From Naomi Dunne: When you're first on your own after a split, the financial elements can be completely overwhelming. It seems like every expert has a different idea of what we should be doing with our money, but right after a divorce is not the time when you've got cash to spare. I have student loans, a very small amount of credit card debt, no car payment, no mortgage payment — I rent — and no money saved for emergency funds or retirement, let alone my kids' education. Where do I put my cash first?

Sanyika Calloway Boyce writes:

Naomi, I proud of you for taking a proactive step with getting your finances in order post-divorce and more importantly recognizing that you need to find a solution that works for your unique situation.

While it might feel like you've"lost time" just remember that it is never too early-or too late-to take control of your finances so good for you for taking this necessary step.

I suggest you get a handle on your finances in 4 steps. The very first thing I'll stress is that you cannot afford NOT to save, because as women we'll likely live an average of 9 years longer than men and we need more saved to support our lifestyle — longer.

1. Open and maintain a saving account solely in your name, this is just a smart thing for every woman to do regardless of your martial status. Make a personal commitment to always keep at least $100 in the account as a foundation you can begin to build upon.

2. Commit to saving at least 5 percent (preferably 10) of everything you earn. It might not seem like you have any money to do this but start small by exercising your saving muscle with coins.

Here's what you do:

A. Get a coin holder (ideally a jar that's not easy to stick your hand into!)

B. Commit to dump all of your coins in the jar at the end of the day

Divorce often changes everything, especially your financial situation.  And unless you were the ex-wife of Michael Jordan ($150 million settlement), Steven Spielberg ($100 million settlement), or the recently divorced Heather Mills ($80 million settlement), you may be feeling the financial fallout of living on less money.

As if divorce isn't enough of a kick in the pants, you also have to be alert to what could happen if your former "love bird" turns into a vulture post-divorce.

When it comes to outstanding balances on credit — even when it's part of your divorce decree that your ex is responsible for making payments if your accounts are jointly owned — you are still legally responsible for payment when your name appears as a co-signer on the account...regardless of what the court says.

How can this be? Well, when you applied for joint credit, you both assumed repayment responsibility. And because of that assumption of debt, the responsibility will not simply be wiped away because you are no longer married.

No one knows you better than your ex; most often they have access to your favorite passwords, your account numbers, driver's license, and even social security numbers — all the pertinent information necessary to assume your identity and wreak havoc on your credit score.

So as soon as you begin the separation process, and most certainly when divorce is inevitable, you must protect yourself by:

• Getting a fraud shield put on your social security number - this is a service that you can get from the three major credit reporting agencies which will alert you via phone or mail if anyone is attempting to get credit in your name - including you.

If you are downing in debt and the thought of filing bankruptcy doesn't work for you, consider working with a credit counseling service to help you get your financial life back on track.

While a credit counseling service will not eliminate your previous credit history nor offer you a debt repayment loan they will support you in providing:

• An evaluation of your personal financial situation

• A discussion of alternatives to bankruptcy, and

• A personal money/credit management plan

A typical counseling session will last about an hour and can take place in person, on the phone, or online. The National Foundation for Credit Counseling and Consumer Credit Counseling Services both offer counseling services free of charge for those consumers who cannot afford to pay. Otherwise, you may be charged a fee for the counseling, which will generally be about $50, depending on where you live and the types of services you receive.

Since this is such a personal matter than affects multiple areas of your life, I recommend that you do some research on the credit counseling service for your unique needs. In fact, the Federal Trade Commission suggests asking the following questions when researching credit counseling services and debt consolidation agencies:

1. What specific services are offered?

2. After helping with your immediate debt needs, will they assist in developing a long-term plan for financial freedom?

3. Is there a service fee (many non-profits charge a fee)? If so, how much and how often do you pay? (Get general terms of agreement.)

4. Will a written contract be necessary? How long will you be required to work with them?

5. How soon will they begin working with you? How soon will you see results?

6. Who regulates or supervises the agency?

7. What type of credentials are their counselors required to have?

Like many women today, I once found myself in a position of having to consider bankruptcy. For me, the financial crisis came from just plain mismanagement of credit due to ignorance of how the credit system worked.

However, a money meltdown could be triggered by health issues, loss of a job, a separation from your spouse or even divorce. If you find yourself dealing with seemingly insurmountable debt after going through a divorce - a reality that can be just as scary as debt - there is hope, and bankruptcy isn't necessarily your best option.

Consider these 3 ways to deal with post-divorce debt and remove the fear and sting from the other d-word caused by your change in martial status.

Apply for a Home Equity Loan. This particular option requires you have good credit (a credit score of 650 or more) and equity in your home. Due to the current mortgage crisis and the tightening of the belts at the banks, this option is quickly becoming more difficult for many people, particularly newly divorced women.

However, it is not completely off the table as a possibility, so contact your mortgage company for more details about what is required for you to apply for a home equity loan or even a refinance of your existing loan (which could mean you're lowering your monthly payments and paying less interest on what is probably your biggest expense).

From dry cleaning to shampoo, women spend upwards of three times more for products and services than men. And even though we're long past the days of the mentality in which "men need to make more because they're the sole breadwinner," we have yet to close the wage gap.

Women are still making only 73 cents on the dollar compared to their male counterparts.

As women, we all know we're supposed to pay attention to our financial affairs, but many of us don't. But it's It never too early or too late to take control of your finances and the truth is, just like losing weight or giving up smoking, it's something only you can do for yourself. So if we earn less, carry the majority of the financial responsibility after a divorce and were never taught how to be cash-confident and savings-savvy, what can we do?

Here are a few ways to save more, make more and level the playing field:

Remove excuses. It's time to stop saying things like, "I'm just not good with money" and take the necessary steps to learn how to manage money in a way
that's empowering. Money knows no gender, it will respond equally to whoever is handling it properly.

No matter your marital status, you cannot afford not to save! Women live an average of 9 years longer than men so you'll need more saved to support your lifestyle over a longer period of time. First you must have an account solely in your name; this is just a smart thing for every woman to do. Second, you must commit to saving at least 5 percent (preferably 10) of everything you earn. Third, find the best saving vehicle. For example, ING Direct pays 3.4% (more
than you can get on most no-minimum savings accounts).

Max out your 401k plan or at least up to the company match. These are pre-tax dollars and will allow you to save automatically while reducing your tax obligation.