OMG...even my hair follicles are swollen. I am typing this while eating left over sweet potatoes because I just read they can debloat you. I'll get to that in a moment.

First, I just want to announce that the only thing I will strangely be grateful for these next few days is early darkness.

Darkness makes bloated people look more attractive.

Allow me to point out there is a marked post-holiday difference between swollen divorced women and swollen married women.

That being, that married women usually have a matching swollen spouse.

Single divorced women feel swollen alone and have little desire to attempt to get dressed attractively and socialize with the opposite sex.

Bloating for us is a lonely sport.

Post-holiday emotional and physical exhaustion when you wing a holiday without a wingman usually leads at some point to thumbing lazily through women's magazines you've been meaning to read searching for tips to lose weight.

On page 23 of the December issue of First Magazine I found the sweet potato flat-belly connection.

It said, "Each of these tasty tubers contains 950 mg of potassium — nearly twice the amount in a banana.

This electrolyte enhances the kidneys ability to eliminate retained fluids, banishing bloat in as little as 24 hours.

Plus sweet potatoes' betaine clears fatty deposits from the liver, accelerating the organs breakdown of belly fat for fuel."

Okay, if they say so.

I must not have eaten enough of them during Thanksgiving dinner to offset the other 20 dishes.

The ones I am eating now still have baby marshmallows attached.

I am not sure if that's a deal breaker. I'll let you know if I am still unable to get dressed in 24 hours.

Attitude Is Everything!
Debbie

To check in with Debbie or suggest a blog topic, email: [email protected]

I had a fun reunion in Dallas with a divorced gal pal I just love. We caught up over lunch about everything including her social life. They're either looking' for a nurse or a purse, she said point blank. I spit out my soup. When she told me her sister just sent her and her contractor a three year anniversary card, I snorted my salad.

What's going on around the country with divorced women with respect to their social lives really runs the gamut of emotions at different times.

This particular sweet potato has been in a couple serious relationships since her divorce back when, then she attempted some online and offline dates but they weren't working out.

She realized the problem too. HER. She just didn't give two craps. I think that was a quote.

She wished she did she said, but she didn't. So she stopped dating and started picking up men — in her pick-up truck — to work at her house and then go home.

Her contractor is the current man in her life and apparently its been going on for awhile. Three years is awhile, no?

But she explained, even a steady contractor can go MIA on occasion forcing you to find a replacement.

She told me she was so excited about a recent available contractor, he thought she was coming on to him.

Something tells me it may have had something to do with her opening line — "Show me your rock hard sheet rock baby!"

Some contractors even play hard to get she said, which is why her pick up line is of choice is? ... "Hey I've got a pick-up!"

So now we know.

Some women are out there flashing sexy legs and cleavage to attract men...others are out there flashing pick-up trucks to attract day workers.

To each her own.

Attitude is everything!

Debbie

To email Debbie: [email protected]

I feel like putting on my feetie pajamas at 5 o'clock. I know this happens every year when it begins getting dark early, but this year I can't take it any more. I am fighting back! Anything not to be on the couch for hours in between hustling back and forth to the refrigerator.

I need to suck up the daylight whenever I can so I have been forcing myself to get out. Mostly I try and make it to the gym because someone shrunk all the clothes in my closet.

To amuse myself I have been taking all the different kinds of classes they offer. Spin, pilates, kickboxing, body conditioning, etc. Monday night was boxing. I didn't notice I was the oldest person there until about half-way through. My chest was heaving and I was wondering if anyone in the gym had medical knowledge. What the heck was I thinking? After jumping rope, doing pushups on a hard wood floor, and completely flattening my manicure inside my boxing gloves on a punching bag, I had no idea if I would ever see darkness again...I was praying I could get back outside to the dark parking lot.

