I said yes to doing stand-up comedy in NYC Sunday night.

Here I go again terrorizing myself. Why?Why?Why? I won't sleep till it's over. I know my friends think I'm funny, but a packed room of strangers? Once again, I obviously need to prove it's never too late to risk anything — even my reputation.

My producer Mark Goldman made me do this 3 years ago when I was a stand-up virgin. I was freaking out until I got up to the mike and heard the first laugh from the crowd. Then they couldn't get me off the stage.

Some say if I hadn't gone on for 3 weeks I might have won the darn thing. I was disqualified for going past the five-minute window, They flash a red light to get off. I never saw it, just heard the laughs from the crowd and kept rolling.

They had to call the comedy police to get me off.

On Sunday, I will try again, representing FirstWivesWorld.com in the 3rd Annual New York's Funniest Reporter Show and I am one of nine brave souls in a stand-up comedy competition that raises money for Operation Uplink, a unique program that keeps military personnel and hospitalized veterans in touch with their families and loved ones by providing them with free phone cards.

Who am I not to risk my reputation for people who are risking their lives for me?

If you are in NYC, it's at the Gotham Comedy Club starting at 8:30pm.

The event PR is being run by the fabulous Ryan McCormick. The cost is $15.00 and a two-drink minimum. Personally, I may need a couple more before I get up there. Call 212 -367-9000 to see if there are any reservations left. My Ithaca College roommates who spit out their coffee when they heard, may already have bought them all.

Wish Me Luck!

OK, it's a weekend...and my "Guilt-O-Meter" will begin to rise from LIGHTLY GUILTY on Friday night to HOLY MOTHER OF GUILT by Sunday night.

Here how's it works:

Friday:

It all starts mid-Friday for this single mom, with thoughts of weekend "possibilities". It's a running battle of Guilt vs. Pleasure, and it's played out like a really sadistic game show.

Beginning about midday, thoughts of the approaching night swirl through my head... Friends? Romance? Exercise? Romance? Family? Romance?

If I wait too long to make a decision it gets dark out, and I get pooped out.

But Friday night is supposed to be the start of a breather and, with a little extra caffeine, I can gear up for pleasure. Unless it happens to storm, my hair’s too dirty, or I'm too fat...all of which even I can mostly get past these days with my new free wheeling thinking.

If I miss the caffeine, I land on the couch.

If I make it out, I am usually already guilty when I wake up on Saturday.

Saturday:

The GUILT-O-METER starts at "PARTLY GUILTY" the minute I open my eyes and steadily rises. As I zoom around doing errands , thoughts of Needs vs Desires thrash around in my head.

The Needs: things like a car wash, household fixits, food shopping, laundry, manicure, etc., etc., etc. are all pitted directly against…

The Desires: laying at a pool, going on a boat, buddy time with my daughter, and lust. No time for sitting down here. Whichever I choose, I start feeling guilty about not doing the other.

Saturday Night:

The GUILT-O-METER holds steady at "MOSTLY GUILTY" because there's no way I completed everything on the Needs list earlier, and I am either out thinking screw it or I am home on the couch passed out.

My girlfriend just emailed me and asked if I had "blog block." Yup guess that's it. A name for my condition. I didn't realize it was an official condition till just now.

You may have noticed the date of my last post. So what — you ask — have I been doing?

Well...everything you could possibly imagine and some stuff you wouldn't even believe.

Lately I have only two speeds — GO and PASS OUT — and I maximize every hour of the day I am blessed with.

Funny, I write all day long in my head but apparently my head and my hands have not been communicating. I assume that would translate into Blocked- Head as opposed to Blockhead which is so unfeminine....

So I am in search of the antidote to Blog Block and I aspire to my next post — shortly.

Debbie

I will always know when it's Ivana Trump's new wedding anniversary, because I got married on the same day — April 12th. Difference is, I'm no longer married — thus the date no longer applies to me.

But the date does still exist, and every year all the faded, happy wedding day memories rush back and linger for 24hrs, along with a feeling that makes me a little queasy. It's kind of like the feeling you get on the birthday of someone you once loved who is dead. The wedding anniversary that no longer exists. A surreal event that you and your ex remember silently, privately, in separate new worlds on that day every year... Gone... Poof!... except for the wedding photo album which you have stashed away — somewhere.

So, while Ivana was getting married to her scandalously young fourth husband in Palm Beach (gotta love her), I celebrated Her/Our anniversary with my brother's kids at a Japanese restaurant, followed by a big sleepover at my house. My daughter (who was out with her boyfriend) came home late and woke me up off the floor where I fell asleep, discussing the meaning of life with a 9 year-old.

Teresa Natole, the most beautiful woman inside and out, my daughter's precious grandmother and my ex-mother-in-law, passed away last Friday. I am very sad. She died on the exact same day as my younger brother, Stephen, did three years ago. March 7th. Weird things like that always happen. On Friday I was teary all day.

