Feel like you're losing your grip on those financial purse strings? (Especially if you've just heard that credit card companies are charging an extra ten cents a gallon at the pump!) Even cereal is higher at the grocery store, as is milk. Everything for the kids is going up, up, up!

But listen. There are still ways you can go out with friends, shop for groceries, make more money, save money as a family project, and plug your financial leaks.

First, let's deal with eating out.

You need adult time, if for no other reason than to have another grown up to bounce kid questions off of.

And if you're hoping to meet a guy, youíre not going to find him in your closet.

Going out doesn't have to take your budget into the red zone.

Here are five ways to eat out without breaking into the kids' piggy bank.

Share an entrée or make a meal out of appetizers

American food portions are so super-sized that the average entrée could feed at least two, sometimes even three people! But if you're going to split an entrée, find out first if the restaurant charges a fee for that. Appetisers, or small plates (tapas), are usually rich in better restaurants, or gigantic in lower priced restaurants, and thus more filling. An appetizer can make a fine meal, and cost half as much as an entrée.

Be sure to ask how much the specials cost

This a major pet peeve. How many times have you been in a restaurant when the waitperson describes a succulent-sounding, special dish-of-the-day? You go for it, and then sit dumbfounded when you see the bill and find out the price. It's a sign of financial self-confidence to nicely ask "and what do those specials run?" so you can make an informed decision.

Soup, it does a body good

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You want the house. You know you want the house – unless it brings back too many bad memories. The question then is: Can you afford to keep it?

Well, can you not? I’m a financial advisor in Los Angeles, and I hear this question all the time. Should we sell the house and split the money? How can I possibly make the right decision?

Chin up, sister. My mentor Deborah, 71, was divorced 18 years ago and turned a $3 million dollar real estate portfolio into a $15 million dollar one.

You can too.

Let’s take a hypothetical: a couple has been married for 18 years. When they split up, they both thought they got the better deal.

The wife, who made less than half the salary of the husband, kept the $600,000 house, which had a remaining mortgage of $200,000. With taxes and insurance, her monthly payments would come to approximately $1,500, assuming a 30 year mortgage at 6.5%.

The husband, meanwhile, took something of equal value: an IRA worth $650,000.

To make their shares even, he threw in a $50,000 membership to the local country club, which she could sell if she wanted.

They split what remained in their savings account.

So who got the better deal? He got the equivalent of cash, and she was saddled with a mortgage, right?

And the membership to the country club required paying dues.

But she’s the winner.

The country club membership allowed her children to swim and learn tennis for almost nothing.

His IRA was effectively worth 25 percent to 40 percent less than its face value because all IRA distributions are taxed as ordinary income upon withdrawal.

Sure, the wife would be taxed if she sold the house, but the fed allows a $250,000 tax break on selling a primary residence if she lives in for two of the last five years.

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As men set their sights on women’s earnings, their entrepreneurial spirits, and sometimes, their celebrity value, women are increasingly finding the picture of so-called equality looking very strange. How is it that women increasingly are paying alimony?

Almost one in three married women makes more money than their spouses do. This economic statistic is certainly a factor why women increasingly are paying alimony.
However, in our society, women seem surprised to have to pay alimony even if they earn more.

This is because it is a fairly recent phenomenon in our legal courts. Secondly, for many women who are breadwinners (in a failed marriage), it’s not as if they ever expected to out earn their husbands, or do all of the heavy lifting in the family, or end up giving him spending money as you would do with a child. Women often feel cheated by the legal system because it is possible that they have to reward a sit at home bum.

The wife’s sense of being the victim is intensified when children are involved. Women share disproportionately the burden of money making, household chores, and child rearing. This is usually compounded by the lack of gratitude, appreciation, and emotional support a breadwinner is typically afforded by the household.

I have assisted many divorcing women who face the prospect of paying alimony. Our financial strategy is predicated upon her entire contribution to the family, including her spouse. Most importantly, they realize they are not an anomaly. They are freed of social stigma and part of a trend that is growing in ranks.

