I think it was the fabulous Bette Davis who said growing older is not for sissies. Well, it’s not for fashionistas who like their trends with a second-skin fit, either.

But now that Spanx has taken over our universe, even late night Ben & Jerry binges and pasta-crazed vacations in Italy don’t keep us from our pencil skirts and matte jersey DVF dresses.

There’s a real sense of communal joy when women talk about body-shapers now. Instead of embarrassed whispers of “do I look fat in this?” we’re whooping it up in the dressing rooms at Saks and Bloomies. We’re sharing our latest control-garments the way we used to trade info about gynecologists and colorists.

Of course it helps that the word “girdle” is never mentioned. I came late to the party, preferring teeny thongs and lacey demi-bras no matter what the outcome.

Then one day last May beneath my Dolce & Gabbana sheath was a little pooch I couldn’t deny.

Maybe Susan Sarandon or Kim Cattrall could have pulled it off, but I slipped on my first Spanx Hide & Sleek Full Slip ($72, pictured) and was reborn.

Are they sexy? Well, the slips and camis are, especially in black. But the panties and bodysuits are more empowering than sensual, so choose your poison and know when to wear what.

Recently I did a little investigative undercover work and found some new favorites. Try what I consider these five essential pieces and let me know what you think. All are available at department stores right now:

Yummie Tummy Hip Length Shapewear Tank ($62)

A perfect layering piece to sandwich between others and wear out over jeans; the flattening tummy panel is undetectable to the eye. Get it in chocolate and navy and no one’s the wiser.

Sassybax Torso Trim Camisole with Underwire ($75)

Heart disease is the #1 killer of women, and yet another condition is so prevalent that certain stores should be labeled “dangerous to your health.”

That plague is shopping fever.

Resistant to economic strain, relationship turbulence, and toxic workplace politics, it’s easy to catch in late August or early September.

A diagnosis becomes apparent via your credit card statement weeks after symptoms first appear. At this time you may seem to have developed selective amnesia.

“I didn’t buy this did I?”

There is no cure. As a beauty and fashion editor, I see collections months before they arrive in stores, so by the time they do, I’m nearly over it (having mentally worn and rejected nearly every trend). Shoes and bags are irresistible since they genuinely give last year’s wardrobe and jeans a new look with the least amount of effort, but a few trendy clothing items can also provide a fast update.

For now, the shopping list is short, sane, and in the safe black hue of 90 % of my closet (I can’t splurge until I’m truly in love with an item) but stay tuned:

A High Heel Black Bootie

I thought I’d never want these again, but ankle-cropped booties do look great with opaque tights and tailored skirts, dresses, or stretch pants like the ones below. Open-toe versions are the hotties in this category. Manolo Blahnik’s black patent booties are fabulous at $785 but I ended up with a KORS Michael Kors croc-embossed pair for $380. I visualize them as lasting one season — not a major commitment.

Black Stirrup Pants

Maybe it’s hormonal. I don’t know about you, but at 3 AM I’m wide-awake and e-mailing my friends who are also — boiing! — awake and shopping online.

Rumor has it that sleep-deprivation leads to weight gain, general crankiness, and an urge to splurge on expensive designer bags you’d never buy in the cold light of day. I doubt that’s true, but Madonna and Martha Stewart famously get by on almost no sleep — and they seem slim and on top of their game. But, yes, they are well put-together, come to think of it…

When I do finally doze-off, I’m still multi-tasking and de-aging with these four ingredients:

Prescriptives Good In Bed Restoring Night Moisturizer ($65 at prescriptives.com)

A super-charged hybrid hydrator/subtle self-tanner that smoothes with shea butter and vitamin E, you wake up looking like you’ve been on vacation for weeks.

Rogaine for Men ($29.99 at drugstore.com) dabbed on my skimpy outer eyebrows with a Q-tip

A top NYC dermatologist, Dr. Debra Jaliman, suggested this to me as a possible way to regrow my overplucked brows... and it works! (But ask your own dermatologist first before your try)

John Frieda Frizz-Ease Crème Serum Overnight Repair ($9.99 at your local drugstore)

Work a gumball-size glob through dry hair before bed to restore a silk texture. It won’t leave any residue on pillows or sheets and makes-over crispy fried hair by dawn.

Hanro long black cotton slip-style nightgown ($124 at saksfifthavenue.com)

As a beauty editor with two divorces and thirty-six relationships under her Hermes belt, my expertise on makeup camouflage won’t come as a surprise — certainly to those who know me, it isn’t.

Like the Oracle at Delphi, my pronouncements on concealers, eye brighteners, and face-masks have saved many of my chums from anguish before, during, and after the D-word.

E-mails at 3 AM and frantic cell-calls or text messages from Sephora and the beauty floor at Barneys are the background music of my life. “Lo, my eyes look like raisins floating in dumplings, I’m blasted on anti-depressants and I have a meeting with my new lawyer at ten-thirty, clients at two. Help!”

My current (and hopefully last) husband, #3, has actually never seen me without concealer. Discretion is the best part of vanity, I think.

With that in mind, check out these tips:

If you’ve been up all night, mad with worry or just mad and have dark deep circles.

Try to think like a French woman — to them, a little blue-tinged eye is sultry. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been pouring over The Secret, or glued to TiVo’d Oprah; the suggestion of up-all-night is O.K.

Don’t aim for perfect coverage here. Just counteract the darkness with an orangey-toned concealer on the discoloration — peach or bisque, not a skintone-match shade, neutralizes brown, blue, or purple shadows.

Going one shade darker than skintone deflates any puffiness via optical illusion if that’s also an issue. I’ve found Bobbi Brown Corrector ($22 at bobbibrowncosmetics.com) to be the best. Most celebrity makeup artists I’ve worked with like Julie Tussey (her clients include divorced women Tory Burch and Christie Brinkley!) rely on it as a staple in their kits.

If you look tired or stressed (don’t worry, you’ll know because your friends will always tell you)