I used to think that I had something to prove. That by not pursuing child support from Levi, I was proving to him and to his family that we didn't need them. At the very end of our relationship, they all tried to push me, hard, to put Adrian up for adoption. Since Adrian's birth, whenever the subject of child support has come up, Levi and his mother both said to me, "If you can't hack it, put him up for adoption." I felt like I needed to prove to them that I had made the right choice.

I keep talking about how much time has helped change my perspective on things, and I guess, for now, I will continue to do so, because it really has.

I have grown tremendously as a person from this experience. I feel like I was stripped down to my bare bones, and given the opportunity to start over. I feel like a new person.

As a result, I no longer feel that I have something to prove to them. Their opinion doesn't matter to me. It ceased to matter, when I realized that my son never began to matter to any of them.

That doesn't mean that this sucks any less, though. That doesn't mean that I wouldn't love to be able to do it all on my own. I simply cannot. Unfortunately, we live in a world in which finances are a necessity. It costs a lot to raise a child, and now, the only person I have to prove anything to is him.

I've made it through another day of this, and moving forward, what strikes me the most, is that I feel stronger. I feel like I can make it through this.