Goodbye; Good Life

Goodbye; Good Life

There is sunshine ahead

The last time I posted here was almost exactly two years ago.  The first time was in 2006.

Here is a message for all of you who are suffering the agony of betrayal and seeming defeat: you will heal.

Open your heart to joy.  Don't think about your betrayer; if he is the father of your children, think of him only as the father of your children.  If he flaunts his infidelity, pity the darkness he is creating for himself.  If he is cruel to you, know that he only has as much power as you give him.  Let your attorney be your instrument of revenge.  You learn to be your own light.

Go to the doctor and get the check-up of your life.  Exercise every day, even if you do it with tears on your face.  Light candles in the evening.  Make a good meal for yourself every day (No, the leftovers from the kids' mac 'n cheese don't count.)  Listen to music.  Call your friends and family, or email them, or both.  Find a therapist and use him/her.  If finances are a problem, find a therapist who works on a sliding scale.  If you don't have the energy to arrange for the check-up and/or the therapist, ask a friend, a sister, anyone you trust, to help you.

Forgive.  Most importantly, forgive yourself.  Whatever you hate about your own behavior, even if it's only that you chose the wrong guy, forgive yourself.  That was then.  This is now.

Believe.  Believe in your own worth.  Believe in laughter.  Believe in love, even if the only love you can feel right now is for your children or your pet.

I've been there.  I've taken the journey.  Travel through that valley or across that rickety bridge.  There's sunshine ahead.

I promise.