Sex and Love - Experts and Resources

Monkeys vs Man: Who Is More Sexually Evolved?

Question: I'm very curious to hear why there is such a strong border at the point where one drops ones drawers. Why do you consider that to be the place where there is no turning back? If you look at aboriginal societies, and even at other naked societies like those of primates, obviously there are no drawers there to drop, and yet they manage to have quite evolved sexual societies, and they raise children who also grow up to understand sexuality in an intelligent way. So why is it so different for us?

Maryanne's Answer: This question of the line of demarcation is an important one, and to understand why dropping drawers is such an important boundary, we have to compare our culture to the ones of naked societies. Ted Bundy once said that he believed that violence against women would continue for as long as pornography exists in our society. There is a dehumanizing element in our media that makes us think of each other as objects, or worse, as predators and prey. This may explain why aboriginal and primate societies are more sexually evolved than we are — they are not exposed to these victimizing elements.

How to Heal a Relationship After an Affair

Ten steps to forgive, apologize and rebuild trust after infidelity

Cheating can unleash devastating consequeces on a couple and is oft-cited as the ultimate deal breaker, beating out both emotional unavailability and physical abuse. Yet over half of married couples decide to weather the damage together rather than split up. Unfortunately, the healing process doesn't happen overnight, and even the most committed couples can get waylaid by hurt feelings, paralyzing guilt, and resentment. YourTango spoke with Dr. Janis A. Spring, clinical psychologist and author of After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful and How Can I Forgive You? The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To on the ten crucial steps a couple must take before emerging stronger than ever.

10 Tips for Surviving Valentine's Day as a Divorced Woman

Here it comes... Hallmark's nod to love. Valentine's Day is hard enough when you're coupled — talk about pressure! — but when you're going through a divorce or somewhere on the other side of a divorce, it's a sneak peek into hell. How to survive it? Here are some dos and don'ts:

Do make sure you're prepared. When asked what your plans are, have a bulletproof response or practice looking evasive in front of the mirror for a few days ahead of time. Have an answer ready for the well meaning people who want to know how you're handling your first Valentine's Day alone.

Don't get too dressed up if you're not looking to field questions. You think that looking like a knockout on V Day is going to make you feel like a million bucks. It's actually going to make you smack the fourth person who asks you what your big plans are for the night.

Do read a book. May I suggest one in which the main characters fall in love and promptly drop dead? Shakespeare made a fortune off of this, and his biggest fans were most likely divorced women.