My classes started a few days ago and I was pleasantly surprised. All of this time I've been thinking — or rather, stressing out — that I may have gotten in over my head. "Taking 12 credits over the summer is highly ambitious," said the advisor. "Are you sure you're going to be able to fit it all in?" she asked.

I have a tendency to do that. I get excited about something and really overload myself. I like to get a jump on things. I like to finish first.

These classes are going to be relatively easy, though. The professors are really great, the coursework is interesting to me, and now, I'm really excited.

I was talking to a new friend about Adrian yesterday. I told her how looking back, I don't know how I've done what I've done so far.

It seems almost unbelievable to me now that I gave birth, took care of an infant, moved around and have been working full time, all by myself. I don't know how I did it. I do know that now, as a result, I am a coffee addict. But hey, whatever gets you through, right?

But the truth is, I do know how I did it. I wanted to do it.

As if I didn't have enough going on already, I decided to add more to my plate. Something major.

I've decided to go to school. I've wanted to learn cinematography and film production for quite some time, and now I'm finally going to do it.

I stumbled across the program a few months ago while doing some research on the Internet. Of course, like anything of its kind, it's pretty expensive. However, they had some information on the site pertaining to grants and other sources of financial aid so I decided to go for it, and I applied.

It was a daunting application complete with questions like "Why should we give this money to you?" and "Explain your commitment and desire to be in the film program." The last question was an essay. I did the best that I could — it took me all day — and sent it on it's way. I didn't get my hopes up, though.

So I was shocked when I received the letter that I had been selected for not one, but two grants. They cover the cost of attendance and then some. I'm also taking out a few student loans so that I can spend more time focusing on this.

I enrolled in the accelerated summer program, so that I can start earlier, cram a bunch in, therefore finishing quicker. I always have enjoyed moving fast.

This is going to be great. It's going to give me something to focus on, something more important than Levi and all of his bullshit. There are some fabulous classes that are going to provide me with excellent opportunities for creativity. And I'm going to learn how to do something that I know that I will love doing.

Classes start May 19. I can't tell you how excited I am to finally be doing something good for myself.

Despite all of my usual daily drama/trauma involving Levi, I also have a million — okay, actually four — projects that I'm trying to get off the ground.

To accomplish this, I've got a gazillion — okay, another exaggeration — meetings a day. My phone is ringing non stop, my inbox is jammed full — loaded with personal e-mails and with business e-mails.

It's great that my projects are getting so much attention, but damn I suddenly feel like there needs to be at least three of me! Then, to top it off, I got dreadfully sick — sinus infection and strep throat — could barely move, and still had to take care of Adrian. What a mess!

Has anyone ever tried to be three places at once, take care of a baby, and be sick, all at the same time? I never have before, and its not something I'd like to try again! I have a whole new respect for single mothers now. Wait, scratch that — for mothers in general.

Anyway, with all the madness, the phone calls, meetings and e-mails, comes progress. With all the progress comes accomplishment, and finally, a new found sense of self. I'm so glad I've finally taken these steps. Steps that I believe, if I Levi and I had stayed together, would never have been taken. For that, I am truly grateful.

So it seems as if the universe does have a plan, that perhaps everything does happen for a reason. I have discovered a strength in myself that I didn't ever realize existed.

I am only just beginning to live up to my full potential. Funny how sometimes it takes something so traumatic to open our eyes, and finally allow ourselves to realize that we are perfect, as imperfect as we are.

So I'm working like crazy and it feels great! I've really tapped into my creative side, and I’ve found an amazing outlet and it’s so fulfilling.

I was on the phone with a girlfriend the other day discussing all of my current projects. Her response was "Damn, girl, how many fires do you have burning at once?" The answer to that is: a lot.

I have so many ideas, so many things going at once, that I've actually started writing them down. Anyone who knows me knows that ordinarily I'm quite disorganized, and I don't write things down.

The point is, I'm proud of myself — I don't think I've ever felt really proud of myself before. I'm amazed with myself for having the ability, somewhere deep in there, to go through what I did with Levi, to make it to this point — to come out of it a few months later and still have a smile on my face.

I'm proud of myself for being such a great mom to Adrian, especially because I was so scared that I would never be able to do it by myself. I'm even kind of proud of myself for giving birth to such a beautiful amazing little boy.

I'm proud of myself for finally following my dream, for taking control of my life, for getting somewhere. I'm proud and amazed that I didn't give up.

I think it’s about time that we all start giving ourselves props. What about you? What makes you proud of yourself?