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Don't Let Divorce Consume Your Life
Strategies for getting through the process
When I began navigating the process of divorce, it consumed my life. I ate, drank and slept divorce. It seemed to be all I could think about or talk about and all that talking and thinking fed my raw emotions.
If you are consumed by the legal, emotional and financial aspects of your divorce here are some tips to help avoid obsessive thinking and reflection:
1. Set a daily time limit for thinking about and dealing with divorce issues. Give yourself permission to wallow in it one or two hours a day and then let it go. Fill the rest of your day with distractions that promote a healthy life instead of feeding the negative emotions.
2. Don't talk about divorce with everyone you know. Have a select group of friends and family that you confide in and us as support. The cashier at your local super market doesn't need to know the details of your struggles with your ex or the family court system. Limiting who you talk to about your divorce means less divorce talk and thought.
3. Spend time taking care of yourself. If you're busy working out and getting your body back into dating shape, there won't be time for thoughts of divorce. Get active and stay active!
4. Distract yourself with fun activities. Hang out at Barnes and Noble, but stay away from the self-help aisle! Take a class at your local university or learn to pole dance. Whether you choose to feed your brain with knowledge or take up a hobby that feeds your need for fun, it doesn't matter, as long as it diverts your attention away from divorce issues.
5. Spend time with people who have interesting lives. You need friends and family who will support you but you also need people in your life who can lead by example. You know the sort of people I'm talking about. If they aren't off climbing a mountain somewhere, they're planning their next adventure. Cultivate relationships with such people and don't let the dust settle under your feet.
Cathy Meyer is the head of About.com's Divorce Support channel. To hear more from Cathy, go to: divorcesupport.about.com.
Nice article
I wish I had been able to read it when first going through my own divorce. Boy did I suffer from divorce consumption! It took all my will power to keep from thinking about it 24/7. All I wanted to do was pull the covers over my head and stay in bed.
Thanks to some good friends I got through it and now can look back and laugh at how consumed I was.
I enjoy reading your articles.
Ina