I finally realized today that one of my major problems is the fact that I absolutely cannot relax.

Okay, that may be an overstatement, but ask any of my friends and they will tell you that getting me to "chill out" is an enormous undertaking.

I spoke to my friend Rachel about it this weekend. "Yeah," she said. "But in some ways it's gotten better.  At least now you can actually sit through a whole movie."

Rachel and I have been friends since high school. High school, I think, was when my issues with anxiety started. (I've since realized that if you didn't have anxiety issues in high school you're abnormal.) Back then, not only could I not relax, I couldn't sit still either. I was constantly on the move.

Now that I'm an adult, it's kind of the same thing, except for the fact that there are times when I must sit still. Like, for instance, in meetings, doctors appointments, and all of the other grueling "grown up" stuff that we subject ourselves to.

Lately, I have been attributing my non-stop, go-go-go behavior to the fact that I am a single mother — I am quite busy. However, that idea became somewhat broken up when my therapist asked what a typical day was like for me. After explaining it to her, I realized that there are ways that I could make more time and slow down.

I told her that I get up for work at 7 AM, get in the shower, make Adrian breakfast, feed that cat, get us both dressed and out the door by 8AM. Then I drop Adrian at daycare, work at high speed from 9-5, pick Adrian up, drive home (sometimes stopping for groceries, diapers, etc.), start dinner, start cleaning up, eat dinner, and clean up some more.

Play with Adrian, do laundry or some other sort of cleaning.

We read books, I put Adrian to bed, I clean up some more and I start working on my freelance jobs. Then I clean up...AGAIN, and go to bed anywhere from 11:30 PM – 2 AM.

My conclusion is this: I clean too damn much.

My solution is this: I will only clean up once, at the end of the evening, after Adrian is already in bed (That way he can't make another mess!) I will slow down, and take time to breathe.

If you find yourself, like me, feeling overwhelmed all the time, you may find this exercise helpful as well. Just simply writing down what a typical day is for you can really help you find the time you've been looking for.