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Learning To Deal With Anger

Posted to Ask the Community by Taylor Raine on Fri, 11/16/2007 - 9:00am

I can't help but be angry about the situation that I'm in. I've been attending a local group that helps women in domestic violence situations. The program is 12 weeks long, and each week there is a different topic.

I'm working on my second "round" of this group. It's interesting how the information presented is the same, but I am able to see the relationship and my feelings in a different light.

For example, the first meeting I attended was about co-dependency and how women can love too much even in situations with any form of abuse — physical or emotional. I now can list behaviors that I participated in that — in my ex's mind — justified treating me the way he did.

The following week we discussed the impact of children — and now I can list specific behaviors. I recently was reintroduced to the segment on anger. At first, I wasn't angry — I hadn't yet dealt with that emotion — but I'm glad I kept the material. Now I have a starting point on how to deal with my anger, and how to use it positively.

Now, there are days where I'm very angry — about how I was treated, about how my children were treated, and how positively I've reacted to the situation. I would always keep my feelings inside and not communicate much to others how I felt. Often, when I'm upset, I exercise  — which is a positive use of energy from anger. I've also found other ways to deal with anger. Is anger just part of divorce? What do you do to vent?

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