7 Signs Your Husband is Cheating

my boyfriend does not have any affection for me,we once had sex last year on august,does this mean he is cheating?he has diabetice.

The first sign your husband is cheating is to look at your self. Are you keeping in shape and giving him the most amazing sex he has had? Are you keeping things fresh and continuing to experiment and further your sexual relations? If not, then he is cheating. Look - a super deluxe cheeseburger with all the trimmings, side of fries and a good beer is a really great meal. Guys love that stuff. But a super deluxe cheeseburger with all the trimmings, side of fries and a good beer for breakfast, lunch and dinner, all day, every day, for the rest of your natural life... it gets OLD! So old that even a peanut butter and jelly sandwich looks good - your guy will jump on that in a heartbeat. We won't even talk about what happens if you let yourself go, get fat, get sloppy, plop out a few whining kids, and then a nice, tight, Fillet Mignon happen to fall into your mans lap. He is going to go down on that all day, every day and love it. If he is smart enough to use a variety of reasons - business travel, the guys, the gym, evening with co-workers, etc. and get his own phone and click the little box that says 'erase history when I exit' - you're never gonna suspect a thing. Just keep rolling along fat, dumb and happy! Sorry ladies, it's out there! be prepared.

My husband and I been married a little over year been together off and on since I was 13. He is my first love and lover. When we got back together in July 2009 it was better then ever I moved in with him after being together for 6 months the beatings started 3 months prior I found out he was cheating from a text he got on his phone at 4:30 am "had a great time today miss you baby" I flipped went after him with a knife and he kicked me out Threw me down the stairs mind u I have no where to go no family except a drug addict mother. I went to my mother house that night made sure I wrote the females (allison) # in my phone first I called her the next day she did not even know he had a girl and it turned out I grew up with her so we met up and talked she swore she would nvr speak to him again. That day he called me and asked to talk i agreed he cried and begged and pleaded for me to take him back and I did the beatings got worse he broke my nose with the arm rest of our car he punched and kicked me even chocked me till i almost passed out 7 months I got pregnant he kicked me out and told me if i dont abort it im nvr coming back so I did when I got bak almost 2 weeks later his son told me that his father had another "mommy" around him so I went on Facebook and pulled up allisons page he said thats her. When He got home i flipped and packed my bags he took me by my hair and dragged me out side in the freezing cold 20 degrees out with no jacket i stayed outside for 2 hours before he let me come back in he promised he would change. He did for a year he didnt hit me cheat on me it was perfect. I started working again I was the happiest i ever been. One day on my day off i went on the PS3 to go on facebook since my laptop had a virus i seen a email i nvr seen before so out of curiosity i put the Password he used for everything n it worked I found messages between him and allison saying is she at work so i can come over n fuk u baby i called the bitch she didnt answer so i went to her house n waited 5 hours for her to come out n told her if she ever talks to him again i will cut her into little pieces and dump her in the hudson river. When i got home he was waiting n beat the crap out of me he never talked to her again. N he never cheated again that I know of. I got pregant again in feb. This year i miscarried at 15 weeks and then i got pregnant again and miscarried last week he supported me and helpped me the whole time. Until I went out this new years eve and one of our friends cousins told me she was fuking him and showed me messages between them. She didnt know i was with him still he told her he left me and since he was away wit his family i had to wait 2 days for him to get home he swear he didnt fuk her but i know he did but i have know were to go and my 17 year old brother lives with me now Im stuck. So i decided im going back to school and getting agood job to leave him im only 21 years old I have my whole life ahead of me and im sick of him. I want to throw up when I look at him.

