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The Rich And Unfaithful
Wealthy people have been known to squirrel away assets in foreign trusts. But asset diversion is no longer a shill game of the rich. Spouses of ordinary means may give interest-free loans to girlfriends as they contemplate divorce. Or business owners may place their mistress on the payroll at extremely high salaries.
There are examples of guys who stop paying the mortgage on jointly-held property and allow the bank to foreclose. Then at the foreclosure sale, the ex will have his parents buy the property back so the ex-wife is cheated out of some of the marital property.
One New York attorney estimated that asset hiding tricks occur in half of all divorces. Suspecting this, women need to have an accountant comb tax records, credit card bills, bank statements and stock reports. The law works against ex-wives who may not have access to all of the financial information. This places them at a great disadvantage.
Business owners may devalue their share of the business but ex-wives may not be able to prove otherwise. It's clear that divorce courts favor the more powerful spouse, usually the guy. Judges don't have the time nor inclination to challenge the stated value of the property.
Women who are divorcing without many assets need to gather bank and credit card statements and financial transactions on your home computer. Start setting aside cash in your own name to pay for legal bills prior to a divorce settlement.
During the marriage ask questions about money matters. Everything you and your spouse buy or acquire during the marriage is legally owned by both of you and is marital property.
In your divorce, do you believe marital assets were diverted or hidden?
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I carried him...Stupid but true.
I allowed my husband to stay home while I worked during our marriage. He tinkered at a home business which would not have made any money had I not done the sales calls and most of the work, in addition to my job as a teacher. Our children were homeschooled, however, I monitored and prepared the curriculum for him, he simply delivered it and the kids did it on their own. I also studied and furthered my degree..almost obtaining my PhD (I have not finished my dissertation.) I also cooked and cleaned and did the chores around the house.
My husband had other activities he was involved in that occupied his time.. birdwatching, managing a website on birds watching etc. He never 'got' it when I complained. When I became disabled, I told him he had to find a job but he refused stating that he would not spend the rest of his life in some factory being told what to do. He did finally find a job working for a conservancy group and could finally help out with bills..instead after two weeks he chose to ask for a divorce.
When I saw the divorce attorney, she basically said that despite his ability to earn income during our marriage, his refusal to do so screws me over now. He will not have to pay any spousal support and his child support payments will be unbelievably low. He will be asked to pay have of all the outstanding debt we have but he will never do so and since everything was placed in my name since he had no income on which to base a credit rating, it will be in my best interest to pay things fully or my credit will be ruined.
Something tells me he knew what he was doing for an awfully long time and that was screwing me over royally. No nothing about divorce is fair...which is very very sad.
Randie
Stay at home husband
Randie:
By downsizing his skills and/or willingness to secure employment to enhance the family income, is his way of depreciating the potential income and assets of the marriage. Perhaps you sanctioned, for too long, a househusband who did not even perform the basic household chores.
Keeping his income, deliberately low, means smaller child support. You are absolutely correct in thinking that you will need to pay the debts in order to keep your credit intact. See if you can negotiate a more favorable division of marital property since you will be assuming payment of the debt. Your attorney will have to vigorously press for a settlement which will support the future of the children, given the financial history of your soon to be ex. Good luck. Rachel
Equality??? BULL....
I was married for 17 years and have 5 wonderful children (oldest 17 and youngest 10). After 7 years I quit my job (I had been working in advertising for 16 years and was making great money and had a promising career future) to raise my children. The idea was that I would be responsible for the kids while my husband started his own company (shared 50/50 with me). He worked long hours and it required a lot of travel and nights. We did well and prospered. We moved to Florida from Canada and he hired a girl that could run his creative department. Within two years, her salary jumped from $60,000 to $130,000 and she was running his boy parts as well. Needless to say we are now in the process of divorcing and have been living apart for over a year. He sees his kids once a week for a few hours and focuses the rest of his time on the company (hers and his) and his exercise routine.
In the settlement he wanted 1/4 the value of the house when I sell it and wanted me to give him the company which he claims is valueless. He increased his salary so the kids can maintain their lifestyle and now we share (2/3 for me and 1/3 for him) his salary. He drives a convertible sports car and has bought a new SUV through the company to transport the kids when he sees them. I drive an old mini van. He took them to Paris this past summer while I stayed home and he bought himself a new home while I live in a 15 year old home that needs repairs that I can't afford. Oh, and did I mention that his Dad just passed away and left him a little over a million dollars. He told me in front of the kids that he would like us to cut back on Halloween expenses as we have no money for that (in his little passive-aggressive way).
Well, his future looks pretty bleak, doesn't it! While, on my side, I will be the caregiver for my kids for the next 10 years and will then take on the responsibility for my aging mother. Do I have to get a job so that I'm able to live comfortably when I'm in my 70's? Didn't I do enough just by raising our kids to be good people while keeping them fed, clothed, healthy, educated all under a clean and organized roof as I also paid all the bills? If I question or try to value his company, I live with the possibility that he will pull the rug from under my feet. It will also cause hurt to my children.
Now, please understand that I'm not complaining too much as I understand that there are many women out there that are scrapping pennies together while he has maintained my kids' lifestyle. I would like to know, however, what other recourses we have as women. Even my lawyer told me I should be happy with the outcome! I have been asking that question for some time now. What do I tell my only daughter when she contemplates marriage, children, work, etc...
Did you know that in Brazil, the husband pays his wife a salary if she stays home? Is that a solution that should be contemplated when getting married in the United States.
Looking for answers?
Patricia
Equity? Bull
Patricia. After 17 years of marriage, you deserve something better. Do attempt to establish the value of the business; he may be running it down on purpose.
Agreeing to giving up your share of the business without knowing the real value or status, is a decision which needs to be re-explored. The court can help if you can establish he is undervaluing the business. It is perjury to lie to the court.
Child support will come to an end when the children each turn 18 but you need to protect your future. Giving him one-fourth of the sale price of the house is not a good trade off for the higher current support payments.
The Brazilians have it right. House managers who stay home and raise children should be paid either by their spouse or with some government help. We feel your pain.