The Over-Scheduled Child: Raising Kids After Divorce

The Over-Scheduled Child: Raising Kids After Divorce

Part 2: Over-scheduling from the Cradle

Posted to Resource Articles by Dr. Alvin Rosenfeld on Thu, 08/14/2008 - 8:57am

Is your child “missing” activities because you can’t afford them, or don’t have time to take him, or the schedule interferes with his father’s visitation? Stop worrying. You may be doing your child a big favor. Less can actually be more.

Here is the second of six articles for FWW by Dr. Alvin Rosenfeld, co-author of “The Over-Scheduled Child.”

Some parents seem to operate on the notion that, if a little is good, a lot must be better. We know what that principle does to our computer when we start adding software!

Many children are enrolled in multiple, non-stop, “one-size-fits all” programs like soccer, music, and learning Mandarin Chinese. The balance between scheduled activities and down time, between enrichment and relationships, can be lost.

And a child’s preferences and temperament may be overlooked in that approach.

Kids are told to become not themselves but the best standard-issue items they can be!

Let me mention a few other ways this over-scheduling madness expresses itself:

• Mozart for babies. Because research supposedly “proved” that listening to Mozart enhanced mathematical ability, former Governor Zell Miller signed a bill to send every Georgia newborn home with a Mozart CD. While that could have been a progressive idea if the research had been valid, the research was actually done on college students, there was no comparison group, and the effect that was very short-lived.

And no one studied whether Mozart was superior to Mahler, Mick Jagger, whale songs, or the Dixie Chicks. What if “experts” found that what promoted children’s brain development was Gangsta Rap? Would parents play that in nurseries all day?

• Baby Einstein, multimedia toys and products for babies, starting at three months. Whose child isn’t a genius? However, while the adult Albert Einstein was a genius, he talked late, did poorly at school, and had a headmaster who said he would never amount to anything. If little Albert were a kid today, his parents likely would send him for a comprehensive evaluation: By 7 he would be on Ritalin. He might not invent the theory of relativity, but he sure would pay more attention to fourth grade math! And if you want a Baby Van Gogh? I love the man’s art but think his mental illness might be something to steer children away from.

• Homework overload. Under pressure from parents, suburban schools have increased homework for even young children. Yet no empirical research has detected any correlation between the amount of homework elementary school students do and later achievement. In fact, some studies maintain that too much homework may actually hurt¬ school performance. But facts do not override cherished beliefs, so the homework increases.

• Grade school assignments make some parents full-time homework helpers. As a result, there are schools that have had to divide the way projects, like second-grade dioramas, are graded. There’s one grade for those the child clearly made. And another grade for those projects that parents seem to have helped with, because Josh’s zebra habitat looks like it was designed by Frank Lloyd Wright.

• The Bell Curve does not apply. America’s schools have become Garrison Keillor’s Lake Woebegone: No school-aged child is average. Each is either gifted or learning disabled. And if they are not gifted, it is probably because they should be taking Adderall.

• In high school, the over-scheduled mentality has adolescents sleep-deprived as they rush between activities, endless homework, and the requisite community service. Ambitious high school students are exhausted! They often think they can get by on five or six hours of sleep, even though experts say that sleep deprivation has negative effects on behavioral control, emotions, and attention.

 

Related Content:

Click the following for Raising Kids After Divorce: Part 3: Over-scheduling and Sports

Click the following to return a directory of articles and resource videos on Kids, Family and Divorce.

“The Over-Scheduled Child: Avoiding the Hyper Parenting Trap,” by Alvin Rosenfeld and Nicole Wise, can be purchased in paperback through Amazon.