How Much Will Divorce Cost Me?

How Much Will Divorce Cost Me?

An overview of four key ways to get divorced and the costs involved

Posted to by Lili Vasileff on Tue, 02/03/2009 - 3:46am

Divorce costs in the United States vary, but one expert estimates a cost range for divorce between $10,000 and $20,000, with an average of $15,000.

Sadly, most couples fail to budget for a divorce like they would for a wedding or funeral. They fail to do sufficient research, and their expectations about the cost of divorce are based on hearsay and generalities. In fact, costs can be managed by clients to a large degree, but not totally so.

When someone says, "I want the least costly divorce possible", what do they mean and really want? Too frequently, the old adage "you get what you pay for" is not only true, but dangerous. Aiming to find the cheapest divorce possible should not be the prime motivating factor for anyone in a contested divorce.

The risks of cutting a deal on the "cheap" may have not only short-term risks, but long-term financial consequences that cannot ever be "undone". Property division is a one shot deal for the rest of your life.

The "what ifs" are both the most painful and avoidable elements in divorce, and everyone should face them head on. While you can research some of these "what ifs" yourself, I strongly suggest embracing the opportunity to work with a divorce financial planner. This is the expert you want and need during divorce to make strategic recommendations in a cost-efficient manner in any legal setting.

Here are the four main ways to get a divorce, in order of their general costs:

DIY or Pro Se. The least expensive divorce is the do-it-yourself or pro se. This means both parties literally negotiate, settle, and arrange for their own divorce. As can be imagined, this works best for short-term marriages with no children, few complications, little assets, and at best, in uncontested situations.

Mediation. The next least expensive method is mediation. A mediator is a neutral party whose hourly fees and business models vary greatly. The mediation process is defined at the outset and costs are identified. Mediators rely upon the couple to produce almost all of the information and financial discovery, and come up with issues of concern. A mediator facilitates the couple in reaching a settlement that best suits both of their needs/desires. Many states require that both parties hire outside review counsel to ensure they have not forfeited their rights unknowingly and to ensure the process is unbiased.

Collaborative Divorce. Next is collaborative divorce, where there may be two attorneys, two coaches, one financial specialist, and a child specialist. Collaborative divorce does not promote itself as a low cost process, but instead as a more holistic approach. It is a team dedicated to guiding clients to reach an amicable settlement with both parties' interests met to the fullest extent possible. It emphasizes family relationships being intact post-divorce. Each divorce professional charges his/her own hourly rates and may require individual retainers. However, there are no court fees for serving motions or discovery demands; only at the very end do the attorneys file their appearance in court. If for any reason, the couple fails in this process, the entire team is disallowed from representing either spouse, and divorce process starts all over again at full cost to the couple.

Litigated. The most traditional and costly divorce is litigated. Each spouse hires his/her own attorney who advocates for them, files court motions, court appearances, papers, and hires other experts. There are court fees, marshal fees, filing fees, etc. Litigating attorneys may be reasonable or outrageous in terms of billable hours. It is what the market bears. Litigating attorneys may work well with the opposing attorney to reach an expeditious settlement or they may choose to "milk" the case for fees. If the case goes to trial, costs become prohibitive.

However, the choice of legal representation is only part of the cost of divorce. Divorce costs are shaped equally by these powerful factors:

1. The clients' own behaviors, specifically their lack of financial knowledge.

2. The nature and financial complexity of the case itself.

3. The necessity of having experts involved to value a business, licenses, earning capacity, assets, projections for future lifestyle needs.

4. Legal professionals may fire their own clients. Clients bear the costs of hiring and restarting the process anew.

5. Court scheduling, availability of all parties, time for producing information, etc. contribute to the duration and cost of divorce.

This is why the expertise of divorce financial planners is essential during divorce: To help budget for this process; source funds to pay for divorce; educate clients and professionals about complex financial issues; analyze choices with greater expertise and less expensively than lawyers; produce precise analysis for desired outcomes; and provide counseling to clients post divorce. This is what you get when you pay for it!

Click the following for more articles and resourceful tips on Getting A Divorce

Comments

Help

I have been married for only 2 going on 3 years. We have a two year old ddaughhter. I have been seriously considering divorce because it seems like I can't do anything right. We live with his parents and it's like he doesn't even want to get a job. He doesn'tdoesn't want toto research college. All he wants to do is stay up all night playing video games only to go to bed when our daughter wakes up. When I bring up how I feel about these things it ends up a fight and me feeling like I was just overreacting and being silly. I just applied to college for the coming summer because I'm tired of telling myself it will get better. I don't have many friends or family. We have no money (obviously) I just don't know what else to do ... I'm only 20, going on 21

lost

Me and my husband used to be so close like wed talk about everything we lovedeach other and our kids. Anymore he's never there he forgot my birthday and I spent our anniverssery alone while he went out. We don't talk and I'm ignorant for askin him to be there for me. I can't do it anymore. But I can't hurt the kids. Do I live the a marriage full of fighting everyday or leave...help me please.

wtf?

