Every year I sit down and write out a laundry list of resolutions. I found my 2007 list the other day and I think I actually completed two out of the 20! I definitely didn't rid myself of those "extra 10 pounds." In fact, I think I may have given the extra ten a bit of company. Bummer.

I started to write down my resolutions and by the second page, I thought to myself, this is crazy! How on earth can I accomplish all of these things in one short year!

So, I ripped them up and made three promises to myself.

1.) I let go of the losing a certain number of pounds and made a promise to myself to stay active and in shape.

2.) I also promised myself to enjoy my time in New York City when I'm not on tour. This is one amazing place and I feel that I need to spend more time exploring all of the wonders around me.

3.) The third thing is less tangible than the first two, but by far the most important. I promised myself to stay true to myself. As easy as it is to write down, it sure can be difficult especially when family or friends make comments or do things that make one think, "well, if I was only thinner/prettier/younger (fill in your own word), then maybe I'd be happier."

Well, the answer to that is pretty simple. Happiness comes from within and holding onto the things that I enjoy about myself and not letting others stomp on my self-esteem is my most important resolution this year.

Some years are better than others. For me, I'd like to permanently erase 2001 and 2002 from my memory, as well as a good portion of 2003. That's when I went through my divorce and then recovered from it.

I just got back into New York City and I'm trying to find a few quiet moments to reflect on this past year. 2007 was really, really busy and full of big changes. I moved to New York City from Minneapolis, I'm planning my second wedding, I performed over 250 shows all over the nation — the list could go on and on. I paged through my calendar and said, "Wow."

What is glaringly apparent is that I didn't take any time for myself. Every day has been full of things to do and places to go. No wonder I'm tired!

Seriously, I think women have a hard time slowing down and rewarding themselves with sleep and relaxation. For me, I feel guilty if I take some time off. Many of my friends have expressed similar feelings and most of them have children.

Perhaps it's our own expectation of ourselves, or could it be the expectations of others that we strive to satisfy? As I unpacked from our holiday vacation, I thought about this. I see in myself that I do strive to meet the expectations of others at the expense of my own happiness. I feel that I need to try and take better care of myself in 2008.

I distinctly remember going through my closet after my divorce was finalized and purging. I even got rid of my wedding dress — something I have not regretted.

My ex and I dated for three years, and we were married for another three before we divorced. I was 26, single, and my self-esteem was at an all-time low. I would look in the mirror and wonder aloud, "Will a guy ever find me attractive?"

I hit the gym, went shopping, and slowly began going out with my single gal pals. At first, I was so awkward around men. It was if I had to relearn how to flirt again and read the signs that someone was interested. For months, I watched and learned from my skilled single friends.

During those months, I slowly became more sure of myself. I felt better physically. I knew it would be a long road, but at least I had begun the process of healing emotionally.

As I became more confident, it was so much easier to communicate with the opposite sex. Rebuilding your self-esteem after a divorce can seem very daunting, but I know it can be done. It is a process, not a realization that miraculously occurs overnight. So, if you're going through this process now, please know you're not alone and take it day by day.

I tried. I really, really tried. I went shopping twice in Manhattan last week and lasted a total of an hour on both trips. I made two purchases — a white shirt and a black shirt. Very exciting, right?

I'm a basics kind of dresser. I think it's the Minnesota Scandinavian in me. We tend to steer away from flashy.

Now that I living and dating in New York, I love to see what people are wearing even if it's something I could never pull off. However, when I try to mix in new and exciting fashion trends into my wardrobe, I wind up with yet another black shirt!

Am I missing a gene? Is it just a phase? I'm not sure exactly what to do. I have friends who can look at my closet and pull together outfits that I would have never imagined go together. It's certainly helpful, but it also makes me feel like a fool.

How is it that I don't see the potential stellar outfit just sitting in my closet waiting patiently for me to become fashion savvy?

Please tell me I'm not alone!

A girlfriend and I were reminiscing the other day about our wild single days in Minneapolis right after my divorce.

We agreed that there are some things that a newly single girl can't live without. We came up with this list — feel free to add your thoughts in the comments!

Friends! Good, solid friends who will listen, cry, laugh, eat chocolate and shop with you.

Storage unit. If you don't want to throw every bit of your past away, get it out of the house. Deal with it when you're ready.

A journal. You'll be surprised at what emotions will find their way to the page, and as the months go by, you'll be able to read about your healing and growth.

A girl toy. Enough said.

Music. Discover new artists that fit your mood, and where every song doesn't remind you of your ex.

A hobby. Learn something new! I learned how to cook and picked up the guitar after my divorce.

