I read Inner Work by Robert Johnson, a book about using your dreams and active imagination as a pathway to finding your "true" self. It's definitely not a novel; as a matter of fact, it's a pretty intense book, but it's one of those reads that you absolutely cannot put down.

It's packed with a lot of Jungian psychology; which to me, made it ten times better (I find that stuff fascinating).

Anyway, it's really a workbook for understanding and listening to your subconscious self by way of your dreams. I figure that since the majority of us bloggers here have mentioned a strange dream at least once, that I'd share the info.

According to the book, everything in your dream — people, places, objects, food, colors, etc. — are all symbolic representations of yourself, and knowing this is the first step to cracking your dream's deeper meaning.

A dream interpretion looks like this:

1. Write down your entire dream.

2. List every object and person.

3. Next to each object, write down what it means to you.

4. They say to use the "it clicks" method, which means that as you are writing down the meanings you will eventually stumble upon one that will make you say, "ahhh ha!" The more and more that you do, this the more natural it will become.

I tried it out on a bizarre dream I had the other night. In my dream I was in a big old house that I was not familiar with. Levi was there and we were getting along, but it was awkward. I was in the living room changing Adrian's diaper when Levi said to me, "Something is different about you. What's changed?" I looked at him and replied, "I'm not insecure anymore." As I was saying this to him, I noticed his cousin in the corner and it made me feel awkward that I said that in front of him.

Then I told Levi that I had a friend sleeping upstairs and I had to go wake her. I walked upstairs in this big house and my friend — who was nobody I recognized — was hanging by a noose from the rafters. But she wasn't dead, she was wide awake and smiling and asked me to cut her down. I did, without flinching, as if cutting her down was an every day occurrence and we walked hand in hand down the stairs.

Then I woke up thinking, what the....!!

So I picked it apart piece by piece and here's what I've got:

Big old house: spooky, dark corners, haunted

Adrian: Love, blessed, sweet, happy, funny

Diaper: cleaning up a mess, starting fresh

Levi: damage, heartache, insecure, cruel, sorrow, angry, guilt, betrayal

Levi's cousin: foreign, anger, resentment, intrigue

Girl hanging: I couldn't figure this one out

Holding hands: comfort, partnership, security

What clicked for me: Well, I couldn't figure out the noose thing, so I consulted the book. The noose represents guilt, but if the person hanging from the noose isn't dead it is actually symbolic of recovering from guilt. That clicked and I went from there.

The house represents myself, my mind, and since my split with Levi I have felt haunted. I've felt I've been blessed by Adrian and as a result I've done a lot of cleaning up and starting over.

As such, I've determined that this dream was my way of telling myself that it's okay to move on and to leave the guilt behind that I feel over the fact that Adrian doesn't have a true father. Something I've been struggling with for a while. How refreshing.

Anyone else struggling with these types of post-divorce dreams would certainly do well to give this a try.