My boyfriend is married to his friend to fix her legal status in the US , they been married since June , now he wants to divorce, they both agree ,will this still Cost 10-20k?

Military spouse who needs help

I have been married to my husband for 12 yrs and we have two kids. Everything we have is accumulated during our marriage. I have given up a lot including my family , friends, great jobs and we've had 5 pcs orders for the 13 yrs he has been in the army. I have been the father and the mother for our children while he was getting a bachelors degree in business and while he was deployed and while he was busy drinking, watching porn, having affaires. I have had to put up with a lot and had no support system and have been isolated through out the yrs. At every dutu ststions that we have been i have gone to counseling to deal with my husbands behavior and I have caught my spouse watching pornography on a daily basis for hours on the family computer while myself and our children are in the next room and he has totaled a car because of alcohol, he has had emotional and sexual infidelities through out our marriage. I have begged him to go to counseling but has has refused and now I'm with out a job due to moving to a new duty station and I want to get separated and move back to my hometown Alexandria Virginia but he refuses to help me financially. I do not know what to do because I do not have any money so can some one please guide me through these difficulties that I'm facing. Thank you

mistake

I married my husband only 6 months ago..and as soon as the honeymoon was over he be American a completely different person...he lets his father control every move he makes, he refuses to get a real job, and he's very mean and controlling...I'm really worried about things getting worse and if I were to have a child with this man I'm stuck...I don't have much money...I'm barely out of college..we have no assests together...I only want what was mine before the marriage began...I really need help knowing how to persue this as quick and easy as possible

Yikes! Trust your instincts.

Yikes! Trust your instincts. Get out! You are young and have many options

Sorry...I meant he

Sorry...I meant he became...my spell check:/

Prenup

Preup came valid..The guy is worth 35 million. Married for 10 years. Known him( worked under him for 25 years in a farm). Now he has filed for a divorce and only willing to give 20 thousand. The lady does not have a house and have moved in with her daughter. The lady works at a dry cleaners making 8 bucks an hour. She has metal hip . . .and hardly any savings. What are her options? She lives in Minnesota. Can she go to court..what are her options? how much will it cost her..already gone thru a lawyer.. and the lawyer says take 20 thousand.. It's been two months and the guy has refused to give her anything. What are the chances that she gets some form of alimony from this guy? Thanks.

I need help

I'm not sure if this is the right forum for this but I need as much help as I can get. Ok here goes...My husband and I have been married almost 15 years. It's had many rocky roads but we have managed to keep it together. There are many issues the biggest being my step daughter..she has no respect, lies about alot of important things and is a complete slob. She works part-time and treats my home like a hotel where she comes and goes as she pleases. I just recently found out that her boyfriend is in jail and she won't tell us where or why he is. She's smoking pot and whatever else they do these days. I also have an 11 yr old that is very influenced by her and I am afraid for her. My husbands parental skills have not faired well with my stepdaughter...I want her to move out and he says no. She's 22 yrs old and completely destroying our family. If she doesnt go the fighting will continue and I'll be miserable, if she does go then my husband will resent me for pushing her out (although for him this is not an option). The only way is to split up. We are deep in debt and I don't know what to do. Please help

Yoir own daughter first priority

Consult with an attorney to understand how to protect your financial interests. Consult with a family therapist to discuss how to protect your daughter and to undrestandl the dynamics of your situation. You need to protect your own child from the effects of your step daughters influence. The rest of her life is at stake. Hopefully your husband will agree to go with you so you both can work together, but my guess is he will avoid it or go bit not follow through with recommendations...he's already allowed too much and clearly has objected, even passively, to doing anything. It's a tough love situation. Sometimes the only way to wake up the spouse is to have them realize they are about to lose their wife. It may hurt to see him chose his 1st daughter over his second, and his second marriage, but settling for less than what you desire for a relationship is not heallthy either. Be sure to speak with yoir daughter carefully about your concerns in a caring way rather than angry or accusatory way to minimize backlash of the other family member resistance (which usually is to accuse you of being mean, critical, and unloving). Sometimes being the most loving can be the hardest thing. Allowing things such as drug use etc is not the most loving thing...it is costly and life altering when it is not addressed - at the expense of relationships. Go to alanon and have tour daughter go to and listen to ala-teen...

