Safety continues to be the #1 issue facing today's woman travelers. There are many actions during the travel process (such as getting into a cab), where a woman is vulnerable but she takes with blind trust because that is the only way for her to get from point A to point B or conduct her business. By arming yourself with some tips, tricks and tools you'll be prepared to feel more confident and safe and handle the unexpected turbulence that might come your way.

Some key security tips that every traveler should use:

Check-in Checklist.

In a hotel, don't let the desk clerk announce your room in a voice that can be heard by anyone but you. If you are signing a hotel charge to your room, do not leave the signed receipt on the table; give it directly back to the server. Keep yourself safe and keep unwanted visitors out - check to be sure there's no one else in your room every time you enter, check the phone to make sure it works, and use door bolts and chains. Fire safety: don't trust the map on the back of the door; do a dry run - drop your bags and find the closest exits, then relax. When you go out, leave a note in your room detailing where you went, what time you left and what you were wearing.

Identity Insurance.

Do not allow your name, credit card number, home address or phone to be discussed or printed on any visible document, including luggage tags.

Put Your Best Foot Forward.

Do you like to run as part of your work out routine while on the road? You don't have to run alone - contact a health club or running store and inquire about running clubs; and join one of them for your daily run.

What's in your Wallet.

Minimize the number of credit cards you carry. Good rule: one for business and one for personal. If you are traveling internationally, alert your bank that you will be out of the country and to expect uncommon charges.

First, a quick word on the meaning of "Spirituality" so that no one confuses this with some type of religious statement. Religion can be a wonderful thing for some people, but just by naming it, it puts you into a specific category, which automatically puts other people outside of that category, if they happen not to share your religious beliefs.

Spirituality is simply the willingness to be open to the concept that there are forces at work in this world that are beyond our comprehension. Some people refer to those forces as Nature, The Universe, or G-d. It doesn't matter what you call it, as long as you know it isn't you, because it's when you think that you are running your own life, and that it's up to you to make everything work out perfectly, you are setting yourself up for stress-related illness and Depression.

As it pertains to divorce, which is one of the most stressful things a person can experience, there are certain Spiritual principles that are important to grasp:

1. People are put in your path for a reason. You never meet anyone by accident.

2. You never made a mistake in your life. It was all a learning experience, even if the lesson was just that you could learn what you do NOT want in your life.

3. Not everyone is meant to be in your life forever. Some people are only meant to be in your life for a certain amount of time, until you both learn what you need to learn.

A few weeks ago, I read a few articles on the inevitability of depression as middle age draws closer. Did you see those stories? They were everywhere, but no need to scramble around for any; they all read pretty much exactly like this one, from US News and World Reports.

I focused on this particularly un-uplifting passage: "The researchers cautioned that cheerful people tend to live longer than unhappy people — a fact that might have skewed the overall finding. But they also suggested that evidence of a happiness curve might simply reflect a midlife choice to give up long-held but no longer tenable aspirations, followed by a senior's sense of gratitude for having successfully endured while others did not.

Giving up your dreams plus gratitude you're not dead yet, and those are supposed to be the good parts

Oh well. The real point of the articles, if not the study itself, was meant to be "Feel better about not feeling so great — it's normal!" And I do know from my sex education work that normalizing, the mere act of telling people how many others there are in their cohort, can be surprisingly therapeutic.

Happy New Year! Okay it's a little late, but let's hope for a good one this time.

I'm not much of a fan of the usual type of resolution (I quit smoking when I was good and ready, and I'll lose this post-baby weight the same way) because they are generally just another tool with which to bash ourselves over the head and really, haven't we got a boxful of those already?

There's a certain appeal, though, to the art of light-hearted self improvement. The stakes are low — if you promise to buy yourself a cute vibrator and you never get around to it, so what? It's not like your insurance is going to go up. In that spirit, here is a list of sexual self-improvers for the new year. Do them or don't, we'll never know!

1) If you've been faking it, cut that right out.

Just quit it. If you're tired of the action, why not just say "We can stop now?" And if you feel the need to prop up a sagging ego (not your own), maybe it's time to wonder why you don't feel comfortable just telling the truth, or to start going out with someone who doesn't require that sort of bolstering.

2) Try something new: As simple as leaving the light on or as complicated as joining a special interest club and buying a whole new wardrobe.

3) Learn about something new even if you're not sure you want to try it.

A great deal of our "Ew, gross, nobody should ever do that" reaction to unusual practices comes more from their novelty than from any real inherent heinousness. That, and from our tendency to assume the worst. So much of so-called kinky sex is not only utterly harmless but rather endearingly nerdly in practice, but there's no way to know this without risking at least a little exposure. Web-surfing is safe!

4) Buy a toy.

This time of year, when everything is shopping and shopping guides and guides to shopping guides anyway, why not a shopping guide? I think we've already determined that if you're dating you're using condoms, but which kinds, and why?

What makes a good condom? Do any of those claims have any validity, anyway? Is anything in this world, ultimately, truly ribbed for your pleasure?

Most of us, faced with a tricky consumer-good decision, turn to something like Consumer Reports, and why should condom shoppers do any differently? CS regularly rates condoms, although the most recent rundown I can find on their public site dates from 2005.