Well I guess I'm the monster that destroys hearts and families just because my ego is so big I just feel I'm entitled to do so. I’m so self centered I became a serial killer of the heart. Let me let you guys in my particular circumstances. When I got married I did because I loved the woman I married, we had a wonderful beginning but right away we found out that she had a mental condition that placed me as the center of her aggressions. We found she is rapid cycling bi-polar and molested by her father from a very early age and this compounded by the fact that we were trying to integrate two families with two different ethnical backgrounds. She is white from Wisconsin and has two children from her first marriage and I’m Latino from Puerto Rico with also two children that I’m raising on my own. I know it sounds racist but think, her kids wanted mac & cheese at the same time that mime that mine wanted arroz con pollo. We have been somehow successful in the integration of the family, not completely. She still has not really accepted my younger son from my first marriage who is the one most affected in my first marriage. My first wife molested him. The both of us especially me have been the receptors of her frustration and her aggression over the years. There have been beautiful moments too but it always goes back to the arguments. She is cold with me, she tells me she loves me but there are no expressions of affection, no playing until I start and has to be me only the one that starts. We have discussed this issue and she says that she can’t for some reason initiate any kind of play with me even after all this time. Then I met my mistress. She is beautiful, loving, very hard working woman. I’m not blind I also see her handicaps. She didn’t finish her education, been married once, has been an exotic dancer in the past, has used drugs in the past and lost her four year old daughter in a car accident. She also says she loves me but she tells me she will do whatever she has to do to change her life and be with me. To my surprise I found she is. She is very loving as I mentioned, I have forgotten how it feels when she plays with my ears or she kisses me for no reason, or suddenly I feel her warm hands coming from behind me and hugging me. Sometimes we play just like teenagers. Imagine at my age, I’m 49 and I’m playing around with this beautiful blond like 2 teenagers in love. It is very hard, knowing that all I’m going to get out of my wife is an argument, not to run to my beautiful angel’s arms and get lost in her sweet love. I rather be with my wife. I know that if I end with my mistress her past is going to bother me enough to cause us problems. I rather be with the woman I married. I love her and I want to be able to love and play with her just as we did at the start of our relationship. I wish she would come back to me but I think that at this point she’s too far gone and I’m going to be force to start over with somebody else. Do you guys think I’m a monster?