I want out

I have been married fir 10 long yrs...my wife a nurse chooses not to work but wants to complain about everything. She hates my hrs and the job I have...I earn good $but its all about her..she hates me working over time and yet she want the nightly dinner of 60$the or more..we eat out atleast 9+ nights a good week..and sumtimes lunch if im off ...2 boys and I hate toleave them w her and all her crying and cursing me or having them I want my sons w me...I don't want support from her..and she can see them when she wants jus want out...help

Need help ASAP

I've been married for 10 yrs. had 2 kids with my husband. The youngest with severe developmental delays and orthopedic problems. My child's health required me to stay at home and takecare of him. My husband bullied me out of the house. Afraid for my safety and the safety of my kids, I left the house and the city I lived in while married. I retained a lawyer but didn't file any papers yet. I know that my husband is wiring all his money and assets overseas, he is worth more than a million dollars. If i start the divorce process or not, I'm afraid of 2 option: 1. My husband will fight me and drag the case for as long as he can. He has the money to waste and i have $0 2. one day my husband will leave overseas when all the money and all assets been transferred. I'm really worried about going in major debts paying my lawyer who probably can only help me getting divorce...any thoughts???

Fast

You need an attorney and you need one fast! The longer you wait, the more damage your husband can do in so far as hiding assets and strengthening his position. You have as much right to assets as your husband does. If you feel you cannot afford an attorney, you may surprise yourself as to how many great attorneys will take you as a client and get paid later by your husband. Find the best, strongest, and aggresive attorney out there. Call them, explain the situation, and let him explain what he can offer. Again, Time is not your friend. Work fast, grab as many assets as you can, and let the attorney guide you through the steps. Please, for the sake of yourself and your children, call an attorney!!

Divorce

I have been married for 10 months we have no children, and I don't want any of his property. How much will it cost for us to get a divorce, I can't stand him he is a flirt. I can't believe I got married to him Iam tired of him please I would appreciate to get some advice if anybody knows what to do in my situation.

I know exactly what you

I know exactly what you mean.. Ive been with my husband for a year and now I can't do it anymore.. I just want a divorce and never see him again.. I regret marrying him

divorce have applied for legal aid

wad with my ex for 10 years married for 2 tears, after his affair and infecting me, he left the country leaving me with the bills, etc and ill. I have no icome at the moment, as I lost my job through redundency. and ill health, He is a director good salary excellent pension, company shares etc. when he left he wrote a financial agreement to support me. signed. and also a letter apologising for the affair and medical consequences signed. he never honored this agreement. that was one year ago. now hes suing me for divorce knowing i cant afford lawyer. His lawyer is his ex sister in law. I tied for mediation and to try non contested. they ignored this. Have all the paperwork. He told me when he left he was not interested in divorce and lawyers, waste of money, he said this to prepare himself and hide earnings. next month there are two criminal cases against him in court, for pyhsical abuse against me. they will be heard before the divorce hearing. so what will the judge make of this knowing I have no funds to fight this? He prefers to waste his money on legal fees rather than pay a small spousal support. would appreciate a legal viewpoint on how to prepare myself

Mediation is Less $$

My lawyer--who is an angel, really--sat down at our first meeting and went through each of the divorce types listed above and gave me the price breakdown of what I can expect to pay in New Jersey. I was basically in a writing panic by the end of this conversation, but here's a key takeaway: because going through the divorce requires a division of assets, it's part of these assets that will go toward satisfying all your legal costs. If you don't have $15K sitting in a bank account, know that part of the proceeds from your house can be put towards your lawyer, etc. They know how to set it all up and it's less stress. I just wouldn't want anyone to think that just because you're not liquid doesn't mean you can get a good lawyer! BTW, in New Jersey, private divorce mediation -- http://www.weinbergerlawgroup.com/Mediation/Private-Mediation.html -- is definitely the cheapest of the three options!

While it's interesting to

While it's interesting to note the legal costs of a divorce, what about the external/secondhand costs? Things such as paying for movers, childcare, and most importantly opportunity cost. The time the parent who has primary custody could create a situation that takes away time that could go towards advancing education and a career. Clearly, for some, losing ground in what is already a stale economy is not an option, so instead of one's career that suffers, it is instead one's health. This is another potential cost of divorce: medical and/or counseling bills. Those that don't have kids, while I don't envy the fact you are getting divorced, just be glad that you can start over with a lot less complication.

Divorce and a 9month old

I am planning on filing for divorce..I have a nine month old and my husband is going to fight me for joint custody.If I am able to produce proof that he is taking steriods and has a violent temper will I be able to secure full custody?..i really do not want anything else from him.I just do not want my daughter around that monster or the women he is seeing.I have been stalked by Jackie Buffo and others..i just want my child.

