Finding Your Place In The Family

Last week, because of my Dad's surgery, my siblings and I were all together again. I got to thinking about the importance of birth order as an indicator of our personalities.

My position is the middle child and I must say, I'm a class middle child. Never the oldest and only briefly the baby, I was left wondering where I fit in. That feeling has carried over into my adult life. I've always felt like I don't belong, and for many years I kept running and running to find my place in the world.

As middle children, we tend to try to be mediators or peacemakers, the ones who avoid conflict at all costs. We are independent and loyal, outgoing and impatient, often swinging between frustration and calm. Sometimes we're called the black sheep of the family. This describes me perfectly.

I found some traits for the other birth order positions. Do they describe you?

Firstborns are reliable perfectionists, often scholarly and academic. They're critical of themselves and others, as well as conscientious and organized list-makers. Serious and self-reliant, there's a lot of pressure on firstborns.

The baby of the family is an outgoing and affectionate charmer. Generally carefree and vivacious rebels, babies are often spoiled but cursed by never being taken seriously.

Only children are often treated like little adults and they end up feeling like they never had a childhood. Serious and cautious, these perfectionists are used to being the center of attention and spend a lot of time trying to please.

Can you relate? Share your story.