My husband works as a bus driver/trainer for our school district. He's a great trainer and no one would ever know he is narcissistic sociopath. He lures people with his charm, particularly the ladies, and excellent work ethic at "work," not home. January of 2011 a new "feed" came for training. He immediately took a shine to her. She's reasonably attractive and acts nice. She is 50. He is 66. I had a gut feeling that he was intrigued by her, but put it out of my mind. I never expected they'd end up having a full blown affair. He started first by stroking her ego and emailing her at first with encouragement about her upcoming road test. She failed twice. He wrote "Show them how to do it." It wasn't until Memorial Day weekend that I realized that they had become VERY close. He seemed so preoccupied with writing on his Ipad and playing CDS and reading a Kindle she had loaned him. I thought it rather odd that he had all this stuff she has given him. The Kindle, particularly seemed an excessive loan. All weekend long he wrote. When he went back to work I actually picked up his Ipad and looked at his e-mails. I had never touched the Ipad and absolutely never would have read his mail. I was in shock. He had written her 45 long well thought out emails within a 21 day period. He wrote her 1st thing in the morning 4am, sometimes in the middle of the night and last thing before bed. They made references to conversations they must have had in between runs when they'd go for walks everyday while waiting for the kids. He referred to himself as "a bull in a china shop and hope I didn't break the crockery." I still don't know what that was in reference to. They wrote about the books they were reading and music he had loaned/given her. He told her she was by far the most intelligent person at the bus garage, "a true intellectual." I later found in writing her and talking with her on the phone, she not only couldn't spell, she was dumb as a post. In the e-mails there was a lot of stroking and talks about having a glass of wine at sunset while listening to Ives (a CD he had given her) and "sexy" (lol) Barbara Bonney. She apologized for keeping the music so long. She even said,"Sigh." I guess she was really into it. Though boring and tedious to get through their writing, it was clear they were beyond the "just friends" stage and clearly involved in an "emotional affair." Emotional affairs: I, his wife was unaware of their involvement; they shared intimate thoughts, were excessive in their communications. Bottom line he thought about her 24/7. Meanwhile, I'm left out in the cold. He paid no attention to me-just her. The day after I read all of these e-mails, I came home to yet another one. In this one she invites him out with friends to the Cafe Lena. It was open mic night. First of all, my husband does not go out. He's a book worm and after a day's work he typically eats and sits in his recliner, which he also sleeps in. When I read that one, where she states: "After all it is a public venue." I started shaking uncontrollably. I started drinking and crying and called one of my friends. Nothing would calm me. This bitch was coming on to my husband. When he got home he got mad at me for reading the e-mails and brushed his teeth, changed his shirt and left. The dog and I were standing at the hood of his car pleading with him not to go. He left. I got drunker and even more desperate. He eventually, came home. After all it was a weeknight and he gets up at 4am. I asked him if he had relations with her (not my exact words.) I was angry and very hurt. I had greeted him on the outside patio. He slapped my face on both cheeks very gently. I followed him in, when he slammed the door with all his might on my three middle fingers. They immediately turned black and took 4 months to heal. I called 911 and the town of Stillwater cops told him if he did anything like that to me again they would arrest him. They gave me the option to press charges, but I declined. I was concerned he'd lose his job. I was taken by ambulance to the ER for treatment and took a cab home. I drank and cried and couldn't eat all of June. He did not comfort me or reassure me that he loved me. There was no apology, no empathy, a true sign of a narcissist. I was devastated. I felt as if my life was over. He had spent 5 months of every waking moment thinking about her. I called her on June 7th. I asked: "What's with the e-mails to my husband? In a breathy voice she said," Oh I'm so sorry." She went on they were "just" friends. Funny, I said he never mentioned you except when you came on board at work. He had told her I was disabled. I have weakness in my lower legs and use a walker just for long hallways like at the "Y" and restaurants, but otherwise get around just fine. My balance is affected. People tell me I am a beautiful woman, but needing the walker makes me feel sad. On June 11th, Lawrence, my husband came up to my loft to report that Julie, the other woman, told him I had called her. He went on out of respect to me, she agreed not to talk or e-mail him anymore and he said he'd comply with my wishes, although he referred to the e-mails as "inconsequential." June 6th was our 25th wedding anniversary;we did not celebrate. He gave me a card, just signed "love, Lawrence." We ordered pizza to be delivered. That was it. I continued to stay in bed, crying, calling my sisters, my friends. finally on the June 29th, I decided to go to detox . I really didn't want to die, but wanted clarity on the situation. I would later learn that during our anniversary month he wrote her on the apple e-mail that he never wanted her to feel uncomfortable and how grateful he was to her for making his dismal life a bit brighter and he owes her the utmost respect and what a good, generous person she is. And how much he LOVED their walks and talks. All this dribble. was followed by a proposal to open a secret G-mail account to see how their friendship would unfold. I found this e-mail November 12, but it was written in June after he agreed they were "done." I would also learn on November 4th when he left the secret g-mail page open that: His words-"Good morning, beautiful, my goddess. I love you. I love to kiss you, lick you and feel your hips thrust toward me when we're making love. Next time you won't be able to walk." I had picked the Ipad up to look up a crossword and found that! I felt as if I tripped over a log and was free falling through the air. I starting breathing as if to have a heart attack. I was shaking. I went up to the loft, but other than reading "We'll take it one day at a time and why do I think of you when I'm in Price Chopper," I was unable to read anything more. He followed me upstairs. I sat on the Ipad. He said he wouldn't leave till he got it back. He started crying and foaming at the mouth bellowing that he had fallen in love with another woman, but they decided to break up on November 2. He said he's always loved just me and wanted to stay. Confusing. He said they never wanted to hurt anyone. It was a mistake. The physical affair started while I was in the hospital in July and lasted through November. I have nothing to confirm it's over. But, I view a "mistake" as you're at a bachelor party in Vegas, get drunk and have sex with a random person. Jan through November or beyond is not an error but an intentional breach of trust, complete betrayal. Just wrong. We were seeing a psychologist for marriage