The opening lines of Leslie Lehr’s novel “Wife Goes On” will resonate with many women.

“The truth is, I was afraid to be alone” she writes, tapping into most women’s secret fear. “Then I heard my daughter swear she’d never get married and I realized sticking it out wouldn’t win me Mother of the Year.

“If I wanted my kids to be happy, I would have to show them how. So I tore off those golden shackles — and found out I wasn’t alone. … Everywhere, there are members who have paid their dues, know the secret handshake and are reaping the benefits of real friendship. Welcome to Club Divorce.”

That’s Diane, an MBA hotshot turned PTA Superman, speaking. In Lehr’s frothy romp, the bond of friendship between Diane and three other women creates opportunities for hankies for the tears, a hankering for new careers, and hanky-panky in dating.

Diane’s husband gambled away their assets, proving that even if your hubby is in the insurance business, there is no assurance that marriages last forever. She uses her business moxie to start Pure Romance, a company selling sex toys based on the Tupperware models of your mom’s generation.

Then there is Lana, a luscious former actress who works in a furniture store, and isn’t going to sit around and feel sorry for herself.

Annette is the hard-edged divorce lawyer who has to pay alimony to her ex-husband, who left her for a man and got custody of their daughter. She wants her child back, on her terms.

Finally there is the homecoming queen, Bonnie, who married the football star and finds that her life — saddled with two kids and Buck, a beer-swilling husband — is no fairytale.

Lehr’s characters experience all the dramas and traumas of divorce — dealing with lawyers, pissed-off kids, budgets shrunken to the size of a brownie, relocation, rejection, and, most importantly, rejuvenation.

Life isn’t over after a divorce. It’s a new beginning. But women are worried about dating again, about their ex-husbands dating again, and about the shaky feeling that comes when the divorce process begins.

www.truemomconfessions.com has agreed to swap content with firstwivesworld.com every week. True Mom Confessions provides the questions, and we provide the advice.

True Mom Question:

I don't know the protocol on dating after divorce. I haven't had feelings for soon-to-be ex DH in a long time, so I feel like I'm ready to embark on the dating scene. Do I wait until the divorce is final (at least four more months)? How long before I introduce him to the kids? I am really scared about this situation. Will anybody want to date a single Mom?

First Wives World Answer:

Single moms date all the time, and find love again. It’s called reinvention and renewal and possibility. It all awaits you in the next chapter of your life. Look at Reese Witherspoon, even Angelina Jolie. They were single moms. Now you may think, “I’m not a movie star.” But you are. You have within you something that shines brightly and will be desirable to the right person. Since your divorce is going to be finalized in four months, however, why not wait? Use this time to embark on improving yourself, buying a new outfit for a first date, and becoming the best person you can be. As far as when to introduce someone to the kids, let’s wait until you find someone worthy. While there are no set rules, most experts say you shouldn’t introduce kids to anyone you haven’t dated for at least six months. You want them to have faith in the sturdiness and consistency of love. Life is long. A whole new future awaits you, and your children.

TMQ:

What does a divorced girl need besides a good attorney, a loyal girlfriend and gainful employment? A good laugh.

“Still Hot: The Uncensored Guide to Divorce, Dating, Sex, Spite, and Happily Ever After” by Sue Mittenthal and Linda Reing delivers.

It’s a bubbling summer cobbler about the trials and tribulations of women whose middle-aged husbands leave them for the office cupcakes, dishy Russian bimbos, or hot Tarot card readers.

Sue Mittenthal and Linda Reing met when their children were toddlers and reconnected when their husbands toddled off. Only after they had moved on from their divorces could they look back and see the unexpected comedy in the drama; they decided to share it in this book, along with observations of divorced friends they met along the way.

Here are some observations:

Tell-Tale Signs He’s Leaving

• You see him gazing into the rearview mirrors while pulling up the skin around his eyes.
• Lately he volunteers to stir-fry tofu and bok choy.
• You find men’s moisturizer in the medicine cabinet, next to his Crest whitening strips and his Just For Men hair dye kit.
• He starts futzing with his comb-over and you catch him clicking on classmates.com.

Just Because He Wants a “Do-Over” It’s Not Your Fault

“That’s revisionism. You are no more responsible for his wretched state that you are for his receding hairline. His about-face is a direct result of his fear of death and decrepitude.”

Girlfriends and “Frenemies”

A girlfriend hears about your divorce and “whisks you off to Linens ’n’ Things” for fresh bedding or shepherds you to Victoria’s Secret”; she also doesn’t laugh while you “try on the rhinestone-studded g-string.”

Entering the dating scene after just a few years off the market — let alone decades — can be an intimidating experience. Everyone else seems to have learned to send pictures on their cell phones, to write a quirky ad on Match.com and figure out how to upload flattering photos of themselves.

Nothing makes a woman feel out of the loop like technological advances.

A course might help, but you can probably figure all those things out if you spend some time actually playing with your cell phone and on the Internet.

Things become urgent when you decide that you are ready to date again. One-third of the 85 million baby boomers in North America are single, so it’s just a matter of meeting one.

