Moving Beyond is a hell of a lot more fun than Navigating. I finally feel like I have gotten off of the emotional roller-coaster ride and have checked off most items on my "divorce to-do list." So, now what? Now we mix things up a little...
It seems like I'm always behind. There's so much to do and so little time! How does one stay sane while juggling the complications of divorce AND regular life at the same time? Sometimes, you just have to say...
My final divorce decree should come through any day now! With that in mind, I am intentionally focusing on the future instead of the past. (Easier said than done when I'm bombarded by romance-happy media!) So, for now, I'm employing some avoidance maneuvers.
As you all know, I am now "significant-otherless". Since I don't have anyone to spoil me on Valentine's Day by buying me things I really don't want, (like chocolate and gold jewelry), and taking me places I don't care to go, (Steven Seagal movies, the Hookah bar on 1st Ave), I have decided to treat myself to my own perfect Valentine's Day!
There are many things in the world that make my molecules hum, but one of the most potent is the sound of Ahmed’s voice. I don’t know what it is… It was one of the things I fell in love with right away. It doesn’t matter how much time passes, that sound makes me smile every time I hear it. There were lots of things that got old or boring or annoying in our marriage, but listening to him speak never fell into that category.
I’m bringing this up now, because that’s all I’m getting of Ahmed these days. It is too hard for us to be together. Well, harder for him because he’s a typical man. So, he’s drawing his boundaries and we haven’t seen each other much over the last few months.
But, we still talk twice a day. I call him every morning to say good morning and he calls me every evening to wish me good night. It’s a pattern we’ve had for 6 years and it’s the hardest pattern to break. I don’t want to break it. I could go on calling him every morning for the rest of my life.
(It occurs to me his next wife might have a problem with that. Sigh)
