Well, I have had the pleasure of blogging for First Wives World for nearly a year now and this is my last post. I will miss your comments, insights, honesty, and stories. I believe in the mission of FWW to foster a community for women who are survivors of divorce. As I prepare for my second wedding, I have had the opportunity to reflect on my life through my weekly contributions.

The one piece of wisdom that I am the most sure of is that the time after your divorce is crucial for self-discovery and inner happiness. Look in the mirror and ask, "Who am I and what do I want?" Then, go find the answers. Uncovering the mysteries within ourselves is a unique process for each individual. But the end result is beautiful — realizing your truest self.

You don't have to cater to anyone or try to mold yourself into something because of an unrealistic expectation. Be yourself. Respect and love yourself. Because as soon as you realize who you are and own it, that is when others — male and female — begin responding to YOU. Not to someone you are trying to be, but the person you really are. You don't have to pretend anymore. You can be yourself and those around you will love you for it.

Thank you for letting me be a part of your life and if you'd like to stay in touch, please visit my Web site or my MySpace page.

When I was a kid, the people I looked up to are quite a bit different than those I look up to now. I still admire my parents and respect their relationship, which has produced a 40-year marriage.

Of course when I was a kid, I was enamored with Michael Jackson (he still looked like a human being then), my piano teacher, Christa McAuliffe, Madonna (who didn't?) and the ultimate teenage heartthrob, Johnny Depp.

My life is clearly much different now and I haven't used a Trapper Keeper in many years (decades?) to display my undying adoration for my idols. Today, I look up to people who follow their heart, who have a passion, who don't follow the status quo, and who aren't afraid to take a few risks to fulfill their dreams.

I admire women and men who have grit and tenacity, who work hard, who push themselves to realize a goal and still maintain a good sense of humor. When I was a kid, my role models were the people I saw on TV or heard on the radio.

There are still a few folks in the media that may match my current criteria, but overall, the folks I look up to are my peers and many of them I feel fortunate to call friends.

So, FWW readers, who do you look up to?

Occasionally, looking at a situation with a different perspective can be extremely refreshing.

When I went through my divorce, I was really hung up on "How did I get here?" I thought I was a pretty intelligent young woman and could read people relatively well, too. I was very hard on myself because I felt like a complete failure at love.

Funny, how time mends your heart and hurt feelings drift farther and farther away. Then someday a friend will say to you, "Well, look at the bright side, at least now you know what you don't want." Good point, right?

Truly, now that you have gone through the painful process of divorce, you can evaluate other men in a way you didn't before. You can possibly avoid the characteristics that your ex possessed that you didn't care for and choose a more suitable match. It may take time, and I can't say that dating is always fun.

Look at it like a buffet: You can always go back and try something else, and if it all goes to hell, you can still have as many desserts as you want.

As I prepare to enter my second marriage, I see that my current choice is much better. I have found someone whom I truly love, but whom I am also compatible with. We're very close friends and respect each other. I had none of this with my ex.

Well, the invitations went out for the wedding. I wanted a small wedding of 75 guests or so, but 300 people were invited to the big day. The RSVPs are arriving and there are way more people coming than we ever thought since, we are hosting a destination wedding.

This is my fiancé's first wedding and my second. My guest list was a lot smaller than his, but many of those invited attended my first wedding. That means they bought me a gift.

Etiquette says that these guests are not required to bring another gift to my second wedding. I looked it up on the "official" wedding dos and don'ts on The Knot, a Web site my fiancé knew about and I didn't. I know, I'm a bad bride.

Anyway, I am not sure how to bring this up to my friends and family. I talked to my mom and she said people will want to give us something because they like my fiancé so much. Which is all well and good, but I feel sorta like a mooch.

Am I supposed to send out a little email notification before the wedding to my peeps or post a short message on our registry? I am hoping that word gets out and folks don't feel obligated to bring a gift.

Statistics are not in my favor. Second marriages have a higher percentage of failure than first marriages. Not that I am a gambler, but I don't really like my odds.

In two months, I will marry...again. I feel that I am making a very solid decision and that my judgment is sound this time around. However, I'm sure if you would have asked me 10 years ago when I married my first husband, I probably would have told you the same thing.

Why do second marriages fail? This truly perplexes me, because know I never want to go through another divorce. Never. Perhaps some individuals remarry only to find that a second marriage was another bad choice and, since they have already been through the divorce process, it is easier to jump ship. I've had some friends do this and some are even planning their third wedding.

Personally, I feel that my second marriage truly is a second chance, and I am committed to making our marriage work — no matter what.

