Divorce, Facebook Style: 5 Mistakes People Make After a Break-Up

Divorce, Facebook Style: 5 Mistakes People Make After a Break-Up

Posted to Resource Articles by Lisa Steadman on Fri, 09/25/2009 - 9:37am

There’s no denying it. Breaking up is oh-so hard to do, especially in today’s 24-hour techno-savvy world of Facebook, Twitter, and post-breakup booty calls arranged via sex-ting. If you’re nursing a broken heart, be sure to avoid these emotionally costly social networking mistakes…

1. Do NOT stay connected to your ex on Facebook and Twitter. Yes, social networking has made keeping up with friends both near and far incredibly easy and convenient. What it’s also done is make healing a broken heart excruciatingly difficult.  Whereas once upon a time, we risked getting caught if we drove by our ex’s house or dialed his digits and hung up when he answered, in today’s techno-savvy world we can cyberstalk our ex in our pajamas, from the safe glow of our computer screens, at 3 a.m. If you find yourself lurking on your ex’s social networking pages, keeping tabs on who he’s talking to and what he’s doing, you may need an  intervention from your Boo-hoo Crew.  Seriously, call one of them immediately and have them come over to exorcise your ex from your online life.

2. Do NOT blog about the breakup on Facebook and Twitter. Okay, so maybe you’ve removed your ex from your Facebook friends. Now you’re in a new phase of post-breakup rage, a.k.a. ranting about your ex online to anyone who will listen/read. Here’s the problem with doing this.  Breakup karma is a bitch.  It will come around and smack you upside the head. Maybe not today, maybe not this year, but one day in the not-too-distant future you will be dating somebody new.  Things will be going really well.  And then he’ll discover your online rants about your ex, label you a psycho, and delete you from HIS Facebook friends. Do you really want to earn a reputation as the scary chick who goes off on her ex online? I didn’t think so.

3. Do NOT expect your social network to take sides. Chances are, you’ve got a few hundred or a few thousand cyber friends.  Let’s be clear.  Cyber friends are not the same as real friends.  Do not ask your cyber friends to take sides in your breakup. It’s childish, unreasonable, and makes you look incredibly petty.  Instead, reach out to your Boo-hoo Crew. They’re allowed to take your side.  In fact, invite them over for a night of ex bashing, blaming, and shaming in the comfort of your own home. You’re allowed to wallow. Just don’t do it online to your faux friends.

4. Do NOT engage in e-venge. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. And a scorned woman with 24/7 access to the internet? There’s no telling the damage she can do! But before you send your ex a computer virus, hack into his email and delete everything, or IM his boss with inappropriate inuendos, stop. Step away from the keyboard. And remember that while revenge fantasies are sweet, revenge realities can come with serious consequences. Just don’t do it.

5. Don’t forget to password protect yourself. After a breakup, it’s essential to your online and offline security to change all of your passwords. You don’t want an angry ex lurking in your email, logging into your online banking, and wreaking havoc with your cyber security. Right here and now, password protect yourself by updating all your online passwords. You’ll thank me later!

So there you have it. The top 5 costly social networking mistakes following heartbreak. If you’re nursing a broken heart, be sure to protect your online security, maintain your dignity, and disconnect from your ex as much as possible.


Internationally acclaimed heartbreak reinvention coach Lisa Steadman is the best selling author of It's A Breakup Not A Breakdown: Get over the big one and change your life - for good! and the follow up workbook It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown Workbook: A 21-Day Action Plan to Plot Your Revenge, Spoil Yourself, and Find Out How Good Your Life Is Without Him.