Revenge Is To Live Well

Revenge Is To Live Well

The journey to recovery post-divorce

I know as human beings we shouldn't be looking for revenge. But in early recovery of divorce revenge and having your EX feel your pain is a major want.

I understand the trust issue. I have trust issues and I felt that I would never have a man walk into my live and give my whole heart. Through reading, attending a support divorce group and therapy, I learned that we cannot control others, while only ourselves. You will become strong enough to trust YOURSELF. When you trust yourself you'll know when the right person is there for you and you will trust that your relationship is strong. But you still can't control what others do.

This is such a process. Although the pain of my early journey in this divorce process I wouldn't wish on anyone. It did make me stronger. Yes I didn't want the strength at first. I wanted my home, family intact. That was not so, so I had to re-learn everything in my life again.

I don't believe I will ever re-marry again. However, I want a man in my life I can share the last half of my live with. I believe I have the tools and I'm sorry it did take years for all these lessons to be learned.

Divorce support groups are on meetup.com in your area. Join. They have speakers, along with new members just like you and veterans, who will embrace you when you're filled with tears one day and rage the next. Check churches for groups. I had to travel an hour and a half for mine and it was worth it. They have social groups and without the laughter through the tears I certainly don't know if I'd be here. I was on lexapro, not eating, sleeping and was borderline sucidal. My husband was my world. I was with him for 29 years all together with children and a very active life.

One day I sat in small studio with boxes everywhere and cried so hard I thought the lady landlord would call the police. I was so desperate. I started to drink. I wanted to die not one person could shake some sense into me. My kids at that time stayed away because they couldn't handle watching me spiral into the grief I was in. They were so fearful for my physical and mental well being. My youngest became the mother and I was the child.

Things are not perfect today, but I have new friends with this journey. I have a new job, a guy who is a companion. I'm buying my first home all by myself.

You'll find that you're old life will be nice memories. And in a mediation, visualize folding that life and putting into a god box. Place the box on a shelf, the shelf representing the back of your heart.

I know the pain is unbearable at times. :( Know you're loved here.