Summer is a very expensive time for families, and divorced working moms are often caught in a very tough situation managing the summer schedule on a budget. I want my children to have the best of everything and have grossly overdone the camps, vacations, and summer eating out. This year I even found myself overdoing the summer wardrobe. I particularly wanted to get a few Izod shirts and have resisted because I just cannot pay $28 (or is is more?) for a 5 year-old's t-shirt.

So how do you plan for fun times and create special memories without racking up tons of credit card debt?

I break the summer into four chunks of time. The Memorial Day kick off, the July 4th classic, the August blowout, and the Labor Day wrap-up. I like to create excitement and celebration for each of these times, yet cannot afford to host a big party or go away. I plan well in advance a special picnic or event for each, carefully managing the expense and ease of it. At my children's age, being with their friends is what they love the most, so coordinating a picnic with a few other families is always great. The problem is many married friends of mine like to have just family outings during that time or they only invite over their groovy married friends. That one hurts a lot but it is a reality.

Thus, we divorced single moms have to put in more thought and planning for the summer than married friends. We have to find which friends are in town and which ones are open to planning with a single mom.

Truth be told, while it is important for families to spend time together, without friends it can be tricky sometimes for the divorced mom. When your kids tell you in the middle of a special day together that they are bored and want to see their friends, it can be very hard emotionally. Consequently, while we do things together, occasionally I am careful on special occasions to have affordable plans and good friends around.

About six years ago a colleague told me he was canceling his home telephone line and going to solely rely on his cell phone. I almost fainted and thought it was virtually unamerican for a person not to have a home telephone. What about the safety risks, I argued. He responded that he felt they were low because his cell phone was always by his bed and, in an earthquake or other natural disaster that we Californians must think about, land lines were as likely to go down as cell phones.

I currently have a home phone, cell phone, and work phone. I also have two email accounts. On any given day I can receive messages on each of these modern devices and I often get too tired at night to check my home phone messages.

On several occasions I have gone days without checking my home phone, and just assumed important calls would also try my cell phone. Recently I had trouble with my home phone and it has been over ten days since I have been able to get calls at home. In this time, I realize I can consolidate all of my calls to my cell and cancel my land line.

I do not feel it is a big risk and I believe the cost savings will add up over time, never mind the time saved in receiving all of my calls on one single phone. This cost saving and time saving measure might not be for everyone, but it is one I am going to try out for the remainder of the year. Home phone lines might become a thing of the past.

What's the first thing your girlfriends ask you when you meet that someone special, especially after going through a divorce? They typically ask you if you are emotionally compatible, spiritually compatible, or and/or physically compatible. But do they ever ask you if you are financially compatible? Probably not. This is incredibly ironic given that time and again money is cited as #1 cause of fights, #1 cause of divorce, and top source of general life stress. The reality is dealing with the subject right front can prevent a mountain of heartache down the road.

When you think your new relationship is heading to the next level (so not on date two but when discussing moving in or marriage) it's time to "get financially naked" with each other. Our point is that if you are willing to take your clothes off with someone in one way you should be willing to take your clothes off with them financially as well. Specifically we recommend exchanging a list of what you own, what you owe and your credit scores.

Light some candles, put on some soothing music and talk about how money was (or wasn't!) talked about as you were growing up. This is also a great time to talk about your life and financial priorities. This conversation will likely be awkward at first, but over the long run you'll be amazed at how it can really bring you closer. If you're not sure how to bring the subject up, say you read about it on First Wives World!

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In most cases, child support does not cover even half of the costs of raising a child properly. It leaves a huge gap for the mother to fill financially, and often the child suffers while the mom is filled with resentment. School resources are so scarce that most American families today are hiring tutors and need to pay for their child's sports activities as these are cut from the school budget. The courts do not consider these costs and it leaves the mom to either live with the substandard education or scramble to get financial aid or make extra money.

Admittedly, this is one area I need help in. I am so focused on making my own money and fully disengaging from my ex financially that I never think about asking him to contribute to the kids' activities and extra curriculum. I just assume he is broke and that I am on my own.

