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Caught In A Lie

Posted to Ask the Community by Faith Eggers on Thu, 11/15/2007 - 5:00pm
I think its safe to assume that we've all done things that may or may not have contributed to the demise of our marriage — things that cause us guilt. I think it would be great if we could place all the blame on our ex-husbands and accept none of it ourselves — hell, I've been trying to do that for close to a year — but the truth is, we can't.

It may not be 50/50, but it almost always takes two.

I carry around guilt over the fact that I was dishonest with Levi — and man, does he know how to work that. Ladies, seriously it was a stupid, trite lie — the kind of lie that we've probably ALL told at least once. Yup, I lied to Levi about the number of men I'd had sex with. I told him four — the actual number is slightly higher than that.

Years later, when I was pregnant and had quite honestly forgotten about the lie — that's what sucks about lying, you forget — I inadvertently confessed. We both laughed it off at the time, but now it's coming back to bite me — the other problem with lying.

Levi says that if he knew about the number — and seriously, it's fewer than ten — we would have been a "no go." He says he would have never been with me, never married me, and never impregnated me. Therefore, he feels he has no responsibility because our relationship was built under "false pretenses".

I don't really believe that if I had revealed my actual number to him that he would have dumped me — but, I'm not him, I don't know that, and I'm the one who lied.

Yes, we've all done things that cause us guilt — but am I really supposed to believe what he's trying to sell me on now? What do you think?

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