The Over-Scheduled Child: Raising Kids After Divorce
The Over-Scheduled Child: Raising Kids After Divorce
Part 3: Over-scheduling and Sports
Is your child “missing” activities because you can’t afford them, or don’t have time to take him, or the schedule interferes with his father’s visitation? Stop worrying. You may be doing your child a big favor. Less can actually be more.
Here is the third article for FWW by Dr. Alvin Rosenfeld, co-author of “The Over-Scheduled Child.”
Parents wear their frazzled exhaustion as merit badges.
We see this in everyday life. We ask a friend about her kids’ activities and despite being frazzled looking, she proudly answers, “Monday-soccer and math tutoring, Tuesday, soccer then piano, Wednesday religious school, Thursday – long soccer practice, but Friday is free, which leaves the weekend for soccer games both days because Liz was so good she was selected to be on the travel team.”
You feel exhausted just listening to this list. Imagine how poor Liz feels! And a divorced mom does all this with less money while trying to balance the details two parents used to handle.
Other than in video games, adults have colonized what traditionally was children’s after-school world. Kids want to play sports, but they don’t necessarily want to be judged on how they play.
As Fred Engh — head of the National Alliance for Youth Sports — points out, 78 percent of young children would rather play for a losing team than warm the bench for one that wins.
Kids have fun playing, can develop an ease with their bodies, learn about teamwork and sportsmanship, enhance their self esteem if they are good athletes, and find a physical activity that gives them pleasure and a sense of physical well-being for the rest of their lives.
The American Academy of Pediatrics warned parents about the dangers of young kids competing in demanding, incredibly competitive sports. They strongly advised that children play multiple sports and specialize in one, if they must, only after puberty.
Despite their warning, competitive pressure has insinuated itself even into soccer leagues for 4 year olds.
By age 10, towns “cherry-pick” travel and premier teams. A recent article stated that, “at least 300,000 sports concussions occur in children annually.”
Yet soccer coaches still ask their young players to head the ball. Football and hockey players with multiple concussions often keep their injury secret because they think they won’t get recruited for college teams if they don’t keep playing.
Some 11-year-old pitchers hurl up to 90 games a season. Though the number of innings in each is limited, the fallout is substantial.
Orthopedic surgeons report a dramatic increase in recreation-linked bone fractures, dislocations, and muscle injuries among 5 to 14 year olds. Is it winning if you need both your shoulders replaced in your 30s, as one elite gymnast I met had to?
Since many kids hate the pressure, are only local-team quality, or don’t get much playing time, by age 13, 73 percent of them drop out of sports. Ironically, the resulting lack of exercise may be contributing to America’s obesity epidemic.
Related Content:
Click the following for Raising Kids After Divorce Part 4: Over-Scheduling and Self-Esteem
Click the following to return a directory of articles and resource videos on Kids, Family and Divorce.
“The Over-Scheduled Child: Avoiding the Hyper Parenting Trap,” by Alvin Rosenfeld and Nicole Wise, can be purchased in paperback through Amazon.
Comments
Post new comment