Too proud to flee, and with raccoon mascara eyes, I really hoped I wouldn't become a casualty. What's too much for a woman my age? Is there an age limit on boxing? Anyway, I made it through, high fived the 20 year olds on the way out and will continue to fight (box) getting SAD this year. SAD being Seasonal Affective Disorder. Lack of sunlight causes serious depression in many people. Figure out how to fight back at it if you are one of them. Maybe you should be the gloved one next?

Welcome to my recipe for disaster. On Thanksgiving Day this year my daughter will be 21. I am trying to combine a milestone birthday, a holiday, the umpteenth anniversary of my father's death and a tentacled divorce. I can't even tell you the half of it because doing so here would compromise the privacy of people close to me. I'm leaning toward Jet Blue. I will focus instead on stuffing.

My favorite stuffing story was the year I decided to make the bird at my house and transport it to my late brother Stephen's home. People were not relaxed. I was never known as the turkey girl and I that year I was going to show them! 

Everyone at the table watched in awe as my mother pulled a plastic bag of innards out of the stuffing cavity. I can still hear my brother's hysteria. This year I'm at it again...shoot me.

For decades it was my mother's Italian egg stuffing recipe. A combination of, roughly, a dozen large eggs, a handful of grated Locatelli cheese, a handful of chopped fresh Italian parsley, enough plain bread crumbs to thicken the mix till it drips off a spoon and a little salt and pepper. This then blows up inside the turkey and is absolutely delicious.

My sister-in-law Susie started going with her sausage & chestnut stuffing and my stuffing allegiance is now challenged. Actually, I am open to stuffing suggestions. Got any?

Ok, here's the latest cougar news — because everyone and their mother now thinks I am a cougar expert, except my own mother who may I remind you, I keep sending out of the country every time I am on the air somewhere talking about this. She is now a very frequent flier.

On Wednesday I was a guest on "Sex Files" on Sirius Satellite Radio Maxim Channel 108, which is hosted simultaneously by the lovely Anna David (out of NY) and the lovely Amy Spencer (out of LA). Every week they talk to men about sex, and this week's topic was "Dating & Cougars: How To Meet One, How To Woo One and How to Keep One Happy." No worries, I handled it.

Also on with us was Illona Paris, a sex therapist and self-described cougar, whose latest book out this week is called Hot Cougar Sex: Steamy Encounters with Younger Men. Her mother must live in Bora Bora.

She told hot stories. I tried to give warm advice but I used my every day Cougress voice. Wink. Listen to it here.

I should add that before allowing me up to the studios, for security purposes, I had to go through a "cat" scan. LOL — thought that was funny. Sort of purrfect timing.

Truthfully, the biggest thrill for me was hearing the show's hostesses with the mostesses, Anna and Amy, jump on board with my temporary new word for cougar — "Cougress," which I feel is at least a bit more feminine and a touch less harsh. By jove, I think I've started a movement.

A story on the front page of the NY Times Style Section called "France. Sex. Problem?" had me thinking all day about paying for sex — not me personally, I paid for a bagel — but women in general, and divorced women in particular.

In my opinion, based on what I hear women talk about privately, I don't think we are very far away from it becoming ‘somewhat’ socially acceptable. That is, for a woman to begin doing what men have done forever: pay for pleasure.

I KNOW I KNOW it's illegal. Illegal in every state that is except Nevada and (who knew?) Rhode Island.

You might remember that back in 2005, Heidi Fleiss, the former Hollywood Madam, amused women and the world with her idea to open a "Stud Farm" called “The Cherry Patch Ranch” with males serving an all-female clientele.

I’ve been a little busy since then, and haven’t exactly followed up on what happened there, so today I stopped and just made a call to the Cherry Patch Ranch to see what was up. The operator said she couldn’t answer any of my questions and that the manager would be in at four.

Heidi, I was told from another source, has been in Nevada since July but is currently operating a coin laundry — a temporary "cash and sheets business" if you will — ‘til she’s able to focus again.

She’s definitely planning to open that stud farm someday.

