After a difficult divorce, Becky Rohrer was jobless with a baby to support. Instead of re-entering the 9-to-5 world, she put all her savings into an abandoned house in Westerville, Ohio and transformed it into The College Inn Bed & Breakfast.

Becky's decision to invest in herself and start a small business opened up a whole new world for her. She boosted her self-esteem and created a flexible lifestyle that allowed her to spend precious time with her son as he was growing up.

The leap from employee to entrepreneur is challenging. Our exclusive firstwivesworld series will help you discover whether you have what it takes. As Becky Rohrer discovered, the rewards can be enormous. Being your own boss can offer you the freedom to do work you really love. It can also be the path to financial independence. While launching a venture is very time intensive and demanding, successful business owners often earn more than they would working for someone else.

If starting a small business sounds appealing, you will need a road map. Based on frontline advice from the entrepreneurs interviewed in my new book, Birthing the Elephant, here is what you should do:

Pursue your passion: Desire is a powerful motivator: It will help fuel your emotional stamina and give you the staying power to overcome the barriers you'll hit along the way. Identify a hobby or area of interest that truly excites you. Dig deep for an idea with strong business potential that you're prepared to mobilize all your resources to drive forward.

For those of you making even a little bit more than you need for your fixed expenses, we are going to start a gentle and sustainable saving process that will help you build an emergency fund or, better yet, an investment fun.

After a recent personal budget review, I realized that I have been systematically spending more than I am making. I have a strict "no credit card debt" policy, so I was simply going to savings each month to pay everything off and thinking the following month I would be sure to spend less and make up for extra spending the month before. After 9 months or more, my savings account is teetering on extinction.

The cost of my children's after school activities started mounting and I could not say no to many expensive private lessons and sports activities.  Add summer camp to that, a new needed sofa and computer, and you can see how quickly the costs add up.

Hopefully by now you went through your budget and determined an amount that we can take off the top every month and set aside. The strategy is to pay yourself first. In this process, I am assuming you are receiving a traditional paycheck where taxes and  401k contributions are already taken out. I am assuming you are maximizing your 401k and now we are building a personal savings account in addition to your retirement account.

The amount you save per month can be as low at $25 or as high as you can commit to month after month. The objective is for you to put this money permanently aside for a 6-month cash reserve or begin a long-term investment account.

In my first article, I discussed the importance and inevitability of developing and living with a spending plan ( budget), savings plan, and debt management plan. Now that we agree we all must have one, let's discuss each one separately and then give you the tools to prepare one for yourself.

The Spending Plan

This is really actually quite easy because you have to start by listing all of your fixed monthly expenses. Take out a piece of paper now and do that. Include everything you can think of and then total that up. At this point, I have a catch-all for miscellaneous, and that is my average credit card monthly bill. I have to be careful here because many people I know who have a spending problem stop using their credit card, but I use mine for everything because I like to get the miles and I am disciplined enough to pay it off every month.

Accumulating miles on my credit card has been a great way for me to get free airline tickets over the last 10 years. Many of my clients are choosing the credit cards that give rebates and it is important to look at each. You must, however, be able to pay them off monthly and not incur any interest charges for them to make any sense at all. Personally, I have a strict "no credit card debt" policy so I am able to charge my sundry items and some bills to my credit and get the benefit of miles. Again, you can only take advantage of the miles or rebates if you have a strict discipline of paying your credit cards off monthly and on time.

Budgets are like diets...difficult to maintain and backfire resulting in binging and rebellion. Admitting that I cannot spend like I use to or like the "Jones" immediately puts me in a place of defensiveness and determination to take a well deserved vacation or "invest" in a new summer wardrobe.

In the last 10 years we have identified in our country an obesity crisis spanning from our youngest citizens to most middle-age Americans. It was embarrassing to face, but the statistics and health problems stemming from this fact were too strong to ignore. Now we cannot look at an overweight person without having compassion and concern about their heart attack risks, diabetes and general propensity for other health problems. It is no longer simply a judgment on their appearance but a concern for the inevitable health issues that come from prolonged obesity.

The crisis emerging among Americans today is a spending and debt crisis. An over-indulgence in consumption of the material kind. So likewise, today when we have a friend or family member who is overspending or simply not preparing or saving for their old age, we worry for the long term consequences on their quality of life.

All of us know that, as we age, our metabolism slows down and watching what we eat is more important than ever. Likewise, as we age our earning capacity levels out and we have less years to save and plan for retirement. Consequently, like watching our food choices becomes more and more important as we age for health and weight reasons, a regimented savings, spending, and debt management plan becomes imperative for sound financial health.

Resign yourself to developing a sound savings, spending, and debt plan and, in my next article, I will give you the simple tools to begin your own personal one no matter where your financial situation is at this time.

The saying goes that the face of poverty is a woman. Make that a divorced or single mother with insufficient child support. On average women experience a dramatic drop in their standard of living after divorce while a man's standard of living improves significantly.

Why the disparity?

First of all, because there is no financial value assigned to the time we tend to our children, this value is not computed in divorce agreements. There is no accounting for the opportunity cost of lost salary and career growth for the hours spent taking care of a child. Also, child support guidelines, which are determined state by state, are not intended to cover all costs associated with raising a child and often fall far short. They take into account the cost of food, housing, clothing, and some healthcare expenses. But they do not cover a range of other expenses from after school activities like music lessons or sport lessons to vacations, or restaurant meals to school supplies. These expenses rise significantly as children get older.

