After a year of being single and going on dates that don't go anywhere, I've met someone that I seem to have a rapport with. I only met him a few weeks ago, so its much to early to tell — we're still very much so into the "discovery phase". However, I don't have many — or really any — complaints so far. That's a huge thing for me.

He's smart — that's really important to me, so I'm very happy about that. In my opinion there's nothing worse than going out with somebody that you can not have a deep and intellectual conversation with. He's funny — I like that too. He likes kids — obviously, that's something that's very important to me. Like me, like my son. Period.

There's one thing though, that's really screwing me up. It's pretty unimportant, but he and Levi share the same birthday. When I found that out, it blew my mind. I mean seriously, how weird is that? Initially, I was so freaked out, I just put it aside. I mean, a date is just a date — there are thousands of people that share the same birthday. That's like saying I wouldn't date someone again if they were named Levi — actually, I probably wouldn't! — but a name is just a name, right?

Of course — since I can't keep anything to myself — I posed the question to my friends, asking them what they thought. The answer was unanimous all the way around. Wow, they all said, that's just way too weird.

My aunt said, "If there were ever a sign, that's it ".

Signs — not something that I can really say I've ever given much thought too — but maybe I should have. Look at all of the other "signs" I've missed along the way.

What do you think? Should I break it off simply because they share the same birthday?

It seems that relationships come in all different types and I am all too familiar with the long distance romance. My fiancé and I have conquered the long distance for over two years. He flew in for Thanksgiving and up until that point it had been a month that we were apart.

After going through the teary goodbyes and then the anticipation of seeing each other again, I feel like I can see the positives and negatives of being in a relationship of this nature. On the positive end, there is the eagerness with butterflies of picking them up at the airport or opening the apartment door to see someone equally excited to see you. It is a wonderful feeling!

On the bad side, we don't have the luxury of seeing each other on a daily basis so sometimes we have a hard time communicating purely because of the distance. Comments made on the phone that may have not intended to be hurtful can be misconstrued and can actually cause hurt feelings.

I've talked with women about long distance relationships and some feel it is a good way because the excitement of seeing each other keeps the relationship vibrant. However, other women have no idea how two people can stay together without seeing each other on a daily basis. Any FWW readers would like to share their story?

This is the first year I won't be putting up a tree. After my divorce, I went out and bought a small artificial tree and some new decorations. I threw out the decorations that said "Our First Christmas Together" and anything my ex had given me over the years.

I loved my little tree decorated with white lights and red trimmings. But this year, it is all sitting in a storage unit in Wisconsin. Our travel plans won't allow us to be at our place for Christmas and I'm on the road, so I really won't be able to get a tree into our New York apartment. My fiancé doesn't seem to be very upset by it, so I'm led to believe it's a girl thing?

In any case, I am disappointed. I love trimming the tree and going through the decorations. I particularly enjoy those ornaments made by me or my brother. Even though the felt is a little worn and the colors are faded, the memories always warm my heart and make me smile.

It seems that the holidays are becoming more and more different each year instead of more and more the same. I guess I'm a sucker for tradition, so it's a real challenge for me to find that feeling of excitement that I had when I was a kid. Perhaps when I have my own children, that feeling will return or even finding new traditions may help. Any suggestions from the FWW readers?

I've been attending a women's empowerment group for victims of domestic violence, which has helped me tremendously understand and confront controlling behaviors exhibited towards me. I'm in my second "round" of the 12-step program, which covers a variety of topics including co-dependency, boundaries, anger, etc.

As I go through this class the second time around, I have found new meaning in the material provided to me.

The first time around, several months ago, setting boundaries meant just sharing my opinion about how my personal space was being affected and abused. Doing this was an extremely difficult undertaking for me. I'd been told that my needs weren't important, that my feelings weren't of concern and that I pretty much served little purpose other than to "provide" at my ex's beck and call.

I set a huge boundary when I asked for personal space in my marriage to sort through my feelings. Yes, I have feelings! Imagine that. I set another defining boundary when, because I asked for space and it was not given, I just didn't answer the phone or emails.

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When I first read the poll that’s currently running on the sidebar of First Wives World, I was surprised. The question running right now is “Will you consider marrying again?” Obviously, since I’m engaged to be married now, my answer is pretty clear. But I was surprised by the number of people who said “No, never again."

At the time of this writing, 27 percent of readers say they will never marry again. I found it interesting that more than a quarter of divorced women would not even consider walking down the aisle again in their lifetime.

It’s so easy to become convinced that your own viewpoint is the right one. I’ve always thought that marriage is about the couple, not the institution. It would appear that not everyone shares my view. When I told my partner about the poll, I likened it to food. “That’s like eating sushi, hating it, and then saying you’re never going to eat food again. Not all food is sushi.” I know that was a fairly broad, sweeping statement, but I wonder about its truth.