Great Expectations is a classic by Charles Dickens... the title kind of describes where I'm at right now. Expectations of greatness and grandeur seem to be plaguing me a lot as my second wedding approaches in April.

I recently read Akillah Wali's posting "The Worst Kind of Abuse." I could totally relate. Why are we so hard on ourselves? Why do we constantly put the weight of the universe on our shoulders? I am not sure, but my Super Woman cape is a bit tattered and torn.

I have always been goal-oriented and pushed myself to the brink of burnout time and time again. As I've gotten older, I can see the warning signs a bit better and am able to rein myself in before I totally shut down.

But these days, I'm navigating in unchartered waters. I feel that I can handle the expectations of my career and also within my relationship with my fiancé. The problem I'm having is the anxiety of meeting the expectations surrounding my second wedding. There are expectations of our guests, of my family and my future in-laws (of which there are many) and then the expectations I have for myself.

I want the perfect day, but I don't want to drive myself crazy before I get there.

1. One acre of land...on the Moon. Seriously, look it up at Lunar Land Owner. This their selling point: "You can purchase land on the Moon. 100% legal and real! Moon property is: a great gift, potential prudent investment and an interesting conversation piece. Attractive gift pack." Attractive gift pack! Sold!

2. The Indecent Proposal Board Game. Made by Simply for Lovers, they say that "Money is accumulated by selling sexual favors to your opponent. It's the game where sexual fantasies are bought and sold." I'm not sure about you, but I really don't want to pretend I'm a prostitute for Valentine's day. Call me crazy.

3. Your faces on Adam and Eve Artwork. At My DaVinci they say, "Imagine your photo seamlessly transformed onto Adam and Eve by our professional artists! Also available in 27 other styles. Preview your artwork online. Free revisions. 100% satisfaction guaranteed. Free shipping."
Obviously, this would make a great conversation piece when you have dinner parties.

4. And now my personal favorite, Valentine's Day Toilet Paper. Just what I'm sure you always wanted from your sweetheart, right? This lovely gift is made by JustPaperRoses and they say, "Is there a better way to say "I Love You From Top To Bottom"?" Umm...what do you think?

Well, I guess we each take a turn getting beat by the life stick and some of those difficult life lessons sting more than others. After my divorce, I was convinced I'd never be happy again and I was the glass half-empty girl for a long time.

Snapping out of a funk takes me a lot longer than sinking into one. For some reason, when things go wrong, I can sit and stew and stew and stew, wrapping myself in negative thoughts.

Attitude is everything isn't it? Turning that glass half empty to half full is a mindset. It's a decision to look at your life and see the positives rather than the negatives. In essence, to see your life as half-full rather than half-empty. For example, instead of seeing a failed marriage, you could see the opportunity to grow as a woman and become empowered by the strength inside you to recover.

But, some days, it is really hard to see the positive in your life and it may feel like life is picking on you. It's natural to say, "Why me?" or "Why now?"

This is something I struggle with this even now. I've been told that to change your mindset requires dedicated focus on the positives and letting go of the negativity and the things you cannot control. I guess I'm a work in progress.

When I was in college, one of my jobs was working at a flower shop. I was the delivery girl. It wasn't a bad gig because when you show up at a person's house with flowers, generally they are happy to see you.

In the flower business, Valentine's Day provides shops with a large portion of their revenue for the entire year. The shop I worked at was the only flower place in town, so the traffic through there on Valentine's Day was absolutely crazy!

I'm not really a big fan of Valentine's Day and I think it dawned on me when I was working at the shop that it seemed like a holiday for retailers to make money more than anything.

What I found amusing was the line of men out the door, each wearing the "what the hell do I buy here" look. They wander through the store filling their arms with outrageously priced bouquets of flowers, obnoxious little red heart shaped pillows and anything that could be used to profess their love without them actually having to say it.

I have been on the receiving end through the years of some of those little red heart shaped pillows that have eventually made their way to the dumpster. I guess maybe I'm more about language and would rather hear someone tell me how they feel.

I listen to a lot of music and a lot of different types of music. Sometimes, I am more aware of the lyrics than others and find it amusing that after listening to a certain song for over five years, one day the meaning behind the song will have a direct impact on my life on that very day.

That is the power of music.

It is for that very reason that I have made my living as a songwriter. The ability to tell your story through a song that will reach a total stranger on level that makes them weep, laugh, give them comfort — that feeling is unmatchable. I love songs that I listen to and think, "Well at least I'm not alone in feeling this way!"

Music can be inspiring. It can lift your spirits or capture a moment so well that the song can become "your song." Many couples find artists and songs that encompass feelings within their relationship.

So, FWW readers, what inspires you?