Q & A on Relationships and Astrology

Q & A on Relationships and Astrology

with Constance Stellas

Below, I've answered questions from firstwivesworld.com bloggers. You might find my responses applicable to your life and sign!

From Naomi Dunne: I've always wanted to find out my rising sign (ascendant) but the charts scare me. I'm terrified I'll get the time zone wrong or something and then screw the whole thing up. What's an easy way to find out my rising sign?

Dear Naomi,

First off your chart is nothing to be frightened of, after all it is a cosmic recipe of all the ingredients that have gone into creating YOU. Your rising sign is based on the time of birth because that is when a child interacts with the earth's enviroment for the first time. The rising sign or ascendant is the actual constellation that was on the horizon when a child takes its first breath.

With the computer is is very easy to find out your rising sign. If you go to any of the Websites that calculate charts, and usually they will do this for free, just enter your birth day, year, place, and time. Make the time as accurate as you can. You should be able to find it on your birth certificate or if not, you can contact your state capitol and it will be recorded on the "long form" of your birth certificate. Then press a button and you will see your rising sign, the Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto. The astrology program has corrected for all the necessary data in time changes, daylight savings time, standard time...or whatever the particulars are of your birth time..

You can, of course, order a computerized chart from many Websites...but this is generated by a computer. Having studied astrology for a long time, I believe it is an art and a science. Find an astrologer that you like and work with him or her. It's truly interesting to see how your chart reflects your personality and life events and how you and the chart develop over time.

From Megan Thomas: I'm an Aries, and my husband is a Virgo. I've been engaged twice before, and both of those men were Virgos too. It's not like I go out looking for any particular sign, and I didn't realize until just recently that every man I've ever had a serious relationship with was the same sign. Are Virgos compatible with Aries, or am I setting myself up for failure every time?

Dear Megan,

When you read Sun sign columns or the columns in the newspapers, they only address part of a person's chart...that is the position of the Sun when you were born. So when a person says "I'm an Aries," they mean that the Sun was in the constellation of Aries when they were born. Same with Virgo adn the same with all the other signs.

But each person has the Moon, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto and these planets can be in very different signs from your Sun. SO, you may very well have some planets in Virgo, especially Mars, because that frequently indicates the men in a woman's life and that is why you attract Virgos. As to whether that means you are compatible with Virgo, I would say that there are some pluses and some minuses. Aries is fire and Virgo is Earth. Aries likes to get up and go and go; Virgo likes to plan and think and then act. Aries is enthusiastic; Virgo is concrete. These are not irreconcilable differences.

I am sure that there are areas where you and Virgo get along just fine. Since you are married, you hardly set yourself up for failure. Best advice is to have a compatibility chart done by an astrologer. It is called synastry...meaning looking at the ways the two charts interact. You will see exactly what you and your husband can emphasize to maximize your relationship.

From Julie Savard: I'm a Cancer. The people I get along best with are Pisces. But the people I'm attracted to for intimate relationships are earth signs like the Ram. The worst part is, people with earth signs are the ones I clash the most with! Why do I keep picking people with these signs to try and have relationships with?

Dear Julie,

The water signs Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces, all speak the same language — emotion. When water signs feel comfortable with each other it is because they share feelings. This can work, but too much water just flows all day long and accomplishes very little. Earth people: Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn speak the concrete practical language of the earth. They are sensitive but always want to know the practical applications for experience and how to focus on the task at hand.

Earth and water are a good combo because each element offers opportunities to the other person. You mentioned the Ram...do you mean the goat or Capricorn? The Ram with the curled horns is Aries. If you are speaking about you and Aries, a fire sign, that is a different situation and requires more adjustment and work than Cancer and the earth signs. If you mean Capricorn, in addition to being an earth sign, Capricorn is opposite Cancer and opposites attract. It is a frequent combination and takes some balancing to bring out the best in each other.

The answer to the last part of your question: "Why do I keep picking people with these signs to have relationships with?" could be because you need earth signs to balance your own chart. As I have mentioned to the other bloggers, check out your chart with an astrologer and see what elements you are strong in and what you are weak in. If you understand the "big astrological picture," you might feel better about your choices.

Question: Is it true that certain signs really are more romantically and sexually compatible than others?

Do you mean that certain signs are more romantic and sexual than others? Or that certain signs are more romantically and sexually compatible together than other combinations? The answer to the first question is that all signs can be romantic and sexual...in different ways.

The answer to the second question is — it depends. Some signs really spark each other in romance and between the sheets. There is chemistry, plain and simple. Usually signs that are of the same element, especially fire signs (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius) and earth signs (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) have an easy sexual communication.

There are 144 possible combinations of signs (12 x 12) and then considerations with the Moon, Venus, and Mars. So we have many choices. I encourage people to observe if there are certain signs that you don't relate well to and then check it out with an astrologer so you can learn more about your own chart and what attracts or repels certain people. And...you can take a look at my book, The Everything Book of Sex Signs to see if that clarifies the question.

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