Time Heals

Keith — Levi's friend, the one who told me about the Land Rover — came upstate last weekend and spent a few days with us. It was really great having him around. We didn't really do much of anything. Just hung around the house, cooked, watched TV and played with Adrian.

He was living with Levi and I when I was pregnant, when everything fell apart. He's really the only person I have to talk to that knows everything that went down between Levi and I, and also knows Levi very well — they've been friends for twenty plus years. It's nice to have his perspective on things.

It's always bittersweet to reminisce. We can sit around and laugh like crazy, recounting all of the hysterical things we've done together, all of the good times we all shared. Its fun to get lost in the memories. It's nice. But then the reality of the present sets in and it's almost too much to take.

I've asked myself, "Why?" a thousand times. I guess that's the worst part of it all — the distance.

Time offers a lot of things, and the feelings change — becoming less intense, you learn and hopefully grow. Time offers you a different perspective.

I can look back now and almost pinpoint the moment that my marriage took a turn for the worst. I often wonder why I couldn't see it then. How could I have deluded myself into believing everything was great?

Its thoughts like these that drive you nuts. Its thoughts like these that will fade in time.