True Mom Confessions
True Mom Confessions
Tips for Divorced Mothers
Recently, truemomconfessions.com shared some of their members’ concerns with firstwivesworld.com, and we agreed to swap content every week. They will provide the confessions, and we will provide the advice.
Here are this week’s confessions.
True Mom Confession:
"I have never been away from my kids before. It’s been one week and I have two more to go. This part of divorce sucks! I miss them so much. I don't think I can make it another two weeks."
FWW response:
Not seeing your kids every day is one of the hardest parts of divorce. Your heart feels split because you and your husband have split. Many women, however, use this time as an opportunity. It’s guilt-free time for you. Yes, you. Visit friends if you need to get out of the house. Luxuriate in a romantic bath. Nestle into bed with lots of magazines. Consider all the things that you don’t do that you now can. Think about your life and hobbies or projects or jobs you want to do. In a way, divorce prepares you to be an empty-nester — except the little ones will come back and you will appreciate them more when they do.
True Mom Confession:
"Part of me wants to move overseas and leave my kid with relatives. I never expected to be a divorced mother, and am not doing very well by myself. My parents both abandoned me as a child, and I survived.... But I can't imagine doing that to another human being. His father already left him, so I can't leave him too."
FWW Response:
Your parents serve as an example of who you want to be, and who you don’t want to be. You may have survived your experience growing up but you did not necessarily thrive as a result. Sometimes it can clear your head just to have time alone without the responsibility of parenthood. Perhaps ask a relative to take your child for a week so you can recharge your emotional batteries. (Then you have to reciprocate and do the same for the relative’s child.) A little space can work wonders in focusing priorities and making you appreciate how lucky you are to have this child. Perhaps you will see that this relationship will be more enduring and satisfying in the long run than relationships with anyone else.
True Mom Confession:
"I'm not the real mother to my kids. They don't even know her. I'm divorced from their father but he lets me stay in their lives and I thank him for that. They will always be MY kids. Some people tell me it isn't a real relationship with the kids...all I have to say is 'F YOU'. They know me as mom and they know I love them and will be there anytime they need me. I might not get to see them much but I call them all the time send them things and go visit as much as I can. That's more than can be said for their egg doner. I love the little munchkins."
FWW response:
No act of love, however small, is wasted. As Mark Twain once said, love is the only thing you can share and it will actually grow bigger.
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