When I decided to file paperwork for my divorce, I didn't have a lot of experience with lawyers. My therapist recommended someone and I met with him on my own. I can still remember walking into his sterile office six years ago wondering what I should be looking for in a divorce attorney.

He was a nondescript, average-looking, middle-aged man who was very professional. He asked me to tell him my story and after listening, asked what I would like to do. My mouth went dry as I mumbled, "I'd like to file for divorce."

He could tell I was not familiar with divorce proceedings and gave me some paperwork to read and sent me on my way with his business card. I read through what he gave me and also spoke to him about price. His fee was reasonable and I felt comfortable enough letting him handle this situation. Overall, he did a very professional job.

The only time he ever disagreed with me is when I declined any alimony. He felt this was a big mistake, but I decided I didn't want any support from my ex. I wanted to be free of anything connected to him — including his money.

Trusting legal help can be difficult. I feel very fortunate to have worked with someone who didn't take advantage of my naivety, but instead acknowledged it and helped educate me on the process. I would highly recommend using a referral from someone you trust.

I flew into Minneapolis to pick up my trusty Toyota to drive to San Francisco. Cell service was sketchy due to the mountains. When I answered my ringing phone in Salt Lake City, I almost drove into the lake.

My ex husband calls me about once a year. I have him programmed into my phone as "Evil Ex" so I don't answer it. But, this time he got the best of me: He got a new phone.

I didn't recognize the number, and usually I don't answer unknown numbers. For some reason, this time I did. Big mistake. It was my ex-husband.

Just hearing his voice made me nauseous. He promptly told me that we had a "major issue." Now, my stomach was really doing somersaults. I asked what the "major issue" could possibly be.

Apparently, something came up on his credit report that had a New York address on it and because of it, he didn't qualify for a car loan in Nevada. I had no idea what it was, but told him I would look into it at my hotel.

I hung up and drove the hundred miles to my hotel in silence. Why after five years should I do anything to help him out?

Since it could have affected my credit too, I did some investigating. It turned out to be an old credit card that I never use. I canceled it, and reprogrammed my phone as "Evil Ex's New Phone."

Let's face it: Divorce and money issues can be messy. Not only will you split the assets and debts during the divorce, but you'll have to figure out how to survive financially afterwards. Surviving is the key word. There is definitely a period of adjustment that can be daunting!

For me, I paid the bills, but my ex earned more than I did. When we split, we worked out a deal where he wouldn't have to pay me alimony (gasp!) but rather, I received the majority of the investments knowing I have an unconventional profession without a 401K plan. I felt that this reserve would serve as my retirement even if I never remarried. At the time of the divorce, remarrying sounded about as appealing as a root canal and someone pulling my fingernails out--at the same time!

An interesting observation is that so many women I know struggle with this adjustment, but don't want to ask for help. I was that wallflower at one point before I reached out. I was very fortunate to receive help from my parents and the added bonus that my dad is a retired math teacher! However, other women have given me valuable tips that really do help, everything from paying bills online to choosing health insurance plans to learning the cash flow curve. Rachel Small has written on how to protect your credit.

What are tips and practical suggestions taking the lead in establishing financial independence?