In a recent blog, I addressed about how guys in Manhattan seem to look but not talk and, compared with guys in some other parts of the country, are hard to start a conversation with.

A reader commented that perhaps I make the move and approach the man. There's no doubt this is a good piece of advice and one I had already taken into consideration.

But here's my problem: If a guy doesn't have enough balls to make a move or isn't interested enough to try and start a conversation, then why should I?

This may sound snobbish, but I am not here to make a guy feel good and boost his ego. I have dealt with enough crap and am tired of bending over backward to make good with guys. It is their turn.

I want to feel as though I am desired and attractive and I want to be pursued — not be the pursuer.

As you can tell by my thick Little Black Book (not!), my strategy is working quite well. Ha!

As nice as it is — or was — to cuddle and sleep next to a significant other, I am getting pretty darn used to sleeping alone.

It has been well over a year that I have had my bed all to myself and the thought of sharing it sometimes makes me cringe.

When you sleep alone you don't have to deal with snoring. You are not awakened by someone pulling on the blankets. You don't find yourself being smothered by a well-intended arm wrapped around you. You don't have to be subjected to someone's too-long toenails brushing up against you in the night.

Yes, there is something to be said about sleeping alone.

There's something I have noticed about guys in Manhattan ... they look but don't talk.

I will be the first to admit that I am not hitting the clubs and aggressively putting myself out into the dating world but is it so hard to smile or strike up a conversation with a stranger of the opposite sex?

What's interesting is that within the last month or two those guys who have started a conversation with me have not been from, or even in, Manhattan.

For example, I was recently in a Chicago airport and a guy from Texas who was standing in front of me in the security line turned around and smiled and asked how I was doing. And during that same trip I was sitting in the food court area of the airport wasting time because of a delayed flight when a Chicago-native (who now lives in Oklahoma) sitting at an adjacent table started talking to me and ended up joining me at my table. I have yet to experience such male friendliness in New York.

Why? My thought is that people-men and women, alike-are just too self-consumed. They are running to a meeting, they are on the phone or Blackberry, they have their iPod headphones stuck in their ears or maybe they just want to be perceived as "important" so they stick their nose up in the air and walk on pretending to be oblivious to those around them. Whatever the reason, people just keep to themselves.

Being from the West Coast and required to travel every few months on business, I do notice a difference in guys outside of Manhattan.

The other night I ran into a guy I know. I have known him for a few years but would consider him more of an acquaintance than a friend. He lives on the West Coast so I don't see him but once a year or so. One thing we do have in common is that we are both divorced.

Anyway, he was on the phone talking with someone and it sounded like it was girl. I asked him if that was the girl he was seeing about a year ago when I saw him last and he said yes and added that they are now living together.

So, several hours (and several drinks) later he starts getting pretty friendly and asks if he could walk me home. I am no dummy and know exactly what that means.

I call him out on the fact that he has a girlfriend and he lives with her! He doesn't deny this is the truth but says that, since his divorce, he lives life to the fullest. His girlfriend is okay with this, he claims. Yeah, right!

I explain to him that I got divorced because my ex was unfaithful and I know what it is like to be the girl who gets her heartbroken. I kindly tell him goodnight and head off alone.

I, of course, can't change his ways but I can control what part I play-or don't play-in his relationship with his girlfriend.

And men wonder why many women call them "pigs."

I travel about a half dozen times a year for my job and it finally happened. I finally sat next to a cute, single guy on the plane!

Up until this moment, I thought only such luck happened in the movies as I'm usually wedged next to a crying baby or someone whose large frame takes up their seat and part of mine.

I first noticed this guy standing off to the side as we waited to board the plane. I didn't think more about him until I was seated on the plane and heard a voice say, "Excuse me." I looked up to find his large blue eyes hovering over me. ("YES!" I think to myself.)

I happily got up so he could slide into the window seat. After a few awkward moments of trying to pry my seatbelt from under his bottom, we started making small talk. He is about my age and in the air force (oh my ... a real life "Top Gun"?!). And to add to his charm, he's from the South so he has a very cute Southern accent.

The one major downfall: He lives in the Midwest and not Manhattan, as I'd hoped.

A very quick hour later our plane lands. For the first time ever, I was hoping that the flight would have lasted for a few more hours. Before deplaning I gave him my business card and told him that if he ever comes to Manhattan he knows where to find me.

I will probably never hear from him, but who knows!

I had another session with my therapist and I was telling her how lately I've been feeling sad and unsure what I'm doing with my life. I have been feeling like something is missing.

I believe that "something" is knowing what I'm working toward each day when I roll out of bed and go to work. As I mentioned in a previous blog, when I was married I felt as though I was working toward our future family, our retirement, etc. Now, that's gone.

Her take: I am still in mourning. I am not mourning the loss of my ex, necessarily, but am mourning the loss of a future that I had envisioned and was working toward. I believe she's right.

