I don't know what my deal is, but I've been so emotional lately.

I have a hunch that I know what my problem is but I'm not certain. I am in the midst of going through a lot of financial crap from my divorce, and I'm nervous about how it will all play out. I believe this nervousness is what's been eating at me.

I often find myself holding back tears at the oddest moments — like when I'm walking to work.

My grandparents call from thousands of miles away to say "hi" and I'll get teary eyed when I hang up the phone, longing for the days when I was a carefree child playing on my grandparents' farm.

I haven't shed any tears since the spring when I was in the midst of my divorce. I thought my well had run dry. But now, this whole financial fiasco has brought them back to a degree.

I'm longing for the day when all of this is over. My new paper shredder is on standby, waiting for the day when I no longer need certain documents from my marriage. I just want to shred it all up and move on with my life!

It feels as though I closed yet another door in my former married life as I sold my car.

Living in Manhattan, I don't need a car, but I've been hanging onto it just in case. Earlier this year, I finally paid it off, so owning a car free and clear was not something I wanted to give up too quickly. However, I felt as though the time had come.

It was a little sad selling it, because while John and I purchased it together, it was in my name from day one. It served as our primary car, and carried us on many road trips through the beautiful New England landscape. It was a good car that never gave us any mechanical issues.

In the divorce settlement, it was agreed that I would keep the car in my name, and it would be my car. John would keep another vehicle that we bought from a friend a few years back.

The other day, I drove to a used car lot and left in a cab with only the license plates. Another door closed.

It must have been one of those days where I had a big chip on my shoulder.

I stopped by the bank to make a quick deposit. I was filling out the deposit slip before jumping in line for a teller when a bank representative — one of the ones who sit toward the back at a desk — approached me and said he could help me if I was just making a deposit. I said "okay" and followed him to his desk.

I soon discovered that not only was he going to make my deposit, but he was also going to use the opportunity to pitch me other products. He managed to convince me it would be wise to open a savings account with them, to accompany my current checking account.

As part of the process, he went through my profile, which contains information like my former bank, that I had a home for sale, etc. The questions began.

"So, are you married?" he asked. "No, I'm divorced," I replied in sharp tone. He cringed, as if to say he's either sorry for my divorce or sorry he asked.

He then asked about the home that was for sale, and whether I purchased again or was renting. This was obviously his way to trying to determine if he could pitch me on refinancing or establishing an equity line of credit.

I know he had no idea what hell I've gone through for the past year but, nonetheless, his probing pissed me off. In a nutshell, I told him that I didn't repurchase, I'm renting. I've had it with real estate, and don't want nor need any of the bank's products. I really just wanted to reach across the table and slap him.

He was a nice guy, and I know he was just doing his job, but I was in no mood for his questions. Guess I did have a chip on my shoulder that day-a big one.

Some of the bloggers on First Wives World have complained about how single guys in the dating pool seem to prefer to text messaging as opposed to picking up the phone and talking. Well, that would turn me off too, but I have found texting to be the preferred way of communicating with my ex.

Unfortunately, there are still some financial loose ends that John and I are wrapping up, even though our divorce was final in March.

If I feel that it doesn’t need to be a lengthy conversation, I will text him what I have to say instead of calling him. And, of course, I only contact him about business matters.

Over the months, I've learned that texting helps me maintain my calm and usually prevents me from losing my temper. It's harder to yell in a text message.

Texting versus calling also helps me distance him from my thoughts. It makes sense, because hearing a voice is more personal than reading a bunch of words on a screen.

I agree that texting can be a big turnoff in the dating world, but I’m digging it in the divorce world.

A recent post about New York legislation that requires notice be given in divorce cases about the potential loss of health insurance when one is covered by a spouse's plan calls to mind my divorce from John, which was finalized in March.

John's employer prior to our divorce didn't offer a feasible health plan and so he had been covered by my plan throughout our entire four-year marriage. However, when we began our divorce proceedings I told him that as soon as the divorce was final, I was dropping him from my plan so he had better start shopping around.

Well, in typical John fashion he didn't listen.

Days before our divorce was to be finalized in court he was scrambling to find a health plan he could afford, as COBRA was a costly option, to say the least. He asked me if I could just keep him on my plan for a few more months, but I declined (I had given him plenty of advance notice). He then asked me what he was supposed to do if there were a few weeks or a few months lapse when he didn't have coverage. My response: "Guess you had better hope you don't get sick."

Sure enough, the day our divorce was finalized I marched into my HR department and dropped him from my health insurance. John immediately found his own health plan. Some may view my actions as cold, but John didn't care about my health when he decided to sleep with someone else during our marriage and potentially put me at risk of getting a sexually transmitted disease, so why should I care about his health?

When dealing with divorce there is, of course, the emotional aspect, but there's also the material aspect. How will the furniture be divided? Who will get the TV and who will get the fancy set of wine glasses? Then there are the wedding photos, the wedding video, etc. This brings me to my main focus: What do you do with the wedding ring?

For me, the answer was fairly easy. Sell the sucker!

I no longer have any need for a ring that was meant to symbolize love, loyalty and devotion--all things John failed to provide. If he could throw my love and our marriage away like rotten leftovers then I could erase all evidence of him from my life.