counseling from August-December; but Lawrence lied about everything. He was there to save the marriage but sort of omitted the part about he was having a sexual affair, maintaining there was no secret email, just maybe a "hello" in the hallway. His body language said it all. He'd sit on his hands, put his hands in his pockets, not say much at all and when he's start a sentence with "we," I thought he meant him and me, but he was referring to Julie and himself. That felt weird and questionable. Right along my gut told me something was wrong. I had gone to A.A. meetings all of July and August. I thought we'd be close again, but he neither professed his love for me, nor did he apologize for the emotional affair and the toll it took. I felt a real disconnect. Those Summer months he was working a the "Y" travel camp. He'd come home everyday around 5pm. I commented:"Wow, they're giving you good hours this year!" In years past if it rained or if the trip was shorter than expected, he'd come home sometimes as early as 3. This Summer when he came home, he would not make eye contact. He looked guilty. But they weren't seeing each other, I thought. Yes, they were. They were meeting at the Spa Park. Doing it in the woods, like animals. Toward the end of Summer August 27, 28, 29 Lawrence went in to the bus garage to train new drivers, usually from 6am til 12or so. On August 30th I needed to have my car inspected. My appointment was at 9am. The check engine light was on. I had a new catalytic converter installed just the year before. Something else was wrong. My mechanic, Byron made an adjustment and asked me if I had an hour just to drive the car, that the light would go out if I drove it. I said sure. That morning Lawrence seemed frantic to get out of the house before me. He said, I know when you have to go someplace you like your space to get ready. Yet, all I would do that day was to wash my face, brush my teeth, apply a little makeup and dress quite casually. He said he was going to get his change cashed in for paper money, go to the book store and get me a birthday present. I saw a thermos on the table. "What's that for?" He replied: "Oh, yes, um, I might go over to work to straighten some files out." So, as the mechanic asked me I drove out to Wilton, the mall, through town. Only a half-hour had passed. I decided to drive to Lawrence's work. With the car still running I called him on my cell from his parking lot. He comes all smiles chatting with another guy. There were maybe 5 cars in the lot. Within seconds I see a woman, hair blown out, nice clothes, smiling, self-assured exiting a different door. I asked him. "Is that her? Is that Julie Hill?" "Who, he says?" "That woman walking toward us," I replied. I backed my car up and looked at her like an eagle ready to pounce. She gave me a wave thinking I was polite to give her space to approach her car. Lawrence stood by his car, dumbfounded, guilty, frozen. She did not acknowledge him in any way. Usually co-workers will say:"See ya Monday." At the top of my lungs I yelled "You F...... whore!" She ignored me, but her car window was up. I drove up next to him and said:" You louse. That's what the big hurry was about-meeting her!" He answered:" Where do you think she's going over and over again, " which I thought was a rather odd question, totally illogical. "She's going to work!," he said. My concern was they met at the garage and spent some "quality time" in the training, which has blinds and a locking door. Narcissists often say things that have no relevance to the subject. It's hard to explain, unless you live with one. I knew when I saw her that day that they were carrying on. It was not over. I relapsed into drinking briefly. I was so hurt. He tried to cajole me into focusing on my birthday and how we were going to celebrate. Right. He cashed in his change and bought himself a book. It wasn't until my actual birthday Sept 2 that he bought my gift. Lawrence is really into fashion. He has bought me outfits on Christmas and sometimes birthdays. I don't know how he does it, but during the 25 years we've been married, whatever he buys me fits perfectly. The clothing he bought that day not did not fit. They were things I would never wear: baggy khakis with huge space for thighs and hips and way too long. I am petite. These clothes and I told him were for her or should be. They certainly weren't bought with me in mind. Needless to say, they went back to the store. So although I did not officially know of their affair until November 4, I certainly knew through intuition. It's funny the e-mail proposing the secret g-mail account just popped up on the Ipad, the mechanic just happened to require I drive that hour, when I would see they were to rendezvous that day and the I found the details, he had left the page open by mistake. I believe God has guided me. How else could I have been at the right place at the right time? It's been Hellish. I cry everyday because of the betrayal. They said they'd stop, but that unfaithful bastard more or less said:" Oh my wife doesn't matter. Let's go, baby!" So humiliating, so insulting, so low. And, then to read the gory details of him touching and licking her and loving her is an image hard to shake. I can't bare the thought. When I cry or bring it up, he says:"Are you still going on about that?" It as if nothing happened. Just business as usual. He hit me in the head for crying and saying: How could you do this to me. You ruined my life!" There's a temporary restraining order against him that he cannot hit, intimidate, threaten, etc. It's through family court. He already has said he will tell the judge I am an abusive drunk, which is untrue. 6 of the months they were fooling around, I did not drink, nor do I now. He said he will hire the most expensive accountants and lawyers, so I will live poverty. I asked:"Why." He smiled: "Out of spite." I contacted her husband. He and I discovered everything around the same time with the same conclusions, Although he runs a car insurance agency, he has become one of my husband's trainees. I asked him why would he want to work there? He said to keep an eye on them. I was flabbergasted at his perseverance to control. My husband says he's a jerk, but I think Rich is a descent guy based on conversations we've had. At some point during the affair, Rich had Lawrence come over to the agency to request that he knock it off. Lawrence said he'd try. I asked Lawrence how can you look the guy in the eye. Don't you feel uncomfortable. He said, "No." My guess is he thinks he'd be better for Julie than her dedicated husband of 27 years. Wow. Divorce is brought up everyday here. He does not want to support me, but because of my age, inability to work and length of marriage, by law he is obligated to give me full permanent spousal support. Divorce would financially destroy us. I can never feel the same for him. The love I felt is dead. Betrayal, lies and images are hard to shake and no attempt at repair has been broached on his behalf. I am so tired, sad, humiliated although I did nothing wrong. It bothers me she thinks she's got it over me, so yes, my pride is hurt. I feel sorry for anyone who has suffered as I have. It takes the joy. It takes the trust. It takes your happiness. I only hope in time, I'll be able to start living again. I need time, which Lawrence seems confused about. He's "so over it.? I should be. God, he's weird. Peace be with all of you.