I think my mind and heart are still adjusting to the fact that my future will not be as I had envisioned it. I am now heading down a new path and I don't know where it leads.

I guess the reality is that I need more time to heal but I get so impatient with myself. I just wish I could wake up and forget that I was even married. I wish I could date without fearing the person will be disloyal. I wish I could be how I was before I married.

The other day I was talking with my new therapist about how to trust someone again when or if the day comes that I find myself in a new relationship. Her advice was interesting and made sense to me so I thought I would share some of what she had to say.

She suggested that if I do start dating someone to pay attention to how that person makes me feel instead of trying to concern myself with what he's up do every waking hour he's not by my side and driving myself nuts.

For example, if he has a wandering eye and doesn't seem to care that it may bother me, that may be something I decide not to tolerate. Or perhaps he gets defensive when I ask him who is on the phone versus just answering my question. Whatever it may be, the bottom line is, how does he make me feel? Special? Like I'm a nag?

Her suggestions made sense to me because, in looking back on the last few months of my marriage, there were certainly signs that something was amiss. My ex became defensive over the smallest things. He failed to empathize if something bothered me. Even though I didn't know at first that he was being unfaithful, on some level I did know.

In short, the therapist reminded me of something I already knew ... you have to just listen to your gut instincts and pay attention to how someone makes you feel. If you gut is telling you something is wrong and the person doesn't make you feel special and cared for perhaps that's a big red flag to get out.

Sometimes when you're feeling down something happens or someone makes a comment that makes you stop and think and helps turn your frown around. This happened to me the other night in the back of a New York City taxicab.

I had just left a work-related holiday gathering and was feeling a touch of the holiday blues when I jumped into a cab to head back to my apartment. In my experience, the cab drivers usually don't make much small talk but this driver was a talker.

He was talking about his plans to take his children to see the tree in Rockefeller Center over the holiday weekend when he asked me if I have kids (no). He then asked if I'm married (again, no). He starts to give me the inspirational speech on how one day I will be married, and I decided to tell him that I already tried that and got a divorce.

I didn't get into the details of my divorce, but told him that my ex didn't want to work at the marriage and so I got a divorce. Immediately coming to my defense, the cab driver says, "Well, f%#k him. F#%k him." (My thought, precisely.)

He goes on to say that one day I will find someone, but that it is good that I can take care of myself. And before I jumped out of the cab and headed home he wished me a Happy Holiday.

I walked into my apartment feeling better about my situation and myself. It was an unexpected pep talk and perhaps was just what I needed that night.

I haven't tried online dating and I don't know if I ever will. There's something about the concept that gives me the creeps, but a recent conversation with an older male colleague has left me wondering if I — about 40 years his junior — am just too old-fashioned.

My colleague, whose wife passed away a couple of years ago, knows that I'm divorced, and the other day we started talking about our plans for the holiday weekend. He informed me that he had two dates for the weekend.

One woman he met through a friend, and they've already had a couple of dates. The other woman he met through an online dating service. They've been talking on the phone quite a bit and will be meeting for the first time in person.

Curious to get his perspective on online dating since — he's like, 70 years old — I asked him if he likes it. He says he's tried them all — Match.com, eHarmony.com, and the list goes on. Some online services he likes better than others.

He also made a comment that confirmed one of my concerns with online dating — lying. He said that when he first started online dating, a friend told him to lie about his age, to knock about 10 years off. He took his friend's advice, but felt guilty about it so he changed his profile to reflect his real age. He's heard many stories of women doing the same.

Is that what online dating is all about? Do your best to "sell" yourself even if it means telling a few lies in the process?

He acknowledged that there are a lot of wackos out there but he said I should give online dating a try. I don't know. I'm still not convinced that online dating is something for me, but knowing that someone his age is embracing technology and stepping back out into the dating scene makes me feel a bit wimpy. Maybe I'm just too old-fashioned.

I'm on the West Coast now, attending my sister's graduation from nursing school. As you can imagine, it's been a long five years of schooling and she's thrilled to finally be done.

I was so proud to see her walk up on that stage and receive her diploma.

There's no doubt that this year has been her year. She got married for the first time, she and her husband bought their first home and now she has graduated from nursing school — all in 2007!

I think the thing I'm most proud of is that she now has her college degree in nursing. I wish her only the best in her marriage and her husband seems like a really good guy, but as we know, things can change when you least expect it.

It brings me comfort knowing that no matter what twists and turns her life may take, no one can take away her education.

I've always believed that education was extremely important, but as a woman who has been divorced I couldn't think it is more important than I do today.

I believe there is only one person you can truly rely on and that is yourself. We must do everything we can to give ourselves the tools and resources necessary to take care of ourselves and education certainly tops the list.

Even if a few years down the road she decides to have children and puts her nursing on hold to become a stay-at-home mom, at least she has the education to put in her back pocket.

As I said, I couldn't be more proud of her!