Clothes & Shoes. You can only hide away for so long before your friends take you out on the town. Be confident in your new single status and explore your personal style.

A vacation. Start building new memories through travel.

Flowers. Treat yourself to small things that will brighten your home and your day.

A support network. Somewhere — like First Wives World — where you can read, comment or vent freely on your divorce experience with others who have been where you are right now.

My mother called me recently and mentioned that my brother's girlfriend has gained ten pounds since she started dating my brother — needless to say, she's not too pleased.

I don't really like my brother's girlfriend, so I don't feel sorry for her — at all.

However, when I think about my own roller coaster weight, I notice a pattern. When it has been up, I have been in a relationship, and overall, I was thinner when I was single. What's the deal with that?

Perhaps, I had more time when I was single to work out because my focus wasn't on another person — it was completely on me. My brother's girlfriend says the pounds started showing up because my brother likes to eat late at night. I have to agree: it's hard to resist when your partner orders the naughty treats that you only dream of indulging in.

So, can a relationship actually make you gain weight? I think it definitely can. When another person enters your life, the routine you have established is thrown out of whack, though this is not necessarily a bad thing.

Change is inevitable — and makes us stronger as individuals — but I want to know: How do you maintain a healthy figure and a healthy relationship?

When I was going through my separation and heading into divorce, my friends encouraged me to get out there and date, and I wasn't quite ready.

Two of my girlfriends from college, who were also single at the time, decided to take matters into their own hands and presented me with two unmarked boxes one night. I opened the first one to find "The Rabbit," the official girl-toy from "Sex and the City." I'd never owned one before and my friends felt that if I wasn't going to go out, then I might as well have some fun while I was home alone!

I'm not that savvy with anything that needs a remote, so needless to say, I was a little intimidated. The other box had C batteries, which also scared me. So, weeks went by and I found Mr. Rabbit a little drawer to hide out in. Finally, one day my curiosity got the best of me and I took him for a spin. As a Minnesotan would say, "Holy Moley!" I had no idea what I'd missed out on and suddenly, that episode with Charlotte and "The Rabbit" on "Sex and the City" made a whole lot more sense!

Since then, when one of my friends goes through a divorce, I show up at their door with two unmarked boxes. In turn, those friends have started giving the gift to their friends going through divorces, and so on. Diamonds? Um, I think I'll hang out with "The Rabbit"!

I've been holed up in the studio in Minneapolis with some wonderful musicians this week. Dean Magraw and I recorded our version of "Amazing Grace" for my next album. Feel free to have a listen by clicking on the MP3 attachment below!

"Amazing Grace" is one of my favorite songs and it also happens to be one of my mother's as well. As a child, I couldn't figure out why she would cry during this song. Well, as I got older, she told me it was played at my grandfather's funeral and it reminds her of him.

I also get a little choked up when I hear this song. For me, it's healing in a way that's hard to put into words. I think that from the first opening notes, I tend to become reflective and think about my life and the people who have come and gone and those I have yet to meet. The simple melody is haunting and beautiful and can instantly stir up emotions that have been dormant for years. That's the power of music and the beauty of a song. I hope you can also find healing in it. Enjoy!

Every girl I know thinks her life would be so much better if she could just drop 10 pounds. As if 10 pounds is going to drastically alter her life’s path. She would undoubtedly be more beautiful, smarter, richer and more fabulous without the weight. Well, I’m here to tell you that’s not the case ladies.

After my divorce, I went through a period of what some like to call “emotional eating.” I was eating for me, for him and for our failed marriage and I did it because that’s what I wanted to do at the time. I gained some weight, then gradually pulled in the reins by going back to the gym and eventually lost my “baggage” in more ways than one.

Now, as I’m working to release an album and planning a wedding, I find myself reaching for that extra piece of cheese (hey, I’m from Wisconsin) or another glass of wine knowing full well that I probably shouldn’t. Stress is a trigger for me and for most women I know. As women, we’re expected to flawlessly manage and balance work, family, friends and children all while looking fabulous and never wearing anything bigger than a size 4.

So, why do we as women put such pressures on ourselves? I, for one, am sick of it. I’m a believer in moderation, but some of the extreme expectations are ridiculous. I feel like I’m starting to lose my patience with all the “sexy equals thin” stereotypes.

So I’m becoming a voice of reason. Take some time out to be good to yourself. Enjoy another glass of wine on a beautiful summer day. Take a walk in the rain just because you can. Someone once told me that the most beautiful accessory a woman can have is confidence—not a pair of size 4 jeans.

Go ahead, eat that chocolate truffle and hold your head up. Be proud to be a woman—no matter what size!