I Am Not A Poster Girl

My friend knocked at my door a while back. She was in tears, and when she had drunk half a glass of wine, she was calm enough to tell me that her husband had left her.

I was shocked. These guys were a part of the married elite. Four kids, still madly in love after about forever together. I wasn't buying it.

She went on to tell me her quickly patched together plans for her life as a single mother. Her business was starting to take off, so she would be okay for money. There was the house to sell and that would work out. She could buy food in bulk and freeze meals and that would help with running the family.

Through her sobbing, she sounded almost dedicated to the cause. I got the impression that being divorced and a single mother was what she wanted to be when she grew up.

I was puzzled by this and asked her what she thought she was thinking. She told me that she had been watching me "do it all" for a couple of years and she thought she could do it too. I was horrified. I do not want to be the poster girl for divorce.

She calmed down a little – even talking about being a single mother is tiring. We talked about some of the realities of divorce, that it is the path forward only when all other options have been exhausted. Divorce is not about a choice. It is about no other choice left.

In time, the figured out they still had other options to explore. They were committed to each other. They started to look in love again, after having gone through so much together.