Initially, I thought about trading the ring in for a new piece of jewelry, like a bracelet, but changed my mind. I figured I would be better served by selling it and depositing the money I would make selling the ring into an interest-bearing account and let that money grow. So, one afternoon I strolled through the Diamond District in Manhattan and hit about six different jewelry stores to see which one would give me the best deal.

When I went to hand the ring to the jewelry salesman, I took a long moment to look at it one last time and surprised myself by becoming a little tearful. The salesman saw my eyes tearing and asked me if I was sure that I wanted to part with it. As thoughts of John's lies and infidelity ran through my mind, I told the salesman as I gave him the ring, "Yes, I'm sure."

Rachel's post on "Protecting Your Finances and Credit" offers some great advice for women going through divorce and reminds me of the steps I took when John (my ex) and I decided that we would file for divorce.

Given that I handled all our finances, I didn't anticipate any surprises but I still ordered a copy of my credit report (I used TrueCredit.com) and went through it with a fine-toothed comb. Luckily, I found nothing that raised a red flag. I also had John call-with me listening in on the call via speakerphone-all his credit card companies, student loan lenders, etc. to verify that he, in fact, was the only one listed on the account.

For additional peace of mind, I signed up for a credit monitoring service through TrueCredit.com for a monthly fee. How it works: Each time there's a change to my credit report or an inquiry of any sort, I receive an alert via e-mail.

I didn't think John would try to mess up my credit by taking out loans or credit cards in my name, but I also didn't think he would ever be unfaithful in our marriage.

For me, and likely for many others, going through a divorce is an uncomfortable and unnerving experience. If John was able to look me in the eye and lie on countless occasions, what else was he capable of? His job wasn't going well and his finances were suffering so how far would he go to get money? Whether or not these concerns were justified, they still crossed my mind.

Some, like my ex, may call me paranoid. I just call it covering my own ass. If I don't watch out for myself, who will?

So I've been thinking a lot about real estate since I finally managed to unload our house last week, a nightmare that I've been chronicling here. I was thinking that two years ago John, my ex, and the real estate agent he had contacted, convinced me that the time was right to sell our little bungalow that we’d owned for nearly five years.

Two years ago, of course, the housing market was hot. It seemed like the right move. The house had appreciated more than $100,000 and when we put the “for sale” sign in the yard we had a signed contract within a week.

It wasn’t long before we upgraded to that fancy home John wanted, you know, the house that hung like a noose around my neck until just recently.

We moved into the new place during the fall and by the time summer rolled around, John was overwhelmed and stressed. He complained about the pool (it was tricky learning how to keep it clean and preventing the water from turning green), he refused to deal with the lawn (we ended up hiring a lawn service), and he’d already set his sights on an even pricier neighborhood in the area.

He was trying to live the life of a Wall Street high roller but there was just one problem: He was making very little money.

People ask me if that’s what led John to have an extramarital fling. Perhaps. Maybe he needed to do something “manly” to make up for the fact that he was making so little money. Feeling the pressure of a hefty mortgage and a big house that required a good deal of upkeep didn’t help matters.

Whatever the reason, it doesn’t really matter now. What’s ironic is that when we were dating, John always used to say money was the root of all evil.

For those of you who commented on my last post, thanks so much for your words of encouragement. You’ll also be happy to know that I, as one person put it, bit the bullet. I signed the contract to sell the house and am now packing! Yeah!

John (my ex) initially told me that he wouldn’t accept the latest offer because the couple was clearly jerking us around. I told him that I would be the one to make that decision and luckily he gave in without much of a fight.

I know that there are still many steps in the process, (the buyer’s mortgage commitment, a home inspection, etc.) but I’m relieved. I feel as though a ton of bricks has been lifted from my shoulders and I’m now free to move forward.

With the ink on the contract still fresh, I booked an appointment with an agent to start looking at apartments in Manhattan, placed ads for the furniture I’m selling and began packing. I only have 30 days before the closing. I never thought I would be so excited about buying cardboard boxes!

It’s been a long eight months that the house has been on the market. Finally, the end is in sight and I’m on the brink of a new beginning.

Some people have a lot of nerve!

I know I’m beginning to sound like a broken record but I lowered the price of my house again the other day. Hours after the price change took effect and was broadcast to all the local real estate agents via what they’ve coined the “hot sheet,” guess who calls my agent? The agent for the family of three.

In case you forgot, this is the family that I’d been negotiating with for weeks. Finally, after a lot of back and forth, I agreed to their price only to be told that they were no longer interested.

Now, it seems, they’ve returned to the negotiating table and obviously smell blood in the water. They’ve now offered me a price that is $10,000 lower than the “final” offer they presented to me (and I ultimately agreed to) just weeks ago. Their reason: The housing market continues to decline and that’s what they believe the house is now worth. It also doesn’t help that the comps paint a grim picture as prices of surrounding homes continue to drop.

There’s no doubt that these people are jerking me around. They can sense I’m desperate to sell and they are playing the game.

My initial reaction was to tell them to take a hike but I didn’t, at least not yet. As much as I don’t like being taken advantage of, the reality is that I need to get out of that house.

Each month I’m throwing my money away on the mortgage and commuting costs, and the threat of foreclosure looms closer as the months progress. To make matters worse, John (my ex) said it’s likely he will have to move back into the house come August due to his financial constraints.

I, of course, strongly expressed my opposition to him moving back but he does own half of the house and has been paying half of the mortgage, so legally my hands are tied.

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