You can find the ratings are here and an overview with some points of interest is here, but with the exception of the breakage stats for the very worst condoms (marketed by Planned Parenthood, of all people) and an admonition not to buy XXL condoms unless he really is an XXL (in width, especially), I don't find Consumer Reports' ratings all that illuminating.

Consumer Reports often rates based on the presence or absence of features I'd find unnecessary if not actively annoying: Do I care if it my coffee-maker can be programmed to make weaker coffee on alternate Wednesdays? I don't and I wish it wouldn't. So if Consumer Reports has its uses but often seems oddly ill-focused to me, who does know exactly what women are looking for in a sex-aide, be it the oscillating, alternating-current kind or merely a simple rubber safety device?

The idea of menstrual suppression offends some women ("what's wrong with women's bodies the way they were meant to be?") and frightens others ("Doesn't that cause cancer?") but women's health professionals are generally pretty blasé about it and many practice it themselves.

The Association of Reproductive Health Professionals, which ought to know, offers a number of fact sheets explaining why it isn't likely to be bad for you (women have been skipping the placebo week and thus their periods for as long as there have been pills to take or skip, to no demonstrated ill effect) and how indeed it might even be good for you.

There's no question that "the experts" have an established pattern of being very very sure one week that something will save your life, only to announce the next that that very something will kill us all in short order, but there is a good deal of science on this.

In response to the question of endometrial cancer raised by several of the women I talked to, Laura, who is not only a woman, but a doctor as well, responded: "The endometrial cancer risk happens with unopposed estrogen — estrogen causes the lining to differentiate (make channels and stuff so it can support a pregnancy if necessary) which is a risk for cancer because there are all those cells dividing away.

With progesterone in the mix as well, that doesn't happen. This is why only women who've had a hysterectomy should get estrogen-only HRT; if you have a uterus you need progesterone as well. Since OCPs [oral contraceptive pills] have the two hormones in combination, there's no reason to think that they'd raise risks for endometrial cancer (and the safety is borne out by data)."

"The whole gang is going swimming..." the old ads proclaimed, over a black-and-white "before" sketch of poor Janie, in her pleated skirt and saddle shoes, gazing moodily out the window, stuck at home once again because it's one of those days.

Of course, even the tampon ads promised Janie deliverance from a life of periodic fun-lessness, but how many of us have ever felt so confident, as the ads would have it, that we would frolic on the beach in a snow-white one-piece, like Janie there in the "after" picture?

My own Aunt Flo has had a habit of stowing aboard on every vacation, demonstrating a special affinity for camping trips (bleeding + no change of clothes + no shower = unhappy camper me) and, of course, romantic liaisons of all sorts.

So while I personally probably won't be seeking a 'scrip, I've been watching the advent of the new "few periods" (Seasonale) or "no periods" (Lybrel) birth control pills with some interest. If I spent a lot of time lying around in the nude looking tiny and perfect like my friend Rachel, who only vacations in spots where people speak French and wear no pants ("I'll take BCP packs back-to-back to suppress it every once in a while," she says, "Especially if I'm going to the beach.

Who wants to be lying around completely naked but for a little string hanging out of you? ") you better believe I'd be suppressing that old bitch like nobody's business. She's tagged along on nearly every date I've ever had. Stay home already, Bitchy. Take up crocheting or something.

The new pills, which are pretty much the old pills minus the one week of blanks and plus a good deal of rhetoric about freedom and autonomy, are catching on, and, I'm assuming, will continue to do so until we are able to look back upon the bad old days of monthly no-fun days with a mixture of astonishment and scorn.

When I began navigating the process of divorce, it consumed my life. I ate, drank and slept divorce. It seemed to be all I could think about or talk about and all that talking and thinking fed my raw emotions.

If you are consumed by the legal, emotional and financial aspects of your divorce here are some tips to help avoid obsessive thinking and reflection:

1. Set a daily time limit for thinking about and dealing with divorce issues. Give yourself permission to wallow in it one or two hours a day and then let it go. Fill the rest of your day with distractions that promote a healthy life instead of feeding the negative emotions.

2. Don't talk about divorce with everyone you know. Have a select group of friends and family that you confide in and us as support. The cashier at your local super market doesn't need to know the details of your struggles with your ex or the family court system. Limiting who you talk to about your divorce means less divorce talk and thought.

3. Spend time taking care of yourself. If you're busy working out and getting your body back into dating shape, there won't be time for thoughts of divorce. Get active and stay active!

4. Distract yourself with fun activities. Hang out at Barnes and Noble, but stay away from the self-help aisle! Take a class at your local university or learn to pole dance. Whether you choose to feed your brain with knowledge or take up a hobby that feeds your need for fun, it doesn't matter, as long as it diverts your attention away from divorce issues.

5. Spend time with people who have interesting lives. You need friends and family who will support you but you also need people in your life who can lead by example. You know the sort of people I'm talking about. If they aren't off climbing a mountain somewhere, they're planning their next adventure. Cultivate relationships with such people and don't let the dust settle under your feet.