What you may really need help on are the ins and outs of online dating, to which baby boomers are increasingly turning.

Sign Me Up

While connecting online has become the norm, finding a likeminded friend or date can become frustrating—if you’re fishing in the wrong pond.

Take the time to visit sites before signing up.

If sites feel too juvenile, consider “mature” dating sites, such as Lavalife Prime, which is geared toward men and women who are 40-plus.

Alternatively, narrow the field by joining niche dating sites.

Places like SingleBookLovers.com, for bibliophiles, or ASoundMatch.com, for music enthusiasts, or even singlemummy.com, for single parents, connect individuals through specific tastes or lifestyles.

All About Me

Now, the most difficult, most painstaking process: writing your profile.

Rather than agonizing over personal statements or — worse — selling yourself short, ask a friend to write it. He or she won’t shy away from playing up the positives.

After a divorce or any life changing event, we reevaluate . . .our lives, our relationships, our history. While the process is integral to your sanity, it's often uncharted, uncomfortable territory. But I found a hobby that makes the healing a whole lot happier.

Scrapbooking.

Yep. That Martha-Stewart-esque-photo-cut-and-paste pastime. It's a downright fun way to organize and make sense of the feelings and memories in your head.

Pull out that box of photos in the attic. Get some adhesive (glue stick is fine) and scrapbook paper at any local craft store. Put the photos on the paper and write down on the paper what the photos contain and your thoughts and memories of those points in history. In the process of remembering and writing it down, a miraculous thing begins to happen. You begin to heal your thoughts, your heart, your soul.

It's the combination of the photos and the journaling that does it. Writing alone, does not remind you of all the parts of yourself the way contemplating a photo does. Writing and making art around those photos, even the simplest kind of art, is altogether healing. It's more powerful than any psychiatrist's couch.

And ninety-eight percent of scrapbookers are women. Much like the quilting circles of generations ago, scrapbook "crops" are weekly events where women gather to work on their craft while sharing the ups and downs, sorrows and joys of their daily lives. Just gathering in a community of women regularly makes scrapbooking a strengthening experience. Throw in the actual process of "scrapping," and you have the means to heal your life.

I have a saying, "Scrap strong sistah." It means scrapbook your life fearlessly. Uncover and discover yourself. Reclaim those parts of yourself you forgot. Venture backwards to conquer going forward. And make some really good art in the process.

Scrap strong sistah. Scrap strong.

There's nothing like a fresh start — knowing in your heart that you're ready to move past the divorce and date again. Before that little black dress comes out of the closet, ask yourself: Do I know how to make a better choice this time around?

"Things will be different," we tell ourselves. And things really can be different, of course. But only if you're different in the way you approach your next relationship. Whether you're in search of Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now, unless you want to attract "Your Ex: The Sequel," consider these tips to help you choose wisely:

Pay attention to warning signs. Red flags wave for your attention, alerting you to a potential problem or a man's character defect. If you think back to the days of your courtship with your ex, in hindsight you can see the danger signs displayed during that time. What might not be so clear is why you dismissed the warning signals.

Did you deny the potential problems because you loved him and thought that was all that mattered? Did you think he'd change, especially if you got married or had a baby? Did you tell yourself your concerns weren't a big deal? Did you think he'd be different with you than he'd been with the women in his past? Did you jump into a serious relationship from early infatuation? Were you so needy, you latched onto him so you wouldn't feel lonely and empty?

Trust yourself and those close to you. By becoming clear about how you denied potential problems in the past, you can catch yourself before making a similar mistake with the men you date. Have faith in your intuition. Whether your intuition speaks to you in a still, small voice; a gut feeling; a hunch; or some other sensation you need to follow the messages you're given. If your intuition tells you something is wrong, it probably is.

Affairs are a stunning betrayal of the heart and the pain can cut through you like a knife. Trust me though, if you choose to, you can learn from it and come to realize that you have grown and are a better person.

Sometimes the most difficult lessons in life are the ones that force us to break out of our box and make a decision. You can either learn from the pain or you can be destroyed by it. Everything depends on where your thoughts are control what you think about and you will control your life.

Seven Signs of a Cheating Husband

1. Is your husband paying more attention to his appearance? Is he wearing new clothes; using cologne; and make sure his hair is combed? If this is not his normal behavior then this is a huge sign your husband is having an affair.

2. Is he critical of you and has he been picking fights lately? This is another big sign. My ex was very cranky around the time he was cheating and I couldn't understand why he was so angry with me. I remember one night he got dressed, put on his shoes and brushed his teeth. I thought it was odd because it was late and it looked like he was going somewhere. Instead he sat on the couch. As I was finishing something on the computer, he yelled: "So you're not going to spend any time with me? Fine, I'm, going to my friend's house." And he got up and left. I realized later that he was purposely picking a fight so he could have an excuse to leave the house. His "friend" was, of course, his lover.

3. Watch out if he is suddenly too nice to you. If this is not his normal behavior then he could be feeling very guilty and trying to assuage his pangs of guilt.