Occasionally, looking at a situation with a different perspective can be extremely refreshing.

When I went through my divorce, I was really hung up on "How did I get here?" I thought I was a pretty intelligent young woman and could read people relatively well, too. I was very hard on myself because I felt like a complete failure at love.

Funny, how time mends your heart and hurt feelings drift farther and farther away. Then someday a friend will say to you, "Well, look at the bright side, at least now you know what you don't want." Good point, right?

Truly, now that you have gone through the painful process of divorce, you can evaluate other men in a way you didn't before. You can possibly avoid the characteristics that your ex possessed that you didn't care for and choose a more suitable match. It may take time, and I can't say that dating is always fun.

Look at it like a buffet: You can always go back and try something else, and if it all goes to hell, you can still have as many desserts as you want.

As I prepare to enter my second marriage, I see that my current choice is much better. I have found someone whom I truly love, but whom I am also compatible with. We're very close friends and respect each other. I had none of this with my ex.

1. One acre of land...on the Moon. Seriously, look it up at Lunar Land Owner. This their selling point: "You can purchase land on the Moon. 100% legal and real! Moon property is: a great gift, potential prudent investment and an interesting conversation piece. Attractive gift pack." Attractive gift pack! Sold!

2. The Indecent Proposal Board Game. Made by Simply for Lovers, they say that "Money is accumulated by selling sexual favors to your opponent. It's the game where sexual fantasies are bought and sold." I'm not sure about you, but I really don't want to pretend I'm a prostitute for Valentine's day. Call me crazy.

3. Your faces on Adam and Eve Artwork. At My DaVinci they say, "Imagine your photo seamlessly transformed onto Adam and Eve by our professional artists! Also available in 27 other styles. Preview your artwork online. Free revisions. 100% satisfaction guaranteed. Free shipping."
Obviously, this would make a great conversation piece when you have dinner parties.

4. And now my personal favorite, Valentine's Day Toilet Paper. Just what I'm sure you always wanted from your sweetheart, right? This lovely gift is made by JustPaperRoses and they say, "Is there a better way to say "I Love You From Top To Bottom"?" Umm...what do you think?

When I was in college, one of my jobs was working at a flower shop. I was the delivery girl. It wasn't a bad gig because when you show up at a person's house with flowers, generally they are happy to see you.

In the flower business, Valentine's Day provides shops with a large portion of their revenue for the entire year. The shop I worked at was the only flower place in town, so the traffic through there on Valentine's Day was absolutely crazy!

I'm not really a big fan of Valentine's Day and I think it dawned on me when I was working at the shop that it seemed like a holiday for retailers to make money more than anything.

What I found amusing was the line of men out the door, each wearing the "what the hell do I buy here" look. They wander through the store filling their arms with outrageously priced bouquets of flowers, obnoxious little red heart shaped pillows and anything that could be used to profess their love without them actually having to say it.

I have been on the receiving end through the years of some of those little red heart shaped pillows that have eventually made their way to the dumpster. I guess maybe I'm more about language and would rather hear someone tell me how they feel.

When I married my first husband, I wasn't anticipating going through a divorce. I wasn't anticipating that he would become a raging alcoholic and I didn't anticipate essentially having to start my life over at age 25.

Now, with wedding number two coming up, I have been experiencing something strange. Anxiety. A lot of it.

I could let myself get lost in the wedding planning and ignore it, but I've learned from past experiences that this is not healthy. However, facing my anxiety dead on has been harder than I thought.

Perhaps I'm older and there's more life stuff to deal with than when I was in my early 20s, or perhaps I'm more aware of the challenges of marriage. I also know the pain of having a failed marriage and I truly don't want to go through that again.

Change is a natural part of life. The bigger the change, the more stress and anxiety that can stem from it and I'm definitely feeling it.

"I'm good at a lot of things, but I'm getting really good at being lonely."

One of my girlfriends said this to me the other day. Her comment struck me and I wrote a song about her and now I'm going to blog about it, too.

She is an amazing woman and she's right, she is good at a lot of things. She is an excellent cook, great at her job, a pretty good picker on the guitar, and a talented seamstress. Another thing she's good at is hiding her loneliness, because I didn't see it.

I met her after her divorce, about 10 years ago. In the past 10 years, she's had only one serious boyfriend and that wound up being a disaster. She continues to date, but she has not remarried and now she is 41 and wondering where her dream of a life with the husband, kids and house in the suburbs went.

As I've been planning my wedding, she's put up a good front but I can hear something funny in her voice. Well, now I know for sure because she told me she wishes she was in my shoes the other day on the phone.

I did not know what to say to her. I can't really apologize for my life or where my choices have brought me, but I felt so badly for her and wanted to comfort her. I opened my mouth to say something and nothing of real substance came out.

I have a gig coming up in New York City around Valentine's Day and the venue has requested that I do a set of love songs. Luckily, this gig is now instead of five years ago when I was fresh off my divorce. I would have had to turn it down due to the complete nonexistence of love songs in my catalogue!

