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What's The Price Tag For Being A Stay-At-Home Wife?
Posted by Maryann Kelly on Mon, 03/31/2008 - 8:02am
When faced with divorce, how does a traditional stay-at-home wife assess her financial value? And more importantly, will the courts agree? The short answer to this question is that a good mother and devoted wife is a priceless blessing in any family. There is just no amount of money that can be attached to this role.
While each state has different laws on divorce, generally speaking I believe the courts are fairly sympathetic to the stay-at-home wife and mom when a marriage commitment fails. They understand this woman has often sacrificed advanced education and work experience to be head of the household.
My main concern is a much more dire concern than the courts not being supportive. I think the biggest risk to these women is the integrity and earning capacity of their former spouses.
As a financial professional, I see men being downsized quite frequently. Often, men going through divorce are having a mid-life crisis and face job problems, health problems, and other issues that effect their ability to perform in the workplace. Moreover, they might begin spending lavishly on women and begin hiding money. I have also seen many who, when faced with a large settlement, quit their job and take a long sabbatical rather than pay the alimony. That really scares me for women who rely on these men to pay their rent and feed their children.
A man’s prime earning years are often from 35–55, and for many it can become difficult to compete with younger co-workers willing to do his job for half of the salary. So even if the courts say you are to get $6000 a month if he gets fired or downsized, that settlement will be reduced until he gets another high paying job. That could take years if he is even able to get another big corporate job.
Truth be told, I trust the divorce lawyers to do a good job at getting the most they can for their clients. What they cannot do as readily is give their client a reality check. Discussing unpleasant possibilities with someone who pays you a lot of money is not something a professional likes to do. Recently, a client transferred out a large sum of money to lend her boyfriend. I was very upset and against it and told her so. She of course did not change her mind and our relationship is strained as a result. For an attorney to tell you that your husband could try to hide money from you, lose his job, or otherwise fail to pay the alimony you paid so much to fight for is very difficult for many attorneys because they need to get through one thing at a time.
In summary, your value as a devoted wife and mother is priceless and deserves compensation — and the courts know that. But the fact is that life is not fair, and your ex may not be able to pay what you deserve. Use your attorney to get what you can but know that the best approach will include a sound game of reeducation, reentry into the work force, and a positive attitude that you are capable of great things.
My client is a sweet housewife who decided to go back to work after her kids started school and took her real estate exam. She has never made less than $150,000, and her husband was recently let go and they rely on her income. You can do it!!
While each state has different laws on divorce, generally speaking I believe the courts are fairly sympathetic to the stay-at-home wife and mom when a marriage commitment fails. They understand this woman has often sacrificed advanced education and work experience to be head of the household.
My main concern is a much more dire concern than the courts not being supportive. I think the biggest risk to these women is the integrity and earning capacity of their former spouses.
As a financial professional, I see men being downsized quite frequently. Often, men going through divorce are having a mid-life crisis and face job problems, health problems, and other issues that effect their ability to perform in the workplace. Moreover, they might begin spending lavishly on women and begin hiding money. I have also seen many who, when faced with a large settlement, quit their job and take a long sabbatical rather than pay the alimony. That really scares me for women who rely on these men to pay their rent and feed their children.
A man’s prime earning years are often from 35–55, and for many it can become difficult to compete with younger co-workers willing to do his job for half of the salary. So even if the courts say you are to get $6000 a month if he gets fired or downsized, that settlement will be reduced until he gets another high paying job. That could take years if he is even able to get another big corporate job.
Truth be told, I trust the divorce lawyers to do a good job at getting the most they can for their clients. What they cannot do as readily is give their client a reality check. Discussing unpleasant possibilities with someone who pays you a lot of money is not something a professional likes to do. Recently, a client transferred out a large sum of money to lend her boyfriend. I was very upset and against it and told her so. She of course did not change her mind and our relationship is strained as a result. For an attorney to tell you that your husband could try to hide money from you, lose his job, or otherwise fail to pay the alimony you paid so much to fight for is very difficult for many attorneys because they need to get through one thing at a time.
In summary, your value as a devoted wife and mother is priceless and deserves compensation — and the courts know that. But the fact is that life is not fair, and your ex may not be able to pay what you deserve. Use your attorney to get what you can but know that the best approach will include a sound game of reeducation, reentry into the work force, and a positive attitude that you are capable of great things.
My client is a sweet housewife who decided to go back to work after her kids started school and took her real estate exam. She has never made less than $150,000, and her husband was recently let go and they rely on her income. You can do it!!
