   
      |
Living In Half
I'm the type of person that doesn't generally sit around and do nothing, so when I get up, I'm an active participant in the day. No matter how I'm feeling, I'm prepared for the day — in quantities.
There is a certain feel-good-spirit that is easier to exude as you have dressed, done make-up, and prepared yourself for the day. Then again, as I prepare for bed, I pray and think back on the positives of the day. I try to go to bed thinking positively.
I still have a persistent influx of emotions: anger, sadness, bitterness, fear, yet they encompass who I am and what I'm experiencing, so I don't let them eat me away.
Divorce sucks, and I often feel horrible - just like many other women out there. If it's mid-day, and it's been a horrible day, I'll start anew, with the next half of my day — usually with chocolate or coffee. Yum!
The idea of splitting the day in half works for me. I don't keep track of every emotion, but I can usually look back on the day and have enough decent moments to comprise one half of a good day. To that I can sleep well!
Range of emotions in a day
I can relate to the range of emotions you talk about in a day. I'm there too, up, down, angry, sad, and in between. What's really bothering me right now is that my husband is not showing any signs of sadness, distress, or unhappiness about the end of our marriage at all. Meanwhile, I feel betrayed, devastated, sad and anxious about the future. Sometimes I find it hard to focus, and I remind myself "I'm doing this task right now." Instead of half a day, I work on life hour to hour.
Emotions
I think men are generally better at masking their emotions. He probably feels a gamut as well, but with disconnected ties, is unable to share them with you. I'm glad you've found a way to help yourself deal. It certainly is a constant battle.
Taylor Raine
Guilt
I also try to take it hour by hour. It seems those big sighs are down to a few every few hours.
I find the worst part of the day to be the drive home from work. This was the time I would call my husband and rehash the day, he was afterall my best friend. Not only did he leave me with a bag of emotions he took away my best friend.
My husband also shows no emotion. I think because he has told himself and everyone else who will listen so many lies about why we "broke up", that he believes them. It makes him feel less guilty. After all he has a new girlfriend to help him make a new life, and I am left to pick up the pieces and keep the kids life as normal as ever.
Kim
Best Friend
I'm glad everyone has found a means of dealing with their pain. I've recently tried mediation CD's by Deepak Chopra that seem to help with those sighs.
I have used this time to reconnect with my family members. My ex was always very controlling and hated when I would have phone conversations. I also use the car ride home to listen to music that will help me stay refreshed for the rest of the day.
My ex is also sharing the lies. It's difficult to have to "re-explain" yourself to others. I think that's why so many couples that have other couple friends end up choosing sides. Lucky for me, we didn't have any of those friends - he wouldn't allow it. So, I'm on my own. I do have some very supportive groupies. I hope you find some too.
Taylor Raine