It could be your fault. 1. -Rejecting his efforts to make you happy- Husbands and wives bring different strengths and desires to marriage. For women, feeling cherished and desired is vital. For a man, respect and sex are of utmost importance. Men also have a powerful drive to make their wives happy -- it contributes to their feeling of success. You might think that your husband is the exception -- that he doesn't care about delighting you -- but he may just be discouraged because he doesn't feel that he can please you. You have the power to transform your relationship by becoming pleasable, which means showing appreciation for his efforts instead of rejecting or dismissing them -- and by extension, him. When you reject his efforts because they aren't what you had in mind (e.g., a present that isn't what you want, cleaning that's not to your standards, or a compliment you don't agree with), there's nothing he can do to improve the situation, but there is something powerful you can do: receive graciously. Remedy: Try an experiment for the next two weeks: However small or imperfect his efforts, receive what your husband offers when he is trying to please or help you. Thank him for his thoughtfulness. Notice how quickly this creates more intimacy as you practice the skill of receiving graciously. 2. -Taking the same approach at home as you do at work- We women can create a gratifying culture of intimacy, if we know how. If all we've ever been taught is how to get ahead in school and career, but not how to foster intimacy, it's pretty hard to change hats when the work day is done and we want a loving, supportive home. At work we have to manage projects and staff, move the bottom line and get that promotion. At home the goals are different; we want to feel appreciated and wanted and get more help around the house. But if you treat your husband like an employee, he will rebel. Respecting your husband by saying what you want instead of telling him what to do gives him the opportunity to make you happy in a way that no amount of managing ever will. Remedy: For two weeks say what you want, but not what he should do or how he should do it. Be patient and allow him to find his own way of pleasing you. Remember, he wants to. Let him, and he will. 3. -Withholding sex- Most men need sex more than women to feel intimate. You are his only source for that vital form of connecting, and when you withhold -- whether to punish or because you're exhausted -- you miss a chance to receive the intimacy that you both crave. Remedy: Over the next two weeks as you start experiencing more intimacy, consider making yourself available for sex at least once a week in support of your mutual goal of connecting. 4. -Initiating divorce when the problem isn't insurmountable- Women initiate between 66% and 90% of all divorces. You might think that's because men do things to make marriage untenable -- like cheat or hit them -- but I hear about women divorcing because he didn't help with the baby, he was emotionally unavailable, or because they grew apart. Countless women tell me they divorced because their husbands weren't capable of meeting their needs. When the women I work with learn intimacy skills, it changes the way they see a previous marriage. Some women tell me that they realize they were married to a good guy, but divorced because they lacked the skills to have a happy relationship. Sometimes it causes them enormous grief. It is heartbreaking to see marriages end because of a simple lack of skills. It's no different than seeing someone try to drive a car without a single lesson: A crash is inevitable, but it's preventable. Remedy: Consider taking divorce off the table just for the next two weeks, keeping in mind that intimacy needs safety to thrive. In my experience, any woman who has a good guy can bring her marriage back from the brink of divorce and transform it into a happy, loving relationship by practicing the intimacy skills. You can do the same. 5. -Waiting for him to improve- You might wonder why there's no article for men explaining what they can do to improve their marriages. Even if there was, you couldn't make your husband read it or do what it says. You can change yourself, and he will respond to you differently. Remedy: Instead of pleading, criticizing or demanding that your husband change, try the remedies above for two weeks. To learn how, get the free 17-page e-book Six Lessons for Lasting Love at LauraDoyle.org If you want peace in your marriage, then let it begin with you.