When I first separated from my husband, I had no idea how my life was going to go. I was so young — I’m still so young — and I would have felt pretty ridiculous saying something so final.

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I need some advice. I called Levi to tell him that Adrian was admitted into the hospital, and may need surgery. He didn't answer his phone, so I left him a message explaining all of the details and the number that I can be reached at. I haven't heard from him, and I'm not surprised.

Today, however, Levi's sister Erica sent Adrian two bouquets of balloons and two stuffed animals. I didn't tell her that Adrian's in the hospital, so I'm assuming Levi relayed that to her.

I haven't spoken to Erica since Levi informed her that she was not allowed to communicate with me or have a relationship with Adrian. I believe that was back in August.

I'm very disappointed with the way she conducted herself, and I'm disgusted that she allowed Levi to have so much control over her that she stopped speaking to me, or taking any interest in Adrian. I've sort of lumped them all — Levi's family and friends — together in my brain as, to quote George Bush, "the axis of evil". I really hold nothing but contempt for these people.

I don't know what this gesture means. It's confusing the hell out of me and I'd just as soon choose to ignore it. However, some friends and family of mine seem to think that I must at least thank her.

I don't want to thank her. I don't want to engage with these people at all. What do you think? Do I have to say thank you?

Is it a bad thing to seek change while going through a divorce?

I am working at an educational facility, and prior to this divorce proceeding, was working with my ex. When I filed for a restraining order, I spoke to my boss and got transferred into a new department. At first, I thought this move was up my alley, but I realize now that I'm just bored. I just don't foresee the job duties changing in the near future, either.

Something that I love about work is the reciprocation from others, but right now I'm pretty much surrounded by the walls of my cubicle, left alone. This is good in some respects, but I'm essentially bored.

I'd much rather be busy and interacting with people — even if they're not my friends — than alone and left with the devices of a blank computer screen. I miss interaction.

Before I got married, I had visions of what I wanted for my life. Many of those visions haven't changed. I just wonder if it's too soon to start making some changes for myself. I know any change will come with its own set of challenges, but I feel I need to have other people surrounding me now. I feel it will help buffer the bad challenges in my life right now.

I question my intentions and my need for some change, but think I need to go with my gut that says "make a move, it's in your best interests." Is that wrong?

I can't help but be angry about the situation that I'm in. I've been attending a local group that helps women in domestic violence situations. The program is 12 weeks long, and each week there is a different topic.

I'm working on my second "round" of this group. It's interesting how the information presented is the same, but I am able to see the relationship and my feelings in a different light.

For example, the first meeting I attended was about co-dependency and how women can love too much even in situations with any form of abuse — physical or emotional. I now can list behaviors that I participated in that — in my ex's mind — justified treating me the way he did.

The following week we discussed the impact of children — and now I can list specific behaviors. I recently was reintroduced to the segment on anger. At first, I wasn't angry — I hadn't yet dealt with that emotion — but I'm glad I kept the material. Now I have a starting point on how to deal with my anger, and how to use it positively.

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I think its safe to assume that we've all done things that may or may not have contributed to the demise of our marriage — things that cause us guilt. I think it would be great if we could place all the blame on our ex-husbands and accept none of it ourselves — hell, I've been trying to do that for close to a year — but the truth is, we can't.

It may not be 50/50, but it almost always takes two.

I carry around guilt over the fact that I was dishonest with Levi — and man, does he know how to work that. Ladies, seriously it was a stupid, trite lie — the kind of lie that we've probably ALL told at least once. Yup, I lied to Levi about the number of men I'd had sex with. I told him four — the actual number is slightly higher than that.

Years later, when I was pregnant and had quite honestly forgotten about the lie — that's what sucks about lying, you forget — I inadvertently confessed. We both laughed it off at the time, but now it's coming back to bite me — the other problem with lying.

Levi says that if he knew about the number — and seriously, it's fewer than ten — we would have been a "no go." He says he would have never been with me, never married me, and never impregnated me. Therefore, he feels he has no responsibility because our relationship was built under "false pretenses".

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I'm nervous about my upcoming status conference the ones he had very little interest in pre-divorce with the judge. We're meeting for our second emergency motion for custody and visitation. I truly hope that the judge sees my ex for what he is. He's a corrupt individual who's just trying to punish me by taking away my children — and someone who just doesn't care to abide by the rules.

My ex's visitation is standard — every Wednesday evening and alternate weekends. The children are consistently late to school with him, he's careless with them, and has allowed our son to have candy with peanut butter in — and he's allergic to peanuts.

Last Monday, he didn't even feed them breakfast before school, yet he thinks he's going to prove that the children are best with him? The boys relay things he's said about me — either to them or in their presence — and it isn't pretty. Of course, I'm documenting everything.

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