You might say to yourself, "Well they were both Christian; how different could the two churches be?"  Well, I went to the Church of Christ, which is the staunchest church you can go to.  They don't even have instrumental music because it wasn't ordained in the New Testament.  The Catholic Church has huge organs that bellow out sound from all corners of the building.  At the Church of Christ there are no statues representing Christ dying on the cross, Saints, or anything else because that is considered idolatry and they also believe that you must be baptized in water and be completely submerged in order to wash away your sins.  No sprinkling of water like in the Catholic Church.  They also don't believe in baptizing babies because babies have no sin (and trust me, with Catholics that starts a whole new conversation).

I've said it before and I'll say it again, "kids aren't stupid" and they are very intuitive.  I never saw my parents fight or even raise their voices to each other, but I knew they weren't happy.  There was simply a shift in their behavior that didn't seem quite right to me.  They didn't seem quite as affectionate as before.  I noticed my dad started working longer hours than usual.  My mother started taking me on more weekend getaway trips out of town.  So what did I do when this started happening?  I asked my parents up front "What's going on?" 

Now I'm sure most kids aren't like me ... as a matter of fact, I know most kids aren't like me.  Most would probably become shy little snails, some would lash out with bad behavior and others might even try hurting themselves because they feel in some strange way that the divorce is their fault.  I never had that opportunity because of the forethought of my parents.

At an early age I got involved in the performing arts.  I started the drama club at my elementary school because I wanted to be on stage.  When my parents started the divorce process they really ramped up my involvement in performing so I was too distracted to see all the rest of the stuff that was going on in the background of my life.  As I stated in an earlier article my parents thought out everything they did concerning my upbringing and I see it more now (of course) than I did then.  They tried to keep my life as "normal" as possible and I thank them for that.  My father and mother took me to rehearsals and helped with fund raising for special events and they attended all my performances, of which there were many.  They were both really involved in my life and made me feel secure that I had a strong "family" foundation even though my parents weren't in the same home.

Let me start out by saying I personally think my childhood was perfect. I had two loving parents who showered me with attention and affection and I never wanted for anything. I was very well taken care of and given a strong religious background that I can only thank my parents for today.

What might surprise you (now hold onto your seat)... I'm also a child of divorce. I know...how scandalous! Well, at least it was back then when my parents got divorced.

My name is Antonio Martinez, I'm 35, and when my parents divorced I was 12. Did it have an impact on me? I can honestly say, "Not that much". I was lucky. My parents didn't allow it to have a damaging impact on me. I guess I have to back up a bit and tell you a little bit about my parents.

I was what you would call an "extremely planned baby". My parents were married for years before they had me and they read every book they could on raising a well-adjusted child. So it is no shocker that they did the same when they decided to divorce.

So you might be asking now, "So how did they tell you? What did they do?" Well, actually it came in the form of a question. My mother sat me down one day when I came home for a weekend from summer camp (I went to a summer camp that lasted all summer. I was at camp for 3 weeks, come home for a weekend, then went right back to camp for another 3 weeks), I remember mom asking me, "How would you feel if when you came back from camp your father wasn't here?"

She went on to tell me that they would stay together for me if that were what I wanted. I believe she was sincere in saying that and probably would have hung in there till I was 18 and off to college if that were my choice. I looked at my mother after her short but powerful speech and said, "If it means you and dad will be happier, get the divorce, because I know you aren't happy".