I recently attended a lecture about the workings of the human brain, specifically in regard to memory. During the lecture we were each asked to think back at to our earliest memory, then we were asked if we were seeing ourselves, as if looking at a picture, or if we were looking out, like we see things every day. Everybody said that they were seeing themselves.

Apparently this is because in order to keep a memory we must replay it over and over again, transferring it from one brain receptor to the the following. If you are seeing a memory as a picture, that is what your brain has done. I find all of this completely fascinating.

And of course, it got me thinking about Levi. What if I could just get rid of all of the memories that I have of him? Wouldn't that be fantastic?!

I find that the things I remember the most — the memories that really stick out — are not the "major" ones you'd think. Not the wedding, not the first "I love you," not the first kiss. They're the small, sometimes silly things.

I remember I told him that we were having a boy and he jumped up and down like a little kid. (I guess that one is a big one.)

I remember watching him dance alone at some bar in Manhattan looking like a total fool.

I remember some of our conversations absolutely verbatim, while most days I can't remember what I had for breakfast.

In all of these memories, I am looking out. Apparently this means that they are "fresh" memories, and have not yet needed to be relearned for storage purposes.

So what if I just never relearned them when the time came? What if I made a pact with myself to somehow erase the memory of Levi from my life?

Has anyone ever seen that movie Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind? It would be kind of like that.

What if somebody told you that they could erase all memories of your ex for you? Would you do it?