Beware

Stop before you even start, though it is probably already too late. A person as a partner/spouse/adult versus the person as a parent are two VERY different things. Keep in mind that a daughter gets a huge amount of her identy and self confidence from her father. He may be an SOB in all matters regarding you, and have poor taste in women, but that does not take away his role as an important figure for your daughter. Building a case for an incapable parent will leave years, if not decades of damage that your poor daughter will eventually navigate and you will very likely be the one to lose in the long term--and your daughter as well. This is definitely a moment of long-term loss for short-term gains and sometimes you have to take the high road, bite your lip[, build your new life with kindness and tolerance, and allow your daughter to have a love and appreciation of her father independent of your experience. It will benefit her greatly. Studies have shown that children in joint custody situations fair equally to their peers from intact marriages while children in sole custody or limited access to one parent situations fair very poorly. Think about your long term goals for your daughter. Save the fight and the money for her college and other needs, though it is probably too late.

divorce my husband n marry my boyfriend

I am married Indian citizen and I've been sitting at home doing nothing my husband goes away in the morning and returns back at night,in the mean time I fell in love with other guy and my husband got to know about my relation ship. Now I want to divorce my husband and get married to my boyfriend... Currently I live in us...

Pack your bags

It looks like you may be deported. Bad idea destroying your husband's life.

Divorce from another state

I have a friend who is incarcerated in another state than his spouse, he has found out she has cheated on him and she has told him she is pregnant with another mans kid. He like i said is incarcerated but wants a divorce or annulment but isnt sure how to do so being incarcerated, let alone in another state. They had seperated a few months after their marriage and he moved to another state. If any one can help me with some information to send him that would be wonderful.

don't let it go over $3,000-5,000

Ok, call me an ego maniac, but if there is one thing I've learned throug my divorce process, it is that if I do my homework and agree to work with the ex on a settlement agreement - the costs go WAY down. Attorneys are in it to make money, not necessarily to get you a quick, cheap, good deal. You have to be your own advocate. I caught huge errors that were made by our mediator, and through doing my own research, went against her advice on certain issues and saved thousands of dollars for both me and my ex. Don't look to divorce attorneys or mediators as experts - they have biases and make errors - you have to do your own research. And if you want to save money - take a big gulp and try to do as much of the agreement with your ex as you can outside of an attorney's office. Remember, the more you fight and disagree - the more the attorneys make - so it is in an attorneys best interest to kick up a fight. Good luck. Oh, one more thing - DO pay for more than one outside actuarial valuation of pensions. Sometimes mediators with a bias - say towards the high earner- will deliberately use an actuarial firm that comes in with low estimates. I've seen it. The variance in estimates can be astounding. Also, some mediators will "forget" to advise the spouse getting half of the other spouse's pension that they make take it as a monthly payment rather than a lump sum. If you live to old age, the monthly payment is always the more lucrative way to go. And if you don't live to old age, who cares anyway. Just sayin'

I do agree about 90% of what

I do agree about 90% of what you had to say. However, I strongly disagree with your position on the pension issue. I retired from the military after serving 21 years. As the situation between my wife and I looks as it may very well lead to the big "D", my wife was only married to me for a little over ten years of my career. We are both relatively young, she 34, I'm 43 and I do not feel I should have to surrender 40% of my pension for the rest of my life. After all, I'm the one with the Purple Heart.

Divorce

How much will a divorce cost? If there are no assets,no children involved and both parties agree to it?

how much will I pay for a divorce?

First question I asked myself when I went through my divorce. The answer varies, but it depends on a lot of things. If you go for an expensive divorce attorney, it could grow beyond the average cost, especially if you and your soon-to-be-ex can't easily agree and things get bumpy. I personally recommend going with a mediator, but you still need a lawyer of some sort .. but it will cut down on the cost.

divorce will cost you more than you think!

Even though they say the average is about 1$0-15k, you can easily find it exceeding that. Prepare for the worst, just in case.

how much does a divorce cost?

It often can cost much more than you think. The problem that often causes this is fighting and disagreements that can often go along with a divorce ... which you really have to protect yourself against. Because the only one that benefits in that case is the attorney.

Divorce Budget?

So does the cost of divorce vary significantly based on region of the country and divorce attorney. And, if so, how can you be sure that you're getting a good attorney at a value price...or is it worth it to spend the extra for a more aggressive attorney?

Divorce

My husband has filed for divorce. We live in Texas and I need a good attorney so that I can get what is right and he continue to help me financially. How can I find a good attorney here in south Texas, specially the Rio Grande Valley.

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