The Times story was about a new French movie called Cliente, which focuses on clichés about prostitution and gigolos in France. The main character is a 51-year-old hard-charging TV Shopping Channel anchor and director who, after her marriage falls apart, wants good sex without the strings (we can understand that concept) and is willing to pay handsomely for it (really now? Tell us more).

I, Debbie Nigro, Chief Executive Girlfriend of FWW, am devoted to an ongoing mission to explore for YOU, my faithful and devoted now-single-again girlfriends, all opportunities related to new men, mischief, and madness. This requires a load of continuous caffeine and an occasional gown.

My latest adventure even required a "wingman." Try finding one of those on the shelf at Walmart. Let me explain.

Some weeks ago the very famous matchmaker Janis Spindel contacted me to suggest I should attend her upcoming Elegant Affair. The invitation said attendees would be attractive, well-educated, upscale professionals age 40 and up personally selected by Janis and her cupids, and that every guest would be single and looking for love. I've had worse invitations.

Though intrigued to explore this rooftop black-tie soiree on your behalf, I didn't respond in time. When I did, I was told they had more women than men, thus I could only come if I could help keep the male/female ratio somewhat even, and bring a wingman.... Meaning, someone who I wasn't dating who is also eligible.

On a day's notice, Tony Dilluvio (pictured with me at the event, above) agreed to be my wingman. Tony has come to love his new "friendship for fame" trade-off relationship with me (also see last week's Today Show clip and my Debbie Does Divorce "He Said/She Said" segment with Tony).

We each hustled over the next 24 hours doing what you do when you're going to a black tie — finding something to wear. Difference is Tony drove to a tux place and emerged in 10 minutes with the perfect ensemble.

A happily married man is writing a book about cougars (I hate that word) and called last week to talk to me. Stop it — he did not get my number from the men's bathroom. I haven't even hit the West Coast yet. My job? To help him separate the media hype from the reality of cougars.

Charles Orlando from San Francisco, who is hopelessly in love with his wife and kids, is writing, The Problem with Women... is Men: The Evolution of a Man's Man to a Man of Higher Consciousness. It's an in-depth look into stereotypic men today and the challenges women have surviving with them and/or finding one that's good enough to keep.

The book is entirely from a man's point-of-view and experience and interestingly points out that young women are the ones most threatened by the cougar "because she looks much like they do yet has what they don't — confidence, financial means, security, command of her sexuality, and a strong sense of self."

Check out his article on cougars and MILFs where he reports "I spoke with a number of self-identifying cougars that were clear that they were after younger guys purely for fun. But I also spent time with Debbie Nigro, who summed things up beautifully: "When women are in their 20s, they are looking to procreate with... when they are in their 40s, they are looking for someone to recreate with."

We're launching a contest called "Redefining Divorce," but I can't enter because I'm an employee — DARN!

I had visions of winning that $1,000 Spa Finder gift certificate and having 10 guys massage me at once. Oh well, good luck to the rest of you guys. In keeping with the theme though, I created the following:

"Five Phrases That Redefine Divorce" —  To Use & Amuse When Introducing Yourself.

Here's how it works.

Imagine you are introducing yourself with an outstretched hand ready for a handshake.

Now pretend you're saying, "Hi, I'm so and so, and I'm divorced."

Now I want you to try the same thing again, but this time, choose any one of the phrases below and substitute it in place of the word "divorced."

Go ahead — try 'em all out and see which ones work best for you.

"Five Phrases That Redefine Divorce" — To Use & Amuse When Introducing Yourself:

1) Hi there I'm (your name) and I only make one side of my bed.

2) Hi there I'm (your name) and I accept invitations to celebrations — plus NONE.

3) Hi There I'm (your name) and I call somebody else's husband to hang a TV on the wall.

4) Hi there I'm (your name) and I stop at rest stops along a highway whenever I want to.

5) Hi there I'm (your name), a mom who goes out on dates and has more fun than my kid(s).

If these don't do the trick then just flip 'em your naked ring ringer.

Remember — Attitude is everything!
Debbie