See, I've just read this and it describes my wife's behaviour to a tee. Does this mean she's having an affair?

Hey i just would like someone honest opinion please!! I am 23 years old my fiance is 25, we have been together since i was 15, we make 8 years weve been together in april 2013, he was a vigin when i met him and i took his virginity. We have a 3 year old daughter together. We also have been living together for almost 4 years now! And i find our sex life is wonderdul!! Well: I just found out he had sex with a girl hes been having as a friend since we met. And yes she knew we were together, shes older then me like in her late 30s, this happened in 2010, and im just finding out about it now through an old phone he had and never deleted the messages, i confronted him about it and he told me that they did try an have sex but she couldnt get it hard and that is was his worst mistake he ever made in his life!! I love this man with everything i have but it broke my heart soo bad to find this out and being that he kept this from me for over 2 years!! Im really lost and confused. could this have been that he was just curious cuz hes never slept with anyone else before(r tried to) or should i be worried that hell cheat on me agian? He is the only person ive ever really truely loved!! And he apologizes everyday for hurting me like he did and that he feels horrible!!, I wana fogive him i really doo But my heart is still soo broken and i cant stop thinkn about him cheating on me esp when i know the women:/ and i really dont know what to do Someone please help me and give me advise please I just want my relationship back like it was before all this has happened:(

I've been married for 9 years and as we had argue about him txt co-workers in the past. Now I found out my husband has been text with a female co-worker for days non stop and sending pic messages and talking for hours when I'm not home. I confronted him and yet he said it was nothing,it didn't ment anything and that they are just friends. I call her and she flatly denied been her number and txt my husband as I called her by her name. It turns out that it was her and now I don't know if I should believe my husband or to go with my gut feeling. I don't know what they talked about as my husband can't seem to remeber what their conversations were about. what can I do?

I found out my husband has been cheating three months ago. He left his email account open on my laptop at the hospital, the day after I gave birth to our son and he got an instant message from a woman saying "hey sexy, you at work yet? Message me back I need your smex". Since then, I have found five of his profiles on online adult datimg websites, 3 email accounts he has kept hidden from me, two aliases he goes under, a skype account I didn't know he had and over 150 various women that he has had online affairs with. Some of these women live near us, and he works the night shift alone as a security guard, so I believe he has even had affairs off the computer as well. I have confronted him three times in the last month, but, he denies it, acts shocked that I don't trust him, lies and tells me an ex girlfriend from ten yrs ago created one profile as revenge or he accuses me of creating these accounts to blackmail him or to have a reason to be mad at him. I guess now I know why he would always snap on me and verbally abuse me every couple of months.

I think Somewhere it our fault that cause Spouse Cheating lack of attention,no social life,no time of kids are common problem that cause wife to act against the will.

I first need to say I'm disabled. I didn't start out this way although we both knew at the time we married that I was sick and it would progress. This has taken a huge toll on both of us. Anything I say, no matter how I say it, is criticized by him. He constantly insults me, and gets angry when I try to do anything that isn't in a pity me fashion. He stays up late on the computer, with multiple porn sites that he frequents. And, here it is. He's a closet cross dresser. I also knew this when I married him but believed then that if it was kept between us, it would be ok. WRONG. In the past, I caught him having a flirtatious online thing with another x-dresser. I demanded he stop. He promised he would there were tears...blah fing blah. Last night we got in a huge fight because I was dealing with our son when he apparently already had and I guess he was mad because it was like I went over his head or something. Anyway, I did what I know I shouldn't do. I went on his computer after he left for work this morning. Tons of recent porn sites, a option for "private browsing" open, all his pw for his email and messenger changed, and his own written story about him with a tranny that he just wrote last month. I changed the pw on his computer. Not trying to be vengeful. I just want answers. Am I going overboard here?

I think my dad is cheating. I realised that hes texting more and he never texts. He also said he is going out to tennis often. I picked up his phone (cuz thts what i normally do) and he literally screamed at me. I said i was using it for pictures, he literally followed me to watch me take pictures...... he said he was coming back and i jumped in his text messages because i saw them when i picked up his phone and i scrolled throught see stuff "like babe" and "coming home to you babe" and he also uses the comp. late at night.... WHAT TO DO?!?!?!?! My parents are also pastors :(

I have been married for almost 9 years....I feel that my husband is up to no good! I have had to deal with some text message issues. The problem is that he when I saw the messages I soke to the women and they say the same thing "oh my god it wasn't meant for him". My second problem is he doesn't have the time! He is at work all day and then he comes home. I work shift work so some nights I am not at home but my kids would tell me if he went out. Oh and the women are not even attractive. I am so confused. I feel like he is cheating but I also feel like where could he possibly find the time. Help!!