Goodbye, FWW!

Goodbye, FWW!

I’m unsure how things will go as I push ahead with therapy and life with Rob, but I’m ready to give it a try without writing as I go. As I wrote around the New Year, perhaps not reporting on our (lack of) progress will free up some mind space to see things in a new way. It’s a new strategy, and one that I’ll stick to only as long as it serves me. Will I be with Rob forever? Still not sure, but I’m not ready to give up yet.

What have I learned as a FWW blogger? That I’m not alone, but I’m also unique. I’ve learned that I share parts of my story with some of you, but not every part. I’ve learned that I am quite easily (interestingly but unfortunately) ashamed of my lack of progress in my relationship with Rob, as if the only mark of a strong woman making her way and getting what she wants in of this world is steady change at all times, at all costs. But as embarrassed as I sometimes felt, I didn’t let it keep me from telling you the truth: that I’m often uncertain, often left wanting more, often not sure how to get it. I move slowly, but I don’t lie. 

Ultimately I’ve learned that I’m on a journey and my decisions shape its path, so it’s best to go forth carefully and methodically, with my own health and happiness in mind. Recently I heard someone point out that many of us wait for permission to live, even as life is a terminal condition. I’ve only got this once chance, so I’ve installed myself at the helm, and I set my course to my own heart, not to others’ thinking.

So finally I’d like to say thanks for reading, thanks for commenting, and thanks for being out there setting good examples and lending support when needed. I’m continually impressed by the community at First Wives World and wonder how women went through the vagaries of marital uncertainty, separation, and divorce without such a thing. Good luck to everyone; may you find peace in the shapes of life, love, and family that you make.