But I am making a big mistake. In fact we have a meeting on Tuesday (just the two of us) to discuss the summer activities and the developmental activities for next school year. I am going to ask him to contribute to these activities and participate more financially in their development.

I believe it takes patience and humility to sit down with your ex and go over the details of the extra costs associated with properly raising children. Of course it will be the rare dad that jumps in and offers to pay for these with enthusiasm and joy, but it can lead to them taking a bigger interest in their development and a willingness to contribute more financially. You will not know until you try and it might take a few meetings. But even if it results in just one dad helping more, my article will have been worth it.

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After a difficult divorce, Becky Rohrer was jobless with a baby to support. Instead of re-entering the 9-to-5 world, she put all her savings into an abandoned house in Westerville, Ohio and transformed it into The College Inn Bed & Breakfast.

Becky's decision to invest in herself and start a small business opened up a whole new world for her. She boosted her self-esteem and created a flexible lifestyle that allowed her to spend precious time with her son as he was growing up.

The leap from employee to entrepreneur is challenging. Our exclusive firstwivesworld series will help you discover whether you have what it takes. As Becky Rohrer discovered, the rewards can be enormous. Being your own boss can offer you the freedom to do work you really love. It can also be the path to financial independence. While launching a venture is very time intensive and demanding, successful business owners often earn more than they would working for someone else.

If starting a small business sounds appealing, you will need a road map. Based on frontline advice from the entrepreneurs interviewed in my new book, Birthing the Elephant, here is what you should do:

Pursue your passion: Desire is a powerful motivator: It will help fuel your emotional stamina and give you the staying power to overcome the barriers you'll hit along the way. Identify a hobby or area of interest that truly excites you. Dig deep for an idea with strong business potential that you're prepared to mobilize all your resources to drive forward.

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For those of you making even a little bit more than you need for your fixed expenses, we are going to start a gentle and sustainable saving process that will help you build an emergency fund or, better yet, an investment fun.

After a recent personal budget review, I realized that I have been systematically spending more than I am making. I have a strict "no credit card debt" policy, so I was simply going to savings each month to pay everything off and thinking the following month I would be sure to spend less and make up for extra spending the month before. After 9 months or more, my savings account is teetering on extinction.

The cost of my children's after school activities started mounting and I could not say no to many expensive private lessons and sports activities.  Add summer camp to that, a new needed sofa and computer, and you can see how quickly the costs add up.

Hopefully by now you went through your budget and determined an amount that we can take off the top every month and set aside. The strategy is to pay yourself first. In this process, I am assuming you are receiving a traditional paycheck where taxes and  401k contributions are already taken out. I am assuming you are maximizing your 401k and now we are building a personal savings account in addition to your retirement account.

The amount you save per month can be as low at $25 or as high as you can commit to month after month. The objective is for you to put this money permanently aside for a 6-month cash reserve or begin a long-term investment account.

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In my first article, I discussed the importance and inevitability of developing and living with a spending plan ( budget), savings plan, and debt management plan. Now that we agree we all must have one, let's discuss each one separately and then give you the tools to prepare one for yourself.

The Spending Plan

This is really actually quite easy because you have to start by listing all of your fixed monthly expenses. Take out a piece of paper now and do that. Include everything you can think of and then total that up. At this point, I have a catch-all for miscellaneous, and that is my average credit card monthly bill. I have to be careful here because many people I know who have a spending problem stop using their credit card, but I use mine for everything because I like to get the miles and I am disciplined enough to pay it off every month.

Accumulating miles on my credit card has been a great way for me to get free airline tickets over the last 10 years. Many of my clients are choosing the credit cards that give rebates and it is important to look at each. You must, however, be able to pay them off monthly and not incur any interest charges for them to make any sense at all. Personally, I have a strict "no credit card debt" policy so I am able to charge my sundry items and some bills to my credit and get the benefit of miles. Again, you can only take advantage of the miles or rebates if you have a strict discipline of paying your credit cards off monthly and on time.

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