Q & A on Legalizing Divorce
Q & A on Legalizing Divorce
with Laurie Puhn
Here are my answers to questions posted by firstwivesworld.com bloggers:
From Megan Thomas: Is there such a thing as an actual "legal separation" where you file legal documents and a petition and such, or are people considered legally separated when they live apart?
Megan: Living apart is different from being legally separated. Although both situations may feel the same, i.e. you and your husband live in different places, the meaning and implications of each choice is different. When you have a signed legal separation agreement that resolves all financial, child and spousal issues associated with the marriage, you have greater legal protection. In addition, you can use your legal agreement to outline rights you want to retain, such as retaining your ownership in the original home, despite moving out. You and your spouse remain married when you are legally separated, but should you choose to get a divorce, all of the details have already been worked out. Note that states handle the legal separation differently. For instance, in New York, if you have a legal separation for 1 year, then you can file for a no-fault divorce. If you go straight into a divorce without having been legally separated, then you must have a fault divorce. Check on your state's laws regarding the meaning of a legal separation.
From Julie Savard: I left my husband a few months back, but I'm running out of money. He's not paying child support for the kids, and I don't know what to do. Who can help me get the money he owes me?
Julie: You can help you get the money! Determine the right courthouse in your community to seek a child support order. Ask the clerk how to file "pro se" (meaning you self-represent) for child support or hire an attorney if you choose. You will need to serve papers on your husband and then there will be a court hearing at which both of you submit financial information. The judge will determine the amount of child support he owes you based on national guidelines that are very specific. You can ask the judge to garnish his wages so that the child support payments go straight to you from his employer.
From Alice Brooks: What is the difference between a "settlement" and "alimony"? Is it still a 'settlement' and not alimony if my ex-husband is paying me monthly?
Alice: I think you're asking about the difference between alimony and the division of marital assets (what you're calling the settlement). Your share of the marital assets can be paid out in lump sum or monthly if that's what you and your husband decided to do. Once enough time has passed for you to attain everything you're owed in the division of marital assets, those "settlement" payments will stop. Entirely distinct is alimony (sometimes called maintenance). These are monthly payments intended to help a spouse live at a similar standard of living to what she/he lived at during marriage. Alimony is more prevalent in long-term marriages with children (over 20 years) than in short-term marriages. Alimony can be granted for a period of time, say 5 years, or for one's entire life. Usually, alimony ends when the receiving spouse gets remarried or cohabitates with someone.
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