A Change Of Heart?

The other day my phone rang, a private number. As of late, I've been very wary of answering calls like that, but this time I went ahead and answered it.

It was Levi.

I said hello, and asked him "What's up?" I silently braced myself for whatever verbal onslaught was to follow — reminding myself that I could just hang up.

He told me that he just needed to talk. Something in his voice sounded different than what I've become accustomed too, so I decided to listen.

He told me that he'd been thinking a lot about "us" — "us" being he and I, not Adrian and I — thinking about where he went wrong and all of the horrible things he's done and said.

He started apologizing right then and there, without me even saying anything. He apologized for the affairs-he told me that he doesn't really know how to love a woman, that this is just who he is. He continued by saying that he never meant to hurt me and that he had truly felt that he loved me.

Then he started talking about Adrian. He told me how sorry he was for leaving me pregnant with our son, to pick up the pieces. He said he just "freaked out and couldn't deal." He told me that he hasn't seen Adrian or done anything for him because he is afraid of becoming emotionally involved, and he doesn't believe that he could be a "sometimes" dad.

He said that in his opinion parenting is something you either do all of the way or not at all. In or out. He has chosen out, and he feels like shit about it. This is when he started crying.

This continued for quite some time, and in the end both of us were apologizing and crying. He ended our conversation by saying that he was going to send money for Adrian and I. He said I'd have it by the next day.