14 Key Factors Courts Consider in Determining Child Custody

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My fiance has similar situations...is the non custodial parent to his daughter and he gets her every other weekend and 1 time during the week. They filed their divorce papers on 1/24/12. She got primary custodian, He pays her $600 per month child support, as well as splitting the daycare which is $100.00 biweekly and she gets to claim her every year at tax time as a dependent. What this also means is, whatever he pays in for daycare he is not able to claim because you have to claim the child as a dependent before you can get any childcare credit back in a refund. Her mother is remarried and has been since June 2012. He has 3 children ages 15 (girl), 10 (girl), and 6 (boy). He has shared custody of his children and they are with him 7 full days a week and then they're with their mother 7 full days in rotation as so. In addition the the children they already have including my fiance's daughter, they have a new baby (boy) due May 9th. (I know...they didn't waste any time) The problem is, is they have a 1200 square foot house; 3 bedroom, 1 bathroom where the children ranging in different ages are sharing 2 bedrooms of the 3. They have my fiance's daughter sharing a room with the 6 yr old boy and the two older girls sharing a room. When he's addressed this issue she has stated that while his children are there for the week, his son sleeps in the room with the older daughter but that his bed and belongings are in the room with my fiance's daughter. Which we thought was kind of strange? That child would never be able to sleep in his own bed when he visits with his Daddy a week at a time? So...this has been an issue of concern. The fact that they do not have adequate housing for a family this size as well as adding a new baby. They don't even have the capacity to hold them all at one time to travel anywhere...they have to take 2 vehicles to go anywhere as a family. I know that things are expensive etc and some people just can't afford it, but he doesn't pay child support since he shares custody and she drives a 5 passenger lexus suv and they planned this baby so...they knew what they were doing... The other issues are not sending jackets for her to wear even when going to daycare and it's 30 degrees. The biggest of all is the fact that he was driving down a main road that leads to their road in his work truck and he happens to look down the road and see her on her bike in the middle of the road with what looked like no supervision...as any concerned parent would do, he immediately turned his truck around to see if she was with her mother. As he approached the house, he sees his daughter and no one else but her 6 year old step-brother. He asked the little boy to please go in and get her mother. When she came out, she had an astonished look on her face. He asked her what she was doing playing outside by herself? She didn’t reply to his question so he proceeded to let her know that he found her in the road riding her bike and she turned and looked at their daughter and said, “what are you doing in that road, you know better than that?” He told her, that she was only 3 years old and needed adult supervision any time she is outside playing. She is not capable of comprehending the dangers of playing outside by herself, let alone in the road. A 6 year old does not have the responsibility or maturity level to watch her by himself either. He's also had people that live in her neighborhood tell him that they have seen her in the road riding her bike at different times. Then last but not least there have been times when his daughter has said things like, “I don’t ever get to see my Mama, or I haven’t seen my Mama in a long time.” When he asks her why, the responses were because she spent the night with her “Grandma” (her mother) or with her “Mimi” (her grandmother). Giving the age that she is this gives her more than the “normal” separation anxiety and is not in a routine where she should be with either her mother or with her daddy during the school/work week. This is a concern for us and appears that maybe her mother being the primary custodial parent is too much for her to handle. There have been times that she has told us that her step-father yells at her. This too bothers him and myself very much and he's also addressed this with her mother and told her yelling at her to get her to do something was inappropriate parenting and that he’d rather she and him stick to the discipline of their daughter. Needless to say the bike deal was the straw that broke the camel's back and he's meeting with his lawyer as we speak to amend the papers for shared custody, child support, daycare expenses and rotating the years to claim her as a dependent so that it's fair for both of them and then she's better off as well...we think...so I guess we will see what happens...I know I didn't really answer your question but like myself it's good to see that others are going through the same issues and feel helpless. I hope you and I both find some answers soon and get some help with these delicate issues...good luck.

Yes, Same thing happened with my ex and I. When the court found out that our son was in fact staying the night with his parents, while he was at work(He too worked odd hours) on his time to have with him too. The court will always want the child to be with the other parent before grandparents, baby sitters etc especially over night.. Yes, he is most likely doing it for child support reasons considering they are based upon over nights. My ex did this too for that reason, and it dramatically effected child support. Go after him for custody, because you will win if it is for that reason.You are the childs Mother, and he should be with you before anyone else.

Having gone down this road that you are on I want to tell you that if the child was born in Massachusetts and you have reamined in that state according to the UCCJEA ( Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act) Massachusetts is the home state and any modifications to child custody under this law are to be made in Massachesetts. Check out the UCCJEA and get an attorney. Hoping all goes well.

I'm n the same exact situation you have. I used to reside in California where my son was born but afyer his first year i left his abusive father and moved bavk to Florida (my home town). We had a verbal agreement that my son was able to ho see him every summer,so i never took him to court or did anything in writting,,the first year was find my son got picked up in FL NY his Dad and 2 months later i went and.picked him up in Ca. The following year we the same but this.time he wanted my son to stay longer,i agreed that was the worst.mistake of my life,he then went to CA family court asking for sole.custody without me knowing.whenui arrived to pick my son up i got served with court orders and i was unable to take my son out of the state until seen a judge in court. This was in march and court was svhedule for he didn't even let me see my son and i had to return back.to .FL i hired a.lawyer from CA abd even tho my son had lived with me in FL and had gone to daycare in Fl,and i had a good job,my own house and no history of problems.the CA court gave primary custody to him. And visitation for me to see my son a week at a time whenever i was in CA also i had to notify his dad 2 weekd in advance if i was bringing my son to FL on vacation i was allowed just 1 week. And there inly reason was because the judge said that afyer 6 mo.in the state of.California they have the jurisdiction over the child and that because my child was 3 yrs old at.that time he was already adjusted to his dad and his grandmother and they couldn't take him out of that comfort zone that thay wouldn't be good for the child. in march is going to be a year since this night mare startwd for me,he doesn't even follow court orders and im going to take him to court soon for that and also for not letting me bring my son on vacation to Fl. So my best advice for.you is to go the court wherw your son and his fatjer reside and acuse hin of kidnapping your son and you want sole custody,explain that.you don't reside therw and he is not letting you see your son. don't wait.to long the.longer you wait the harder it qould get. Good luck. And never give up!

I'm in your shoes now. My STBX did that. He wanted me to also pay him the daycare $$ to him "so he could pay it for me". Wanted retroactive child support going back to point we were still living together, etc. These are not the old school me some of us were raised by. This is a new generation who is turning the tables on women for $$. Why? Well, IMHO a) ego. If you left him, anyway he can crush you publicly is ok b) ensuring you finance his lifestyle and not the other way around (e.g., gambling, women, etc) c) form of control...this is esp in cases where there was abuse and you are breaking free from it I got some sage advice from my brother in regards to men like this - publicity. Very few respect a man who is willing to use their children for $$. Make sure all know the deal whether he wins the case or not. Also note who is really watching the kids. I did that and in return, I found some interesting tidbits on how the potential $$ was going to be spent and just who is really watching the kids in my case. The court of public opinion is often not used enough.