Anyway, as I was going through my songs — new and old, sorting through the sentiments where love is directed at an individual or the sensation of love, I thought about those that I love in my life.

I love my family. I think my parents are incredible well-rounded people who are extremely caring and overall wonderful folks.

I love my fiancé. He is a strong, caring, sensitive man with a wicked sense of humor who takes care of me when I need it and gives me the room to still enjoy my independence.

I love my girlfriends. Who doesn't, right? A strong support group of women you can talk with, cry with, laugh with and shop with. Priceless!

I love my fans. As cheesy as this is, it is true. They allow me to do what I do for a living. In exchange, I write music that touches them in some way.

Myself. I took a long, long time to get here, but I enjoy the woman I have become. I have grown into a person that has learned to accept shortcomings and flaws and appreciate my talents and gifts.

Who do you love?

Yesterday, my fiancé and I sat down and worked on wedding plans for nine hours. In nine hours, we had two computers fired up sending out emails, three arguments, eight spreadsheets mapping out time lines and a partridge in a pear tree.

No wonder I'm tired today.

My first wedding was very small. Both of our families were small and we decided to keep the ceremony intimate and have a big reception a few weeks after the wedding. I remember the wedding planning being manageable, or maybe my memory is failing me since that was 10 years ago!

I've attended many large weddings and they can be so much fun but I never thought I would throw a big bash for my second wedding. I was thinking more along the lines of eloping.

But, my fiancé has never been married before and coming from a large Italian family, eloping is not even in their vocabulary. We initially thought that having a destination wedding would somehow make the numbers shrink naturally, but to our surprise, the majority of folks we are inviting are planning on attending!

So, I feel somewhat torn because although I would prefer a small wedding, I can see how much this means to my fiancé and his family. But I sure need some ideas on how to keep my sanity until April.

I've heard people use this phrase about 10 times in the last week. Each one had their own circumstance. One was referring to finding an ideal gift for someone, one had a difficult discussion with their child, one went to the doctor to hear their cancer had returned, one found the perfect Christmas tree, and one looked at my fiancé and I and said "I guess timing is everything, huh?"

When I met my fiancé, I was really on an anti-men kick. I'd had a summer of boring "getting-to-know-you" sort-of dates. I was closing in on the big 3-0 and wasn't really sure if I even wanted to get married again. I was happy and content in my music career. I had my own apartment, fun girlfriends, and plenty of hobbies to keep me busy for several decades before I became a spinster and filled my house full of cats.

However, all that changed in a single moment when I met my fiancé at a wedding. We started dating and I tried to pull away several times out of fear of commitment. He was patient and let me come to terms with our relationship in my own way — very slowly. But, as our relationship and friendship blossomed, it was hard to picture my life without him in it and then I knew. I was ready to get married again.

It is an old phrase, but there is a lot of truth in it — timing really can be everything.

In my own humble mind, I feel that if you go through a horrible marriage, survive a nasty divorce, recover, and fall in love, you've probably learned something. I think you may have the benefit of being able to see a situation and say, "You know, maybe that isn't such a healthy relationship."

Well, one would think so.

I have a situation where someone very close to me is planning to marry someone that I'm not convinced they should be marrying. My first issue is that they've gone pedal to the metal in every step — moving in together after three months, engaged after six months, and they're quite young.

I realize if one has never gone through the euphoria of meeting someone you connect with, it is exhilarating and exciting. But enjoy it. Don't rush to the finish line.

My second issue is that I really haven't seen the reason why my friend is so in love with this person. Now, I realize I'm not going to like everybody, but usually I can find something to talk about with an individual. Not with this woman.

I start talking and she will actually start talking to someone else while I'm trying to converse with her. Rude? Well, I think so. But no one wants to hear my take on this, even though all of us around the couple feel the same.

What is the benefit of experience if no one wants to listen to you?

My fiancé and I had a fight last weekend. In short, the fight was a lack of communication on his part and a bit of over-reaction on my part.

We tend to have these types of blow outs when I'm on the road. However, when we do reach the boiling point, I'll say that we're able to resolve it in a timely and constructive way without the verbal sparring that can hurt so deeply.

I thought about where we learn conflict resolution. I thought about my parents and I'm not sure they were the best at it. My mom would get mad, there would be some raised voices and then a very hollow silence would fill the house, ending with the bang of a slammed door. This is how we knew she was still mad. Eventually, my parents would make peace privately and the fight was over.

In my first marriage, we had verbal sparring to the point of abuse. My ex could not demonstrate anger without losing control. As for me, I acted a lot like my mother. I would slip into a deep silence that would last for days. I wouldn't talk or even look at him. Now I know that this is not a healthy way to deal with conflict.

I've learned the value of talking it through. My fiancé is excellent at pushing the issue when we need to talk and I'm grateful for it. When we deal with an issue immediately, it gets resolved immediately. If we were to let it linger, it could start to manifest itself into something much larger that can seriously damage a relationship.