Experts and Resources

Divorce can be overwhelming, confusing, emotionally wrought and downright terrifying, with so much to consider and too much to do. We know having the right information at the right time is critical to you, so we've organized all of our resource content into a simple directory to the left to provide you quick, easy access to all the tools you need to make informed and powerful choices.

Survive the Unwritten Rules of Divorce Cases

Posted to by Cathy Meyer on Fri, 06/25/2010 - 8:00am

I've recently posted about unwritten rules that judges and lawyers follow. Unwritten rules that have more to do with the outcome of a divorce case than the written rules of civil procedure. It's imperative that women learn how to protect themselves from the chaos these rules can cause.

When you become involved in a divorce, you become a consumer of sorts. You pay a lawyer and expect a high standard of care in return for that payment. You pay court costs and expect the courts to protect your legal interests.

Unlike most businesses that cater consumers, the Family Court System isn't regulated and there are no safeguards in place to make sure we get what we pay for. No one is standing guard at the gate, so to speak. What follows are actions you can take to protect yourself.

Know your rights:

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Divorce Guide to Indiana

A woman's guide to getting a divorce in Indiana

Posted to by First Wives World on Thu, 06/24/2010 - 12:55am

INDIANA DIVORCE LAWS:

The Residency Requirement: The party filing the complaint must have lived in Indiana for six months, and for three months in the county where the petition is filed.

Grounds:
No Fault: Irretrievable breakdown of the marriage.
Fault: Felony conviction; Impotence existing at the time of the marriage; Incurable insanity for at least two years.

Property Division: Indiana is an equitable-distribution “hotchpot” state. This means the court can divide any and all property owned by the parties, however and whenever acquired. Division shall be in a just and reasonable manner, and there is a presumption that equal division is just and reasonable (click the following for an overview and key tips on dividing up property and assets through divorce).

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You Complete You: True Love Lies Within

Part Two of The Inner View

Posted to by Maryanne Comaroto on Wed, 06/23/2010 - 7:33am

I'm big on mantras, and here's one of my favorites: Before having sex, you need to use your HEAD, or else you'll break your HEART.  Notice I said that YOU will break your heart, not someone else.  It seems easy to back up and think before taking the plunge, but when you're near this person who makes your heart flutter and your breathing quicken, it's easy to throw all logic out the window and tell yourself that this other person is the one "causing" the love.  It's easy to confuse a feeling of chemistry with the real deal, but in order to distinguish between the two you have to realize that love happens within you — it's not because of this other person, no matter how much it feels like it's outside of you. When you share your internal love with someone, there is shared energy. If you break up, the shift in energy is painful. How can you avoid this pain?

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How to Establish and Enforce a Budget

Part 2 in a 3-Part Series

Posted to by Maryann Kelly on Tue, 06/22/2010 - 7:34am

 In my first article, I discussed the importance and inevitability of developing and living with a spending plan (budget), savings plan, and debt management plan. Now that we agree we all must have one, let's discuss each one separately and then give you the tools to prepare one for yourself. 

The Spending Plan

This is really actually quite easy because you have to start by listing all of your fixed monthly expenses. Take out a piece of paper now and do that. Include everything you can think of and then total that up. At this point, I have a catch-all for miscellaneous, and that is my average credit card monthly bill. I have to be careful here because many people I know who have a spending problem stop using their credit card, but I use mine for everything because I like to get the miles and I am disciplined enough to pay it off every month.

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Divorce Guide to Wisconsin

A woman's guide to getting a divorce in Wisconsin

Posted to by First Wives World on Sun, 06/20/2010 - 3:55pm

WISCONSIN DIVORCE LAWS:

The Residency Requirement: One of the spouses must have been a resident of Wisconsin for six months and a resident of the county for 30 days immediately prior to filing. If custody of a child is contested, mediation is required. If joint custody is requested, mediation may be required. If the couple has children, parenting education may be required.

Grounds: Both no fault: A joint petition by the spouses alleging this irretrievable breakdown of the marriage; Living separate and apart for one year immediately prior to filing, with no possibility of reconciliation.

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The 5 Best Dating Sites For Divorced Women

Posted to by Erika Moore on Fri, 06/18/2010 - 8:13am

In my view, finding the best dating site has much less to do with being a divorced woman than with avoiding overwhelm and considering factors other than marital history. Here are my picks:

www.match.com: Match is still the biggest site, with the best brand recognition — everybody knows about it, it's where most people start, meaning the biggest pool of available men. Online dating is largely a numbers game — at the beginning, you need a lot of options. Match is easy to use, relatively inexpensive, has great links to advice, and you can access Dr. Phil if you want for $10 extra a month. If you don't find someone in six months, and you follow the site's administrative rules, you get another six months free.

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Granny in the Middle: In-Laws, Divorce & Custody

Whose rights, whose wrongs?

Posted to by Marsha Temlock on Thu, 06/17/2010 - 8:00am

Navigating a divorce can be a bit like preparing for the Olympics in Beijing.

You must not only be psychologically and physically fit to withstand the pressure of the competition. You must also deal with the "pollution." Let's stop for a minute and look at the dirty air that can surround divorce: adversarial in-laws. 

Recently, I talked to a young woman about her horrendous experience taking on a mother-in-law who inserted herself into her son's divorce agreement.

Elaine explained: "My ex and I were seeking joint custody of our five-year-old when Bill's mother named herself an "interested third party"— demanding grandparent visitation privileges. She is a bitter, vindictive person. I knew she would be playing mind games with our daughter when I wasn't around. I also knew Bill would step back and let his mother take over if she was granted legal access.

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