A job search can be intimidating for even the most confident person. It's all the more daunting after an emotional set back like divorce.

Perhaps you want to start a whole new life direction for yourself. Or maybe you're re-entering the job market after a long absence.

Are your skills current? How you will handle an interview? How you will measure up against other job-seekers? Here's how to brush yourself off and make your job search pay off:

Fill in the blanks. Is there a gap in your resume staring you in the face? Find a way to fill it. Even if you weren't working outside the home, you still developed and maintained many skills that translate to the workplace. Present them in a way that shows off your strengths and demonstrates that you're qualified to handle ANYTHING that comes your way. Chances you did something that called for business skills. Did you:

• •Organize the Scout cookie drive, food bank collection, wreath sales?
• •Work as a teacher's aid, or in the office of your local school?
• •Volunteer to support of a political candidate or environmental cause?
• •Write, edit or publish your school/church newsletter?

These types of experience are just as important as those used in a paying job, so list them. If you haven't done any volunteer work, address the gap in your cover letter. Add a few sentences to say after being out of the workforce for several years to raise a family (certainly no small feat in itself!) you are ready and eager to return.

Get current. It may be time to hit the books. If you're looking for office work but your computer experience begins and ends with Solitaire, get busy and take some classes. Here's how you can get started:

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If you are a divorced single Mother one of the biggest challenges you will face is the issue of childcare. Whether you are a working mother with multiple young children or a stay at home mom who needs a hand, you are probably asking the question "How can I go about finding quality childcare"?

There are several options, however the two most common methods would be using a placement Agency, or using an online resource.

Using a placement Agency has many advantages, for instance, if money is not an issue one should do the research and consider a good reputable Agency. An Agency simply does all the work involved in vigorously screening candidates before they are presented to a prospective employer, providing clients with support, trial and guarantee periods. In addition, the Agency runs all the necessary background checks involved. Agency Fee's are usually based on a percentage of the employee's annual salary which is usually several thousand dollars. This can be a tremendous disadvantage for a divorced Mother on a fixed budget!

Using an online service offers advantages too at a fraction of the cost. Of course, you must do all the screening, interviewing, emailing, phone calling and background checks yourself. However, the nice thing is that this can all be done in the convenience of your home or office at anytime, during or after business hours. You have the control as opposed to having to go through or reach an Agency representative.

As a nanny expert in the field I suggest that you evaluate your situation (i.e., finances, and time frame) If you have the luxury of using both methods you should do so. Remember, these are your children!
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Five years ago, one of my best friends got divorced. Her husband met another woman and left her and their two small boys. Heartbroken and alone, she and her kids moved in with my family while she tried to get her bearings. Oh, did I mention the jerk who left her was my brother?

Until then, I had never seen divorce up close and personal. Most of the people I knew were in seemingly healthy marriages. When my sister-in-law moved in, I honestly imagined that home-cooked meals, some pretty new clothes, a bedroom makeover in feminine florals and oodles of babysitting would get her right back up on her feet. After all, “she’d be better off without him after what he did to her.” She was smart, young and pretty. Why was she moping around? “Shake it off.” I thought. “Get over it and move on.”

But for months, she couldn’t eat, sleep or digest what was happening to her. Not only had she lost her husband, she had lost her home, her role as a stay-at-home mom and her confidence.

As the months passed, I grew impatient with her. I wanted her to face life with more courage. When she took a job with a local school district and moved into a new condo with my nephews, I thought, “Wow, it’s been almost a year. I hope she snaps out of this soon.” But now that I’m divorced, I finally understand how wrong I’d been all along.

Here are some of the stupid things I said, and things that people have said to me that serve no purpose to the newly broken-hearted:

1. “Get over it and move on!” I shamefully admit that I said this to people who were in the “first trimester” of the divorce process. As I’ve since learned, it takes time to adjust to divorce. “Getting over it” is a lot easier said than done. Divorce is not the common cold, the symptoms don’t clear up in a week or two.

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Getting your career back on track after going through a divorce is not easy, particularly if you have been out of the workforce for some period of time. Because it's an emotional time, recent divorcees are often not in the best position to make the right decisions.

Too often, due to fear or financial exigencies, or simply because they are relying on bad advice, divorcees fail to take the right steps to get back on track and simply take the first job that they find. The labor market is very open to women returning to the workforce after time off. A recent survey by the Center for Work/Life Policy found that of women with college degrees, 74% who took time off to raise families were able to return to work when they decided to go back. The key is to know how to go about it.

Here are some common mistakes that women make regarding their careers when they are going through a divorce:

FAILURE TO GET EDUCATIONAL AND CAREER ASSISTANCE AS PART OF THE DIVORCE SETTLEMENT — For a variety of reasons, including not recognizing its importance or fear that it might affect the amount of their alimony or child support, women fail to include provisions in their divorce settlements to get their spouses to pay for education and training to improve or update their job skills. Similarly they fail to include provisions to pay for professional career coaching to make them more marketable and help them return to the work force. Both types of support are actually relatively easy to gain agreement on.

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Do you have a life plan? If not, why not? If you think you're too busy to sit down and create your own life plan, consider the following:

In a 1953 study conducted at Yale University, students in the graduating class were interviewed and asked whether they had a life plan, with a set of written goals. Less than 3% had a clear plan of action and written goals. Twenty years later, researchers re-interviewed the students. The 3% that had written goals had a net worth greater than the other 97% combined! As well, 3% reported a higher level of life satisfaction than their counterparts who had no action plan or written goals.

A higher level of life satisfaction seems like a good reason to finally sit down and come up with a life plan don't you think? It isn't difficult, but it will require some time and effort on your part. You will need to mark off a time slot in your busy schedule. Supply yourself with a favorite pen, some paper or a journal and then follow these helpful steps:

Step 1: Deciding What is Important:

I would suggest a life plan based on a 6-month, 1 year or 5-year period. Once you have decided how far out you want to plan, start your list.

Define the important aspects of your life. For example, you may value health, family, friends, spiritual growth, and career advancement (not necessarily in that order). If possible, prioritize what you feel is important and put them into categories. You can then break them down into subcategories.

Step 2: Define What You Want:

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As a financial planner, the most important figure I ask clients to estimate before they meet with me is the cost per month of comfortably supporting the family. Almost always, I have to increase that figure by 30 percent to arrive at the real number. This is particularly critical if you are in the middle of a divorce and suporting your family.

I live in West Los Angeles where the cost of living has grown very high for families — particularly the cost of housing and education. Private elementary school alone now costs $25,000 to $30,000 per child per year here.

Stop now and list your monthly expenses. If you add up that list, then increase the total by 30 percent, you'll most likely arrive at the amount you will need to sustain yourself and cover emergencies, holidays and a short vacation. How does that look? If the number is a lot more than you're taking in, accept the situation as challenge. And, most importantly, find ways to increase your income.

It's possible to scale back our lifestyle, but only to a certain point. That's why I would rather see clients focus on figuring out how to leverage their skills to create more income. After my father died my mom rented a room in our house to a young women new to town. We agreed she would stay for one year. The situation worked for my mom because she knew she'd get her privacy back in one year, but in the meantime would make some extra money.

Clarifying how much income you need is very important because it will push you to set your sights on finding a job that pays enough. There is nothing more powerful when negotiating for a job than to say, "I need to make x to support my family," or, "I need to make x to afford the cost of living in Los Angeles."

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