The sad truth is that if a caregiver mother suffers financially, so does her child. And the human story behind this financial story is heart wrenching. One of my clients described how her child went from a comfortable standard of living to below the poverty line virtually overnight. The child was afraid to tell her that he'd outgrown his sneakers. Another said her daughter declined invitations to go to the movies with her friends because she didn't want to have to ask for movie money. In both cases, the father was making over $200,000 per year!

So how can you make ends meet if child support payments are insufficient?

From Julie Savard: I'm recently divorced and I have two children. Money is very tight; I'm trying to make ends meet and build a better life for us, but it's hard right now. That's okay; things will get better. But I want to continue having a "normal" life for my kids. What's the best way to spend a little on them without breaking my budget and allow them their usual activities or treats? I feel like I'm spending when I need to save, but I don't want my kids to feel like we have to scrimp!

Craig Hyldahl writes:

Hi Julie,

Having to lower one's normal spending post-divorce is tough enough for an adult; reducing spending on the kids is even more difficult — they don't understand why they can't do their normal activities, and you struggle with guilt and frustration.

How do you stretch limited funds?

Not to worry! Several of our clients have come up with ingenious ideas that were very inexpensive that their kids loved; here are a few (along with one of my own):

Trips to Washington DC: I don't know where you live, but visiting our nation's capital can be incredibly exciting and many of the museums are free. Click here for more.

Shore/Lake Day Trips: pack a lunch and off you go!

Baseball Games: I know a mom who could no longer afford to take her kids to professional baseball games. Instead of giving up on the idea, she found a local minor league team where tickets are very inexpensive and "the between innings contests" are a highlight for her boys.

Local library/Town Hall: Look at the postings and newsletters for free/discounted events.

Hiking Trip: My business partner swears by this-lots of sightseeing and picture taking to a local preserve.

From Naomi Dunne: When you're first on your own after a split, the financial elements can be completely overwhelming. It seems like every expert has a different idea of what we should be doing with our money, but right after a divorce is not the time when you've got cash to spare. I have student loans, a very small amount of credit card debt, no car payment, no mortgage payment — I rent — and no money saved for emergency funds or retirement, let alone my kids' education. Where do I put my cash first?

Sanyika Calloway Boyce writes:

Naomi, I proud of you for taking a proactive step with getting your finances in order post-divorce and more importantly recognizing that you need to find a solution that works for your unique situation.

While it might feel like you've"lost time" just remember that it is never too early-or too late-to take control of your finances so good for you for taking this necessary step.

I suggest you get a handle on your finances in 4 steps. The very first thing I'll stress is that you cannot afford NOT to save, because as women we'll likely live an average of 9 years longer than men and we need more saved to support our lifestyle — longer.

1. Open and maintain a saving account solely in your name, this is just a smart thing for every woman to do regardless of your martial status. Make a personal commitment to always keep at least $100 in the account as a foundation you can begin to build upon.

2. Commit to saving at least 5 percent (preferably 10) of everything you earn. It might not seem like you have any money to do this but start small by exercising your saving muscle with coins.

Here's what you do:

A. Get a coin holder (ideally a jar that's not easy to stick your hand into!)

B. Commit to dump all of your coins in the jar at the end of the day

From Elaina Goodman: Even though I'm constantly struggling, I don't want my kids to grow up with a scarcity mentality, so we talk a lot about helping people with less and we always donate when we can. When I can't afford to buy/do something, I approach it in terms of already having plenty and not needing more. When my gas was turned off for lack of payment, I explained it as the heater was broken and we'd have to get someone out to repair it. What else can I do to ensure they don't take on the stress/worry/fear of having too little resources?

Maryann Kelly writes:

Elaina, your concern goes to the heart of the American family and you are not alone in your balancing act of wanting to live abundantly while having the constraints of a budget. I believe children under age 12 cannot appropriately grasp household financial management issues, and keeping then in the dark when there are problems is best. The potential stress and worry would be difficult for them to process.

However, once in their early teens, children can understand and appreciate the truth about the financial matters in their own household. It can be presented in a truthful, matter of fact, yet hopeful and abundant manner. A child can be reassured that the family unit is safe and able to maintain a place to live, but that mom is rebuilding her savings safety net in order to create options for the family in the future.

This is where a Family Mission Statement written and posted on the wall can come in handy. The Mission Statement can list their commitment to education, helping the less fortunate, saving for the future and not taking on debt or living beyond their means. The family can discuss times when going into debt is a good thing (like going to college, buying a home, or even buying a car to get to work in). But debt incurred simply to have more clothes or electronics is not something they believe in as a family.

One of my favorite clients recently said to me, "You have to have fabulous hair in your forties". She certainly does, and it looks great. I have nice hair too when I color it, trim it regularly, and blow-dry it professionally. The whole process takes an entire Saturday morning and, in Los Angeles, costs about $200 plus tip. I have so much gray that I was running to the salon every 3 to 4 weeks, and the costs were mounting. Of course there are also the manicures, pedicures, occasional facials, and much needed botox treatments.

Well, I had to find a breakthrough, and I did...at my local beauty school. I have to admit, my mom always went to the local beauty school in Long island when we were growing up. I actually think the schools have gotten even better. I introduced myself to the head of the school. She is an experienced hairdresser with beautiful hair and great color. I asked for an advanced student and for her oversight with mixing the color. Once we found the right mix for me, she wrote it down for future visits and she promised to oversee my future visits. The cuts have been a little more inconsistent, but the blow dry always looks great. Then again, many of my $200 haircuts were inconsistent too. A great blow-dry can make most hair look fabulous. The whole treatment: $20...and that is in Los Angeles.