Hurt me as much to break off with Teresa and my ex-father-in-law back then as it did my ex-husband, Lou. They were the sweetest in-laws in the world.

I hadn't seen Teresa in about a year. I had kept my distance intentionally over the years, first out of guilt and then out of self-imposed "exile," "protocol," whatever.

Lou remarried and I didn't want to be an intruder in their new family structure. I didn't think I was supposed to. There was a new daughter-in-law. I had chosen to shut the door and now I needed to stay in out.

Over the years, Teresa and I talked and visited a few times, but never as much as I should have or that I would have wanted to. There was always an unspoken love between us, and always, I am sure, an unspoken disappointment in my choice to break up a family. For me there was unspoken guilt every time.

I have so many regrets as I remember her smile and her voice and her kind heart. I really wish I had figured out how to have managed it differently. I kept meaning to, yet the years kept flying by.

My heart is heavy. I know all too well the pain of losing a beloved parent and I am so sad for Lou and my ex-father-in-law and my daughter and the rest of the family.

Now comes the wake and funeral this weekend, and I will be the estranged ex-wife and ex-daughter-in-law...wishing I had done things much differently.

Think Valentine's Day is going to be a big drag? Think again. There are a few advantages...!

#1 You won't have to hide behind a planter at the hotel check in.

#2 You don't have to shave anything.

#3 It won't matter whether or not your cell phone has reception.

#4 All the chocolate is yours.

#5 You don't have to kill yourself looking for a bud vase.

#6 Nobody has time for a manicure/pedicure during the middle of the week anyway.

#7 You can buy your own flowers in the morning and get it over with.

#8 You can spare yourself a brain tumor trying to find a babysitter.

#9 You can call up all your old boyfriends "legally".

#10 No one is going to ask you to model a G-String.

Love,

Debbie Nigro, First Wives World's Chief Executive Girlfriend

Repeat After Me...

#10 - I will embrace being a third wheel and accept all couple invitations

#9 - I will sleep in the center of the bed

#8 - If I should meet a younger man- I will motion to change the word 'cougar" to "gift from above"

#7 - I will sit my kids down and break the shocking news that I not an ATM machine

#6 - I not allow strange children to sleepover out of guilt

#5 - I will maximize my busy day and do a daily set of squats while my coffee is perking

#4 - I will be grateful everyday for what is good- and let go of negative emotions and people that cause eating binges

#3 - I will finally delete all "dead relationship ' phone numbers from my cell phone

#2 - I will not worry what the rest of the family thinks about anything unless they are paying for it

#1 - Like a designated driver- I will appoint one person to tell me I am fabulous every day

Happy New Year!!!!

You Are Fabulous!!!! Stop by and be reminded today and everyday @ FirstWivesWorld.com

I finally got the nerve and the cash to resume where I left off so long ago with Dr. Harvey Shuster — oral surgeon extraordinaire from Westchester County, New York.

One implant, two bone grafts and a partridge in a pear tree later, my face is swollen and numb but I am happy. Not as happy as Harvey — trust me — but happy I was able to move out of the dental holding pattern and make some forward progress.

Money issues can make you dental mental! Like many divorced gals, my dental work over the years was mostly done on an emergency basis — like when you'd swallow a broken tooth during a business luncheon. It was always too embarrassing to explain I couldn't afford it.

My secret nightmare was that I would die of some dental complication that would infect my brain, and that everyone who ever knew me would forever tell the horrific dental story. How stupid a legacy would that be?

Anyway, I'm off to a Percocet, but just wanted to add that before the novocaine kicked in, I had a warm conversation with a couple of the gals who work in the office.

One gal told me of her triumphant comeback from a horrible divorce experience that caused her to have an actual stroke. The other is a sweet beautiful mother of 3 is in the middle of struggling through a divorce right now. I invited them both to stop by First Wives World. The first gal to lend some insight and the other gal to get some love.

I attended a lovely fall wedding outside overlooking the boats on Friday evening.

The beautiful bride and her charming new husband wrote their own very loving personal vows to each other and their words carried clearly over the microphone through the breeze and into the hearts of all the guests.

I looked around and saw tears well up in everyone's eyes. The tears, I knew, meant something different for each person there.

I saw a young, single girl touched by the emotions of a love that she hoped would someday come her way.

I saw a long married husband put his arm gently around his wife's shoulder.

I watched a widow stiffen.

I noticed a couple whose love had long cooled.

I felt the emotions of those who were divorced...floating memories of their own wedding days and broken dreams.

I heard the words "faith," "hope" and "love" and that famous wedding word
"commitment."

I wish for them a "happily ever after."

Just got the news that our First Wives World Montel Williams Show taped segment's airdate was postponed over the weekend by the producers, and that it will not air today as planned.

Do you have any idea how many people we have to call back and tell not to watch?

LOL,

Debbie