Resource Articles

Etiquette Tips For Parent Visitation

When eight-year-old Michael learned his parents were splitting, his first question was, "Where will I live and does that mean I won't get to see Daddy?"

Michael knew a number of kids whose parents were divorced and, already at his tender age, he was aware of the difficulties. One classmate coincidentally named Cloud floated nebulously between the residences of each parent on alternate weeks, often forgetting which school bus to take or where he'd left his homework.

Like most divorcing couples, Michael's had worked out a "reasonable visitation" schedule with their lawyers. Reasonable visitation was considered twice-a-month weekend overnight stays and one mid-week visit with dad. The exact times were specified for the beginning and end of each contact.

How to Get Help for Victims of Domestic Abuse

Domestic abuse does not have to be physical to be experienced as abuse. Abuse can include belittling a woman, keeping her on a very tight leash financially, limiting her movements outside of the house, filling the house with fear. A Canadian study found that 79 percent of marriages with serious abuse end in divorce.

The first step in dealing with abuse is recognizing it. But action must be taken. Here are some sources of information:

• National Domestic Abuse Hotline

• Domestic Abuse Awareness Handbook

• State Coalition List

• Domestic Abuse Shelters

• Domestic Abuse Victims Rights

• Women's Law.org

Escaping Domestic Abuse:

6 Mistakes to Avoid in the Divorce Settlement Process

Maintaining your financial security is one of your most important considerations when faced with divorce. Your main concern should be negotiating the best possible settlement agreement — one you know you can live with after the ink dries on your divorce decree.

There are many steps you can take to ensure you will come through the process financially secure. Below is a list of some commonly made mistakes when negotiating a divorce settlement — make sure you don't fall victim to them!

1. Never agree to a termination date for spousal support or alimony if the law does not require it. Make sure the wording in your divorce decree states that this issue has to be revisited in court before payments can stop. You may continue to need financial assistance from your ex-spouse past a date in your decree. You want to have the option of arguing against modification of support in court.

5 Key Rules to a Successful Trial Separation

Separation between couples is often misunderstood due to the lack of guidelines and the ease with which it can be carried out. It is fraught with many pitfalls if certain clear objectives are not laid down or ultimately met. The most basic goal of any separation is to give the couple space and time in their relationship to decide on future action, particularly in saving the marriage etc., without undue influence from each other. However, couples often get distracted and confused and lose sight of their goal and their trial separation ends in divorce.

Furthermore, once separated, some people will see the break as a license to look and opportunity for them to start new relationships, which then complicate the situation and make finding a solution to the marital problems much harder.

In order to make a trial separation successful a couple should agree to five key rules:

Reclaim Your Personal Power After Divorce

Giving away our power and authority is something we learn early in life. Milestones in our life, including divorce, offer an excellent opportunity to reclaim it.

When I was asked to write for Firstwivesworld, I was excited to connect with you and share my passion — helping you create the financial success, the fun, freedom, and fulfillment you desire.

While I have helped tens of thousands of people do this, and have the professional credentials to do so, claiming my own authority is my most important qualification. And as necessary as it has been for helping me to create my life, finding and owning your authority will help you create yours.

It All Began On An Elevator

One of my most crucial life lessons began innocently enough in an elevator with a close friend when I was in my late twenties. The door to the elevator had closed and we weren't moving. Elaine said to me, "You didn't press the button." I nodded, mumbled, and pressed the button.

Six Ways to Help Kids Adjust to a Step-Parent

I recently read a book by Sue Miller called Lost in the Forest that focuses the lens on the way remarriage affects kids.

In a nutshell, Eva is the divorced mother of two little girls who grapple with their allegiance to their two fathers when she remarries. Daisy, the younger daughter, has difficulty articulating her feelings. John, her stepfather is able to draw her out. He is sensitive, caring. When he asks: "How is your life different from the way you would have liked it to be?" Daisy did not have to think about her answer.

She told John she wished her parents hadn't gotten divorced and that they still lived in the house up in the hills. Then, she added, ‘But then I wouldn't have you..."

To Daisy's way of thinking, stepdad the new improved version of her biological father, who tries hard to be a good dad, but lacks stability. Not only is John there for her, he makes her mother happy and he can provide the family with the comforts they've lacked.

Do Some Thinking Before Filing for Divorce

Are you thinking about divorce? The decision to divorce is critical, with consequences that can last a lifetime. It is a step that should be thoroughly thought out before taken.

Below are questions you should ask yourself before making the decision to divorce.

Is there still an emotional connection?

Have your feelings for your husband faded or are you frustrated over marital problems that seem insurmountable? If there are still feelings of love, you should work on the marriage before deciding to divorce. Don't allow feelings of frustration to cause you to make a choice you will later regret. If there is love left, seeking to solve problems with a marriage counselor could put the brakes on a divorce you didn't want in the first place.

Is your desire to divorce based on an emotional reaction or true self-awareness?

Creating Context for Success in The Upcoming New Year

7 tips for keeping New Years Resolutions

We all use the ritual of creating New Year's resolutions in different ways.  For some of us, it's a reality check of our habits and lifestyle, a way to kick ourselves into gear; for others, it can be a cathartic way to let go of things that have become superfluous and inconsequential.

Do you remember the resolutions you set this time last year?  I remember that mine were to slow down and take life less seriously, and to try to be less judgmental.  These things weren't easy for me to tackle, being the hyper-vigilant person that I often am.

Statistics show that a mere 40% of people who make resolutions end up reaching their goals.  That number may seem depressingly low, but armed with the right helpful tips, you can become part of that 40%, too!  

With that, here are seven tips to help you keep the New Years resolutions you set this year:

10 Must-See Christmas Light Displays

Americans may penny-pinch in other areas this season, but Christmas means seeing the light — and for some, the more the merrier. Come December, many families take their competitive spirit to new heights, because if there were an Olympics for holiday lights, we’d take the gold.

For example, in Anchorage, Alaska, the Lorangers shine 20,000 bulbs on a homemade Santa fishing from a pool of lights. At the Wills’ home in Mendota Falls, Minnesota, some 150 candy canes light up the exterior. A thousand miles west in Tuscon, Arizona, cacti sparkle. Down in Marble Falls, Texas, an electrified twirling lariat spells out Merry Christmas Y’All.

According to David Seidman, author of Holiday Lights!, Christmas lights began as a winter solstice ritual. When the nights grew long and bitter cold, people would bring in evergreens and burn slabs of wood. Eventually, this became the Yule log, and candle-lit trees soon followed.